Sandeerah Heart of Care (2025)

16/10/2023

6 KEYS TO A GREAT RELATIONSHIP...

1. FRIENDSHIP:
Try to be your spouse best friend. No matter what happens, be a friend first, and a lover later.

2. TRUST:
The key element to any relationship is trust, so before starting this beautiful journey with your spouse, learn to trust in all circumstances.

3. UNDERSTANDING:
Try to figure out each other and work out on your differences. There are going to be many differences, but it’s mutual compromise and sacrifice which makes this relationship beautiful.

4. COMMUNICATION:
Try to talk and convey your message to your spouse. Let your spouse know about how good/bad your day was along with reminding them how you feel for them.

5. HONESTY:
Always speak the truth, never lie or hide things in fear that your spouse won’t understand.Give your spouse a chance to understand you.

6. FREEDOM:
Give your spouse space and freedom to decide for themselves. Don’t take away the personal time of your spouse. Allow them have time of their own .

Sandeerah Heart of Care

26/08/2023

Thank you all for the likes and comments, am encouraged.
It's time for giveaway 🌹🍷🍾🥫🍬

Comment and share any of my writeup/post that you loved most

Once am notified about your comment and share, I will inbox you..😃

26/08/2023

5 MATURITIES TO ATTAIN BEFORE MARRIAGE

Maturity is one of the principal requirements as far preparing for marriage is concerned because marriage is not for babies, it's for the matured.

By definition, maturity is a state of being mature, ripe and fully developed. So, it's important that you attain these maturities before you marry.

1. Physical Maturity
It's important you attain this maturity before marriage. Physical maturity has to do with bodily maturity and development. Even in some countries, you will not be allowed to vote and do some certain things until you reach a certain age. We frown at child marriage, why? Because those children are not matured for it.

So, take your time and grow. Be physically mature. Grow up, allow your body to be fully developed.

2. Spiritual Maturity
You have heard it before that spiritual controls the physical, that's true. Marriage has its spiritual dimension. One of the reasons why most marriages fail is because they lack divine covering.

A godly and happy marriage is a threat to the devil, he does everything within his power to end such marriage. Don't be careless about your spiritual life. Be committed to it, give it attention, be a true child of God. Be matured in spiritual matters. Don't be a baby. Be a student of the Bible, be prayerful, have a relationship with God.

3. Emotional Maturity
I have read stories how some men brutally beat, punched and stabbed and matched their wives to untimely death. I have also read how some women stabbed their husbands in their sleeps to their death. I have read how some jealous partners pour acid on their partners. Most of all these incidents can be attributed to inability to handle emotions.

Emotions can mar or make a marriage, it can make your marriage heaven or hell on earth, so it's important you learn how to manage them. Read books on emotional intelligence, anger management, attitude etc.

4. Mental Maturity
Our words and actions reveal the quality of our mental state. We you talk or act, you are showing us whether you are a baby or an adult. How mature you are mentally will determine the quality of your decisions and choices.

So, it's important to be matured mentally because marriage will task you mentally, you will make choices and decisions that will either be toxic or healthy for your marriage. Read books, seek for counseling, listen to tapes, expand your mental capacity, have mentors etc.

5. Financial Maturity
Financial maturity has to do with being financially free and independent, being able to take care of your bills without depending on others, being gainfully employed and empowered etc.

Marriage carries financial responsibilities, don't make mistake about it. Even to get married you need money, to stay happily married, you need money. Money pays bills, not love. So, be financially matured. Learn a trade, learn a skill, have a steady stream of income. Make sure you are employed before marriage. Make investments that can make you money even when you are not working.

Conclusively, in all you do make sure you are matured, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially etc. Maturity is non-negotiable, non-transferable preparation you must attain if godly, healthy and successful marriage is your desire.

For Counseling and Therapy
Call/Whataspp 08063507837
Sandeerah Heart of Care

11/08/2023

Hello Fam....

Let's have a little discussion

IS IT A SIN?

A Christian sister got pregnant and the Church decided to discipline her since she was not married.

When the elders of the Church met and interviewed her, she told them that she has stayed and remained in the Church for several years and no one is marrying her and she is approaching the age of menopause where she can't get pregnant even if married.

So after reading some Christian medical journals on this issues, she decided and did artificial insemination since she too wants a child. She tendered both the medical journals and the medical documents that showed that she has done the artificial insemination from a reputable hospital.

