17/11/2025
WHEN SILENCE DESTROYS A HOME
Malice is one of the quietest killers of marriage. It does not shout. It does not break plates. It does not slam doors. It simply starves the relationship of breath until both hearts become strangers living under the same roof. When a home stops hearing itself, it starts dyingâslowly, quietly, and painfully.
Yvonne Jegedeâs story is not just a celebrity confession; it is the lived reality of countless couples who are suffering inside marriages that look perfect on the outside but are rotten with silence on the inside. She said it plainly:
âWhat ended my marriage was not money. It was the constant malice⌠We would be in the same house, not talking for weeks.â
That statement carries the weight of a thousand broken homes.
THE SLOW POISON OF MALICE
People often think marriages end because of money, infidelity, in-laws, or lack of compatibility. But many marriages collapse long before any of those things show up. They collapse when one or both partners begin to weaponize silence.
Malice is emotional starvation.
Malice is punishment disguised as âspace.â
Malice is control wrapped in silence.
Malice is the absence of love pretending to be calm.
You cannot love someone and deliberately torture them with the withdrawal of your presence, your voice, or your concern.
Yvonneâs story shows exactly how deadly malice is. She was pregnantâcarrying lifeâyet living with someone who acted like she was invisible. Imagine the emotional damage of waking up every morning beside someone who has decided you do not exist. Imagine carrying a child and the father does not ask how you are doing or where you took the other child. Imagine living in a house where you can hear footsteps but cannot hear care.
That kind of silence is violence.
SILENCE IS NOT PEACE
A lot of people mistake silence for peace.
But silence is not peace.
Silence can be war.
Some couples brag, âWe donât fight. We donât argue.â But that often means they donât communicate. The problem is not the noise; the problem is when the house becomes too quietâquiet enough for hearts to drift apart without resistance.
Healthy couples talk.
Healthy couples argue.
Healthy couples disagree.
Healthy couples resolve.
But couples who keep malice bury issues aliveâthey donât solve them. And anything buried alive grows roots.
THE DAY A SPOUSE STOPS TALKING
When someone stops talking, something deeper is dying:
⢠Their trust is reducing.
⢠Their hope is fading.
⢠Their interest is disappearing.
⢠Their emotional connection is drying up.
Many people who walk out of marriages did not leave the day they packed their bags. They left emotionally long before they left physically.
Yvonne said that when the silence reached three weeks, she packed her bags and left. But the shocking part is not her leaving. The shocking part is what happened after:
âThere was no âplease come backâ from him.â
No call.
No message.
No attempt.
No effort.
Sometimes the silent treatment is a strategy to break the other person.
But sometimes the silent person does not care enough to fight.
Nothing is louder than someoneâs silence when you desperately need their voice.
WHAT MALICE DOES TO THE MARRIAGE
Malice does more damage than most people understand. It creates:
1. Emotional starvation
Humans are wired for connection. Silence cuts off that connection until both partners become emotionally dehydrated.
2. Loneliness inside marriage
There is nothing more painful than being married but lonely. Malice creates isolation inside companionship.
3. Loss of trust
When silence becomes a weapon, the marriage becomes a battlefield. You can never trust someone who chooses silence to hurt you.
4. Bitterness and resentment
Because issues are never resolved, bitterness accumulates. And once bitterness settles, it becomes nearly impossible to rebuild intimacy.
5. Infidelity risks
It may not be intentional, but when someone feels unheard and unloved long enough, they become vulnerable to the voice of attention elsewhere.
6. Emotional divorce before physical divorce
Most marriages end twice:
First emotionally.
Then physically.
Malice ensures the emotional death happens first.
WHY SOME PEOPLE KEEP MALICE
People keep malice for different reasons:
⢠A need for control
⢠Immaturity
⢠Poor communication skills
⢠Pride
⢠Background conditioning
⢠Lack of emotional intelligence
⢠Learned behavior from parents
But none of these excuses justify using silence as punishment.
If you love someone, you do not watch them cry in silence because you are trying to âwin.â
Marriage is not war.
Your spouse is not your opponent.
