28/02/2024
SELF ESTEEM
During a family chat over the weekend, I was telling my children how building healthy self-esteem starts within and with them first. I discussed with them some practices that will help build their self-esteem.
No Comparison:- It is not healthy for their mental health to want to be someone else or be like another person, comparison kills self-esteem. The validation you are looking for is embedded within you, it may never come from others until you validate yourself. Do not believe lies of negative words and negative teasing to take over their emotions. The comparison makes one lose his/her original identity.
Gratitude:- I told them to practise gratitude for who they are, for some the opportunities they have and appreciate when people pass pleasant comments on them instead of doubting. Other people’s negative opinions about them should not define them. I added whenever people commend your efforts, say ‘Thank God and appreciate them too’ and never look down on yourself.
Believe:- And most importantly they should believe in themselves more than anyone else.
I shared how ordinarily I shouldn’t be doing whatever I am doing today because there was no opportunity for a quarter of what I am by default. But because I believe in God, believe in myself, became my biggest inspiration and encouragement.
Word of Affirmation:- Of course, affirmation from people helped boost my confidence, though initially, I was doing a great disservice to get myself when people passed a compliment about my write-ups, videos, or teachings I would say ‘It's not good enough’ like trying to be humble right! Saying some positive words to yourself in the affirmative promotes good mental health and boost healthy self-esteem.
Our Potentials:- I told them how every one of us has potential we can not exhaust till we take our last breath, and that not only academics define us, but we all have our unique potentials and strengths. It's important to discover our strengths and celebrate our wins. Thinking on the competence on your skills should build your self-esteem.
When I went for Counseling training, we were told “ It's not humility to think you are not good”. I shared how I used to get commendations from people and would wonder if they were flattering me or not. Until I came to terms with myself and accepted I am such a blessing to my generation, I didn't have a healthy self-esteem.
I told my children how building healthy self-esteem got me a lot of compliments on how I was such a big inspiration to people. Esther was like wait, you mean people at home or where, You?she was surprised to hear that. I quickly told her “A prophet has no honor in his hometown”, and that I would show her such messages if she wanted to know.
Building a healthy self-esteem will not only get you compliments, applauds, and accolades, it will also promote a wholesome lifestyle and open great opportunities for you.
Abimbola Ohre (Restorer and Nourisher)