The Sister is pregnant without committing fornication nor adultery with any man.

NOW, COULD THIS BE A SIN?

Kindly give your reasons for your answer and if possible back it with Scripture, so that we can learn.

What's your position?🤔

07/03/2023

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU SHOULD MARRY HIM/HER

This topic is about people who are possibly in relationship or about to get married.
Marriage is a beautiful and good thing. And for you to be in a good relationship or marriage, both of you has to be good

It takes good eggs to make a good omelet. No matter how good you are as a person, if you don't marry a good person or the right person or a godly person, you ll struggle and suffer in the marriage

People say marriage is a scam, it's not , it is the quality of the people in marriage that determines the marriage. That's why it's important to take time to learn about marriage....Therefore, it is where you invest , you harvest, where you put in work , you get rewarded

Today I will be telling you about *Three* things that should make you know if you are in the right relationship for marriage... They are the

1. Is it a Worship to God? --I know most times question people ask in relationship is , can she marry me ? does he loves me ? No , the question you should ask is, does it bring worship or reverence to God?
If you are in a relationship and it's not making you a better person? If that relationship doesn't make you a better Christian,then you can't move such relationship to marriage , if anything less than this ,you have to end the relationship. ..That is why picking the right partner is very important. Your relationship/ marriage must have a higher purpose than just two of you.. if it's just about he's a fine guy, am a fine girl, we ll have fine children, then it a lie, it has to be on God's purpose. All these are just benefits of what God will do in your life.

That's why every family must have a vision and mission together. Read ROM. 12. Your relationship/ marriage has to be an offering to God

Therefore, if the relationship is reducing your divinity, gather your courage and walk out. If he /she make you disobey God, or make you sin , gather your courage and walkway.

2. Make sure it is Workin- Courtship to marriage is a rehearsal of marriage without s*x... Marriage does not change anybody, it only amplifies what is already existing in someone's life.

If a guy is cheating on you now, he ll do more in marriage, if he's beating or threatening to beat you, he ll do more in marriage, if he's stingy now in marriage, he ll be stingier 😃.... A lizard before marriage does not become crocodile in marriage, it only becomes a married lizard. Likewise if a lady is disrespectful in courtship, she ll do more in marriage bcos she feels she has won the battle from other girls ... So marriage doesn't change anyone.... Whatever is not working now, will not work in marriage. And so many people just want to marry, despite that it's not working, they just wanted to bear a Mrs or Husband..... Pls make sure he/she is practicing his roles as a wife or husband to- be.... Make sure you are meeting each other's needs ( not s*xual needs pls ) , make sure you are both friends and compatible . You're communicating, you are intimacy and planning together.

Ladies,If you are in relationship with someone you cant respect, please don't marry the person , and guys if you're in a relationship with someone you don't love or you can't sacrifice for, please don't marry her . Read Ephesians 5:33.

3. Make sure that its Worth it. -- If you are in a relationship that you are worse than when you are alone, then it's not worth it. The Bible says ." The two are better than one, cos they ll eat the fruit of their labour" .... Don't be in relationship just to change your name.

Relationship should not be at the detriment of one person, marriage is not for one person but for two people .... If after meeting that person and nothing has changed about your life, it's not worth going into marriage with . You shouldn't be the only one always making sacrifices for the relationship, both of you have to work to make it worth it.

Written by......
Sandra Amieye Sagbe
Sandeerah Heart of Care
Relationship/Marriage Analyst

22/02/2023

🔞 KONJI (s*xual urge) VS BELIEVERS!
(I CAN NEITHER HAVE S*X NOR MA******TE, WHAT DO I DO?)

This is strictly for the marriageable believers not those school kids who's purity has been defiled by the moral decadence of the present generation who ought to go through thorough reformation and s*x education.

Over time even till the present moment, S*X in its context isn't mentioned in our Christian gathering and everyone does spiri koko when it's been named.

Meanwhile, the believers are engaging in fornication and pre-marital s*x, having illicit s*x with partners they aren't married to and many are committing adultery, having illicit s*x with someone else outside their married partners.

Ofcause, it's isn't so mentioned nor emphasised in our church gatherings and even the believers becomes more culprit and guilty of the sin we actually preach of.

Now, we have to agree the fire of "KONJI" burns in the loins of ALL AND SUNDRY. Even the most spiritual and spiri koko, Pastor, Apostle or even Reverend Fathers and Nuns also burns, in as much such person has reached puberty and is s*xually okay.