THE SCAR ON A PREGNANT WOMAN
A pregnant woman is emotionally sensitive, physically vulnerable, and mentally stretched. For her husband to keep malice with her during pregnancy is more than crueltyâit is negligence.
The lack of concern.
The refusal to check on her.
The absence of empathy.
The inability to care where she took their child.
This is not just malice; this is emotional abandonment.
A woman who goes through pregnancy aloneâeven while marriedânever forgets it. The wound becomes a memory that refuses to heal.
WHERE MALICE HIDES
Malice is not always dramatic. Sometimes it shows up like this:
⢠âNothing.â (When something is clearly wrong)
⢠Short responses
⢠Emotional withdrawal
⢠Avoiding eye contact
⢠Pretending to be âbusyâ
⢠Sleeping in a separate room
⢠Ignoring calls or messages
⢠Using the children to communicate
These are not small things. These are cracks that eventually become walls.
WHY MALICE BREAKS WOMEN FASTER
A womanâs emotional world is tied to communication, reassurance, and connection. When silence replaces communication, she feels:
⢠Unseen
⢠Unwanted
⢠Unvalued
⢠Unsupported
⢠Disrespected
A woman can endure hardship, poverty, even mistakes from her husbandâbut emotional coldness is the one thing many cannot survive.
When she said, âI just packed my bags and left,â understand that she had endured long enough. And when she said, âThere was no please come back,â understand that the marriage had ended long before she walked out.
THE CORE IDEA: MALICE IS ABUSE
Malice is emotional abuse. It may not leave visible scars, but it leaves deep emotional fractures. A marriage cannot breathe where silence is used as punishment. Communication is the oxygen of love. Once you take oxygen away, everything suffocates.
You cannot build a future with someone who denies you access to their heart.
You cannot build intimacy with someone who weaponizes silence.
You cannot build a home with someone who listens only to their pride.
Malice is not strength.
It is not masculinity.
It is not self-control.
Malice is cowardice. It is immaturity. It is emotional laziness. It is the refusal to confront problems with honesty and vulnerability.
ADVICE FOR COUPLES
Every couple must understand this:
Marriage is a communication-based institution. Once communication collapses, everything collapses.
Here are practical ways to avoid malice and rebuild intimacy:
1. Talk even when itâs uncomfortable
Silence solves nothing. Speak. Express. Explain. Clarify. Marriage grows through honest conversation.
2. Never go to bed angry
This is not a Bible verse for decoration. It is a survival strategy. Resolve issues before they grow roots overnight.
3. Donât use silence as punishment
If you need space, say it clearly: âI need one hour to calm down. Iâm not shutting you out. I just need a moment.â
4. Create a weekly emotional check-in
Sit down and ask:
âHow are we doing?â
âWhat hurt you this week?â
âWhat made you feel loved?â
âWhat do we need to fix?â
5. Learn emotional intelligence
Not everything is an attack. Sometimes your spouse is hurting, not fighting you.
6. Seek counseling early
Donât wait until the marriage reaches crisis level. Counseling is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of wisdom.
7. Choose your spouse over your pride
Marriage is a daily decision to value love over ego. Pride has ended more marriages than poverty ever will.
8. Communicate care, not just words
Check on your spouse. Ask about their day. Show concern. Care is not expensive.
9. Apologize when you are wrong
A simple âIâm sorryâ has saved more marriages than long sermons.
10. Understand your spouseâs emotional language
Some need reassurance.
Some need attention.
Some need presence.
Some need words.
Love them the way they understand love.
A FINAL WORD
Many divorces are not caused by dramatic events. They are caused by small neglects repeated over a long period. Yvonneâs story is a warning: marriages do not fall; they fade. They do not collapse overnight; they erode. Silence is one of the most dangerous erosions.
A partner who keeps malice today will keep distance tomorrow and may keep divorce papers next year. No marriage can survive emotional starvation. No love can survive prolonged silence. No home can thrive where communication is replaced with punishment.
If you want your marriage to last, fight your pride, not your spouse.
Solve the issue, not each other.
Speak your truth, but donât use silence as a weapon.
Because in marriage, silence is not goldenâsilence is deadly.
COPIED!!!!
