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Imperfect I'mperfect

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Imperfect I'mperfect

Laat je niet meer beperken door wat anderen van je denken! Versterk je zelfbeeld en krijg betere resultaten

16/07/2025

Therapy is not for you.

Because you are strong. Because you are doing okay-ish. And because other people’s problems are bigger than yours. And most of all: you are not crazy or damaged.

So you have decided to keep going. To be brave, cry when no one is watching. Or just escape in pleasure, work, relationships or substances so as not to feel what is missing.

And that is going really well. You think.

Because somewhere inside, you know that you are not being totally honest to yourself. Deep down, you know you are repeating what you were missing in your childhood: by not listening to yourself you are still not being seen fully. You are not being acknowledged and you continue to let that little child in you strive on their own.

And the pressure of outside success becomes bigger and bigger, to compensate for the loneliness and sense of unworthiness that you are feeling inside.

Because you are afraid of that will happen if you stop. That everything will fall apart. That you will never be able to stop crying. Or that you have no idea of what it is that you actually want. So it’s easier to keep going. Running from this fear of not being good enough. Not being loveable.

Starting therapy takes courage. Both for the patient and for the therapist. Because first there is the breaking down the walls, being vulnerable enough and trusting enough to let somebody in. Because you have been let down and disappointed so many times.

But when you do, that’s where the real magic begins: that’s when I get to perform my miracle surgery of mending the pieces of your broken heart. Because it is BS that time will heal all wounds. It won’t. You just learn to deal with it better.

Truly repairing the wounds, and even Upgrading the operating systems. Replacing the software that was put in there when you were a child and putting in cutting edge techniques will give you the best second half of your life.

When will you start?

14/07/2025

Have you ever heard of High Functioning Depression? It sounds a bit weird, right?

Because, the classic idea of depression is to not be able to work, not get out of bed, and maybe even being suicidal. Not finding joy in anything you do. And yes, that is a very serious disease that needs serious treatment.

But what if it stays hidden between busy schedules and staying busy? We see more and more people in my practice who are just not happy enough. Who feel tired when they wake up, feel continuously irritated or guilty. Who are still delivering but don’t enjoy it anymore. Who operate on willpower.

They just stop being excited about things.

Stress is the biggest enemy in the process. Espcecially chronic stress.

The good news? It’s fairly easy to beat. By yourself. By doing some lifestyle interventions.

I can take you through these in my practice. Or give a lecture about it for your team or company. In case you decide to once and for all do things differently after you return from your summer break. Or when you don’t recharge enough or at all during your summer break.

Contact or of .academy ® to book me for your next event.

24/06/2025

This is me. Two years ago. On the 23rd of June, the night of San Juan. The tradition (which is originally Catalan) at San Juan is to go to the beach and celebrate the light with a group of friends and share a picnic and light. At midnight, you dip into the water, after having proclaimed what you are leaving behind and what you are stepping into in the new year.
At that time, two years ago, I felt miserable and lonely. I saw all these people on the beach, with their families or groups of friends, surrounded by light. And I walked down the boulevard feeling lonely, insignificant, unseen and really sad.
But also determined to change that situation. There and then, I adopted the mantra “I haven’t yet met all the people that I’m going to love”. It helped me through some tough times.
And now fast forward to yesterday. San Juan again. I found myself sitting on that same beach, feeling so blessed, rich and fortunate. Now I was one of those people sitting in a group, sharing food, wine and laughter.
When I look at the pictures that were taken last night, I see that the sad and hollow look in my eyes is gone. The smile on my face has been replaced by a heartfelt one and I feel so happy, grounded, calm, blessed, and grateful.
Little did I know at that time, that my mantra was so true. I did find new people. I am very blessed with a lot of lovely people in my life. I have loved a lot and I have been loved.
Over the past year, most of them stayed. Some left. But also, a whole new group entered. I met new people that I was going to love. In fact, all the people I was with yesterday, I didn’t know two years ago.
So, what I’m trying to say is: if you are out there, feeling lonely and sad: trust that there will be new, good things on the way. Trust that you will love and be loved again. Maybe not in the way you expect, and not by the people you expect.