To cut to the chase, the believer cannot and isn't allowed to have s*x when not married to a partner no matter the excuse given neither is such believer allowed to master ma******te, watch pornographic images or videos or commit any s*xual immorality (virgin or not).

Virginity isn't a factor. Once a believer, we stand under the same code of the word of God to be chaste.
Now, the loins burns in all and ofcause can be quite disturbing. What does the believer needs to do?

1) MARRY: 1 Corithians 7:2,8 and 9
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

2) CONSECRATION: Romans 12:1 and 2
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and
perfect, will of God.

The Believers are to wholly give themselves to prayers and uphold the word of God which is able to strengthen the believer through temptations.

Many are Falling and rising, and for many outright backsliding without guilt due to s*xual immorality.

Many who who falls into this sins do so into continuous guilt and sadness. While, many believers spend time crying childlikely.

It is noteworthy that crying isn't the bases for forgiveness or mercy from God, for that we have gotten already through Christ Jesus.

Hence, ACTS 17:30 And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent:

Truly, this discussion is relative and differs to everyone. Yet we must always remember that no matter our excuses and whatever debate or defense to go against the word of God to commit fornication and adultery, it remains a SIN.

Always speak to a more spiritual person for check, put in for more discipline, watch what to eat and drink and above all LOVE God.

NO S*X BEFORE MARRIAGE! Don't debate it. If you are weak, ask for help instead of using scope to SIN.

All those Iyawo Pablo and Iyawo Richie and even the Pablos and Richies doing couples in schools and institutions born from a Christian home should always remember God loves them all and waits upon them to repent.

Bodily and physically speaking, upholding this will save believers from STIs, STDs, unwanted pregnancies, emotional traumas, several body counts amongst others.

This isn't a debate. If you want to debate this, go to Iya Basira buka, order for amala, roundabout, towel intestines, coke and argue with your likes there.😃

May God give us strength and help us. Amen

FOR MORE COUNCELLING
CALL: 07036969616
SANDRA AMIEYE SAGBE
Sandeerah Heart of Care
Relationship/Marriage Analyst

21/10/2022

*mportance of Magic Words in Any Relationship

In recent time, one of the causes of issues in relationship/marriage is wrong attitudes. Wrong attitudes in aspect of words, actions and reactions.

Today I will be talking about wrong attitudes of words. Words are so powerful, it can heal, comfort and softened ones heart ,it can also kill and destroy. Right use of words in relationship/ marriage can save lots of issues that could be stressed into quarrel or argument.

Magic Words is the act of speaking softly and using polite words is a quality that is appreciated by all, especially when we deliberately do it, everybody is pleased and appreciative of us. This social acceptance is as much important for the psychological and emotional development of an individual.
Part of polite speech is the ‘magic words’ or the ‘golden words’ that we all must learn, and use always .

Significance of The Magic Words

Words have a lot of power in establishing goodwill and ourselves as well-meaning individuals in any social setting. If you have ever observed the most popular or the most liked or the most charismatic people in your lives, they are quite excellent in their use of language and words. The magic words such as *Thank You*, *Please*, *May I*, *Excuse me*,*Am Sorry* can put an instant smile on anyone’s face.

These words build a positive perception of you in the mid of the other person, making them respect you, value you and love you more When children use these words they are liked by everyone and are invited to engage in social activities. It increases their socialization and builds their interpersonal skills which are absolutely essential for their growth and development into healthy respected adults, and supposed to continue with using it in relationship/marriage.

The golden words also elicit a positive response from the other person which would result in a better conversation or interaction over-all.

Here are the five essential magic words for us to learn and use 👇
1. Thank You
Thank you is the word we need to say to express gratitude towards generosity and any help we received from others by solicited or not. By saying this word to people, in social situations builds the importance of this word in their minds where they learn that thanks you is how they express their gratitude.
Saying thank you also helps us or any relationship grow into humble status without a mentality of entitlement. " Thank you" is also a word that those in any kinds of relationship should say even when they are paying for the services they receive.
It is a productive habit to learn to be thankful for all the good things and people they have in their life on a daily basis.

