04/10/2025
19 Things to Keep Secret in Your Marriage
I recently watched a video of a content creator couple who went online to show themselves bathing together, recording it for the whole world to see. Another man was shown massaging his half-naked wife, while someone else posted every stage of their pregnancy, labour, and even delivery.
This is not alright at all. As couples, we must be careful about what we expose online about our marriages and families. Some things are sacred, private, and must remain within the four walls of your home. Once you put them out there, you invite the world into your sacred space, and not everyone watching wishes you well.
Marriage is sacred, private, and delicate. Oversharing exposes you, your spouse, and your children to unnecessary danger, criticism, mockery, and even spiritual attacks. There are boundaries that must never be crossed if you want your marriage to be strong and respected.
Here are 19 things you must always keep secret in your marriage:
1. Your Intimacy and Bedroom Life
Your bedroom is a holy ground for you and your spouse. That is where covenant love is expressed in the deepest way possible. It is not for the internet, friends, or extended family. Recording intimacy, posting playful bedroom videos, or telling people how often you make love destroys the mystery of your union. When outsiders know too much, they begin to imagine, lust, and gossip about what should be sacred. What belongs in the dark, candle-lit privacy of your room must never see the light of public display. Remember: “Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled.” (Hebrews 13:4)
2. Your Nakedness
Your body is for your spouse alone, not for Instagram, not for TikTok, not for your followers. Sadly, many couples display half-naked massages, bathroom sessions, or even semi-intimate touches for content. This strips away respect and invites lustful eyes to feast on what should be hidden. Once you show the world your nakedness, you cannot take it back. Worse, it becomes a permanent stain on your dignity, and even your children may one day be ashamed. Protect your body as a jewel; it belongs to your spouse alone.
3. Your Fights and Quarrels
Every marriage has conflicts, it is normal. But maturity is measured by how privately you settle them. Going online to rant about your spouse, posting cryptic messages, or involving outsiders in every disagreement weakens your bond. Outsiders will take sides, exaggerate issues, and in some cases, never forget what you have already forgiven. What should end in 15 minutes can become a permanent scar when shared with the wrong audience. Keep your fights between yourselves, and if you need help, seek a marriage counsellor, not social media.
4. Your Financial Struggles
Hard times will come. Bills may pile up, jobs may be lost, and sometimes money may be scarce. But never make your lack a public broadcast. Friends may pity you, enemies may mock you, and opportunists may exploit you. Exposing financial struggles dishonours your home. Instead, share your burdens with God, a trusted financial mentor, or your spouse. Marriage dignity is preserved when you both bear the struggle silently and come out stronger together.
5. Your Spouse’s Weaknesses
Everyone has flaws. Maybe your husband forgets dates, or your wife struggles with cooking, or your partner snores loudly at night. But love is not about exposing weaknesses, it is about covering them with grace. When you mock your spouse’s flaws in public, you bruise their self-esteem and give outsiders ammunition to disrespect them. What you laugh about with others may be the very thing your spouse is praying to overcome. True love protects, it does not parade weaknesses.
6. Your Private Conversations
Those late-night talks, whispered dreams, hidden fears, and private jokes are the glue of intimacy. The moment you start leaking them to outsiders, you rob your marriage of its safe space. When your spouse realises their secrets are not safe with you, they will stop opening up, and intimacy will die a slow death. A good marriage is built on trust, and trust thrives in discretion. What is said between husband and wife should remain sacred.
7. Your Family Conflicts
Every family has disagreements, whether with in-laws, siblings, or extended relatives. But exposing those issues publicly is like setting your own house on fire. Once outsiders know, they take sides, insult your family members, and create divisions that last for years. Wisdom demands that family conflicts remain in-house. Protect your family name, because when dignity is lost, reconciliation becomes harder.
8. Your Plans and Dreams
There is a reason wise people do not announce every plan. Not everyone clapping for you is truly happy for you. Some will envy, some will sabotage, and some will pray against you. Whether it is business plans, relocation dreams, or family projects, learn to nurture them in silence until they manifest. The enemy cannot fight what he does not know. Your dreams are safer in prayer than on public display.
9. Your Spouse’s Past
The past is gone. If your spouse trusted you enough to share past mistakes, maybe moral failures, financial troubles, or painful childhood experiences, it must never become public gist. Using it to insult them during quarrels or telling outsiders about it is betrayal. When God forgives, He forgets. As a spouse, your duty is to bury the past, not dig it up.
10. Your Parenting Struggles
Pregnancy, labour, breastfeeding, or parenting challenges are intimate journeys. Sadly, many couples document every moment, labour room photos, breastfeeding videos, or tantrums, online. This reduces sacred family milestones to entertainment. Protect the dignity of those moments. Not everyone deserves access to the vulnerable seasons of your family.
11. The Lives of Your Children
Children are innocent, and they deserve privacy. Turning them into daily content for followers robs them of dignity and even puts them at risk of predators. Posting where they school, their daily routines, or their vulnerabilities exposes them to danger. Your children did not choose to be online celebrities, you forced them into it. Protect their childhood; let them grow without the burden of strangers watching.
12. Your Children’s Progress
It is a blessing when your child excels, whether in school, sports, or talents. But be careful about flaunting it. Not everyone who says “well done” is sincere. Some may envy, some may compare, and some may target your child out of jealousy. Celebrate privately, thank God openly, but do not turn your child into a competition tool. Their progress should inspire gratitude, not attract envy.
13. Your Financial Breakthroughs
When you buy a car, build a house, or land a big deal, your first duty is to thank God, not to post it for the world. Flaunting success attracts envy, robbery, and mockery. Quiet progress is safer than loud announcements. The richest people are often the quietest.
14. Your Forgiveness Stories
Forgiveness is a private healing process. Do not dishonour your spouse by announcing their mistakes as part of your testimony. Saying, “He cheated but I forgave him” or “She embarrassed me but I took her back” belittles your spouse. Forgive, heal, and move forward, privately.
15. Your Medical Issues
Health is deeply personal. When you or your spouse are sick, guard that information carefully. Pity, gossip, or even curses may come from the wrong ears. Discuss with your doctor, pray with your spouse, and lean on a few trusted supporters, but do not broadcast it. Your health is not public content.
16. Your Spiritual Battles
Every Christian faces seasons of weakness, temptation, or attack. But these are not for gossip. Do not turn your struggles into social media content. Seek help from God, a pastor, or a counsellor, not strangers who will mock your faith. Some things are better fought in the secret place with God.
17. Your Spouse’s Mistakes
Marriage is a journey of imperfection. Your partner will make mistakes, forgetting things, making errors, or even hurting you unknowingly. But exposing those mistakes is cruel. Protect their dignity. What you expose today may come back to shame them tomorrow. Be their safe place, not their betrayer.
18. Your Private Lifestyle
What time you sleep, how you bathe, how you handle hygiene, or how you spend your evenings are private routines. These are not episodes for strangers to watch. The more people know about your private life, the more they criticise and intrude. Keep your home as a sanctuary of peace.
19. Your Marriage Altogether
The truth is simple: your marriage is not a reality show. It is a sacred covenant. The world is not entitled to every detail of your life. A healthy marriage is marked by privacy, mystery, and respect. Protect your pearls from those who will trample them.
Conclusion
Marriage is a covenant, not entertainment. The more you protect your intimacy, your spouse, and your children, the more peace, dignity, and love you will enjoy. Privacy is not secrecy—it is wisdom. Oversharing will never strengthen your bond; it will only weaken it.
Scripture: “Do not give what is holy to dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.” (Matthew 7:6)
©️Pastor Bisi Adewale