2. Am Sorry
"Am sorry" is different from "sorry". When "am sorry" is used ,it shows your humility and being remorsful to the offence committed, while saying "sorry" is being sympathetic to a situation or acts of being unsubmissive to admit your wrongs.
Everyone inevitably makes mistakes and often unintended and needs to be conscious to take responsibility for their actions and say sorry when they hurt or offend someone. An honest apology invites forgiveness and peace into most relationships, marriages or situations and made us have to understand that saying sorry isn’t a sign of weakness but a display of their responsibility. Owning up to our deed whether it is good or bad shows our strength of character and a habit of apologizing by saying sorry when they are at fault will help gain value and trust in social circles.

3. Excuse Me
From childhood we we are set out as the center of attention in our families and wherever we go. As we get older we begin to realize that the world doesn’t revolve around ourselves only, and people can get offended if we interrupt or demand attention to ourselves all the time.
While it slowly dawns on us that the world is much bigger and we have to wait our turn for everything, learning to use the word excuse me is one way to set us on theory course towards politeness. The word gains more importance when we empathize with others and understand that being interrupted is just as annoying thing for others as it is for us.
Excuse me should instead of unhealthy interruption to any discussion.

4. May I
‘May I’ is a term similar to ‘excuse me’ and seeks permission for undertaking a task or to interrupt. As adults, using the words ‘may I’ builds the habit of respecting one another and the authority. ‘May I’ is also a polite way to ask for something or become a part of an activity without coming across as rude and intrusive.
The words instil a sense of responsibility in us to respect the privacy of others or even seek permission for activities we are not expected to perform.
May I, has saved lots of wrong steps in relationship, which could have leads to seperation

5. Please (very important)
Learning how to make a request is one of the fundamental skills we need to develop. From childhood ,this acts is supposed to be inculcated in us till growing older so as to learn how to request for what we want with the word "please". ‘Please’ should become essential in the vocabulary of every one in any relationship s. Requesting by saying please is also a good lesson in instilling humility in us.
Asking for favour, services or help needs to be afronted with the word "please" it also a sign of valuing the person and also being romantic

Written by Sandra Amieye Sagbe aka Sandeerah
Founder Sandeerah Heart of Care
(A relationship/marriage analyst)

11/10/2022

Most Important Steps To Take Before Proposing Marriage To A Lady

As we all know that marriage is an institution ordained by God and he hate to put-away, 80% of marriages that crashed is due to *Lack of knowledge*, they don't have any understanding and knowledge of the steps to take before going into marriage .

By God's inspiration today, here are the steps to take ;

1. Spiritual step: You may ask why spiritual ,why not physical? I assumed you have both met and seen each other or being in relationship already, but proposing to marry such person,this step is top notch that's why it's number 1.

Talking about spiritual step means praying to God for directions about the lady (not after having s*xual activities), asking God about the person and His Will and purpose for you about the person. Most marriages have hit the rock becos they don't ask God for directions, they allow flash to direct them and leads then to wrong partner, thereafter having issues in marriage.
Asking God about directions entails fasting, praying and patiently waiting to hear from God about what you have asked for. Note: Most times God don't answer immediately ( That's why He's never too late or early) He does as He pleases.
God will speak to you in any of the following ways; dream, vision from Prophet/ess, peace of mind, still voice and through His word The Bible.

2. Financial step: This means knowing and be sure that your intending partner is doing something. It could be job or business but it has to be legitimate. Most marriages hit the rock becos of lack of money, which can lead to a man being frustrated and angry and that can make him beat his wife, also could make a woman cheat in other to bring food home. Knowing financial capacity of your intending partner is being confident that their is an alternative or backup for running the family. No marriage is sweet without money, money run most things in the house. ' I love you too" from a lady, should means "I can help you" So guys pls take this step very important

3. Parental Acceptance step: Ladies are always victims of this aspect. Guys pls make sure that your parent accept your lady *wholeheartedly* before proposing marriage to her. Refusal from either of the parents has caused lots of divorce. When any of ur parent says no, pls wait for their approval,if you rebel they may not say anything but frustrate the marriage underground. It could make you never see good in your woman or turn your woman against you to acts wrongly for you both of you to fight. This step should be taken with cautions and prayers to have a free sailing married life

4.Medical step: Guys do all you can to know your partner basic medical status before proposing. Some of the basic medical status are HIV/AID, BLOOD GROUP, GENOTYPE, AND BLOOD PRESSURE TEST.
Note that none of these test is difficult to cure by God but don't be ignorant. Especially on the aspect of Blood group, most couple found their selves being AS-AS after having a child or two children. Which could traumatize them and make them spend money managing those children, and by this anger may set in or possible agreement between to divorce in other to avoid the situation.
In the aspect of the lady having BP history, this can be monitored when pregnant and during delivery.Most men have seperated from there wives when they can't continue managing such couple.
Pls take this step wisely

Written by. Sandra Amieye Sagbe
Founder Sandeerah Heart of Care
(Relationship, Marriage,and Health Analyst)

23/07/2022

An Open Letter To All Single Mothers

Dear single mothers,

I really don't know what led to you being a single mother and I don't want to know.
At this point, it's bit really important.
All I want to let you know is, stop any feeling that is tied to desperation for marriage. It is okay if the society that you belong to assess the value of a woman with marriage. It is okay if some members of the society see you as a second class citizen. It is also okay if they feel you are incomplete as a single mother.

However, what is not okay is allowing what some members of the society think to affect your life negatively. You cannot control how people will think about you but you can control how to live your lives and react to what people think about you.
No doubt, marriage is good but it does not in any way complete you as a woman, if other things that will make such completeness possible are missing in your life. STOP thinking and feeling that without making out with a man you will die. STOP feeling and thinking that without marriage you cannot live your life to the fullest. I hate it when most ladies feel without marriage they are 'finished' and incomplete. Snap out of that narrative.

Being a single mother is not a first class ticket to living a wayward life. Being a single mother is not a yardstick to have self pity about your life. Being a single mother is not an avenue to allow anything on trouser to deceive you because they present the issue of marriage to the table. You are the reason why most men would come into your life, deceive you and dump you later because you gave them reason to treat you that way. If you live your life independently without any desperation for a man or marriage, no man would have the chance to mess your life up.

Maybe it was your fault or not that you are a single mother but none of that matters any more. Let go of any self pity and regrets that you may be having now and fix your life. We can't change the past but we can correct the mistakes of the past 'today' by doing the right thing.

See yourself valuable without a man.

Do things that can make you happy(it is not the presence of a man per se that gives happiness. You can go and ask the women filing for divorce).

Try as much as you can to be independent financially.

Get into a trade, business or anything that can help build you and boost your worth and value.

Don't hate your child(ren) nor lay your frustration on your child(ren). It was not their fault. If a child has the power to choose their parents, they would have chosen a different parent.

When all the right things are in place, the presence of a man in your life will be a bonus and not a necessity.

12/07/2022

JUST A REMINDER
Every relationship or marriage has an immature partner. It's very rare to find a relationship or marriage that has two equally mature people. There's always a partner in that relationship or marriage who's immature.

That's the one who is quick to get angry, who doesn't apologize easily, who acts before thinking, who feels entitled to everything, who thinks they are doing their partner a favour, who thinks if the relationship ends they'd meet a better person. It could be the man or the woman.

The immature partner always feels like he or she deserves what he or she has or even better. This feeling could come because he is handsome or because she's beautiful, or because he or she is intelligent, or because he or she has potential, or because he or she has vision, or because of sheer arrogance and pride.

The immature partner is intelligent but doesn't have enough common sense. He or she might be attractive but lacks good sense of judgment. He or she is outspoken but proud. That immature person is the one who always threatens to leave a relationship, because he or she feels there's always a better person out there waiting for him or her.

But one thing these people don't understand is that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Some of them discovered this when it was already too late. But because they have a partner who serves as the shockabsorber, they think the world belongs to them. Because the mature partner overlooks their excesses, you'd think they are mature.

It is the mature partner that keeps the relationship or marriage together and going. It's because of the mature person that the relationship is beautiful. Take a moment and reflect: are you the immature person in your relationship? If you are, be grateful that you have someone who overlooks your excesses. You have no idea what you have yet.

Good day my people!!

Let's talk about Relationship,Marriage, and Health

11/07/2022

The best gift you can give yourself and your unborn children is the kind of person you marry.

Port Harcourt City youths come let's talk about the characteristics of the person you should marry

Sandeerah Heart of Care

16/10/2023

26/08/2023

26/08/2023

11/08/2023

07/03/2023

22/02/2023

21/10/2022

11/10/2022

23/07/2022

12/07/2022

11/07/2022

Address

Telephone

Website

Alerts

Contact The Practice

Shortcuts

Share