Prioritise being happy. Prioritise doing nice things. Prioritise treating yourself like the Love of your Life. Then you will attract likeminded people and other circumstances. Of that, I am convinced. ♥️

21/06/2025

Six years ago today I published my book. What a milestone. It’s on many a bucketlist. And was it cool? Yes. Did I feel proud? Yes. Did it make me feel happier? I’m not sure.

I believe there are two things being happy WITH your life. And being happy IN your life.

The first one is about achieving the big things you want. The job. The love. The life goals.

Being happy IN your life is about the daily thing. It is about making sure you do the little things that give you fulfilment.

Sure, the Big things make sure you feel proud. And the small things make you feel happy. Together they make you feel grateful.

So today, I feel happy and grateful for this big milestone and the small things in day to day life. The sunsets, the connections, the good quality.

♥️

13/02/2025

.academy have launched their annual magazine, featuring their most estimated Key Note Speakers. And I am honoured and pleased that they count me as one of them.

In the 2025 Magazine, they have included an article in which I explain how to better deal with stress. And moreover: how to be happier in life in general.
Because this,I believe, is the essence of our being. And in these stressful times, it is not a matter of fighting stress, but merely, how to better deal with it and let it work in your advantage.

Do you want to increase your happiness? Or do you want to better manage the stress levels of your team or in your company? Then this entertaining lecture might be for you!

Are you interested in a workshop or (tailor-made) keynote lecture? Then please follow the link in bio to see what is on offer.

07/01/2025

THE ELEVATE THEORY

As most of you know, I don’t do new year’s resolutions. For the simple reason that i do not believe they work. Research shows that most people do the first three weeks on willpower and then fall back into their old behaviour, with only one more disappointment about themselves to add to the list.

I do however believe in building strong habits. Habits that you can easily do and that you actually enjoy. For me one of them is hiking. Research also shows that hiking is not only good for your physical health, it also boosts your mental health.

In the past few months, for a number of reasons, I didn’t get around to my daily hike. Whereas (and i have the pictures to prove it), it live in hiking paradise. So i gave myself a good old kick in the but, and since december 27th I have been putting in at least 10k steps per day.

and i am loving it: i combine it with listening to podcasts of all kinds of cool doctors, neuroscientists and psychologists (DM me for tips!), but I also do mindful walks, meditations in nature and come up with a lot of great ideas on things that i feel stuck in.

Because that is what happens when you walk: you also set your brain in motion. The two hemispheres work together better and thus this is the best way to get unstuck.

Within my Upgrade Programme, i call this the “elevate theory”: it is all about elevating your happiness levels within your daily life, without making radical changes. Just elevating your mood, your outlook in life, by tweaking your mind, doing more of the things you love.

Because you know: you won’t become happy because you get the things you want; you get the things you want because you are happing.

This is the difference between being happy IN your life and being happy WITH your life.

So are you with me in making 2025 your happiest year yet?

09/12/2024

You are doing everything right: you know what you want, you repeat your affirmations, you are visualising your dream outcome…

And still: your Upgrade isn’t coming. The abundance that you wish for in love, finance, work or health is not there yet.

So, you start to wonder if this is for you. If this whole manifestation thing is working to begin with. Or maybe the old story in your head is true and this is just not meant for you…

That is nonsense of course. You can get everything you want. Everything.

But there might be a few sabotaging behaviours that you aren’t aware of why things aren’t coming your way yet with ease and playfulness.

And we can change that!

Please join me for my FREE webinar, every second Sunday of the month (from 12 noon till 1pm CET) to see what this behaviour is, and how to stop it.

So that not only you can silence that little stubborn voice in your head, once and for all, but also start to welcoming the life that you want for yourself.

Send me a DM to register, or comment under this message.

28/11/2024

It may sound counterintuitive, but upgrading your life starts with being fully grateful and happy for what you have.

This is what I like about autumn. It is the season of harvesting, of gathering and sharing. Of looking at what you already have. How far you have come. Rejoicing over the journey.

So today, what are you grateful for? please share in comments.

04/11/2024

For me, my life changed drastically when I decided not to ‘allow’ anything into my life that scored below an 8.5 on a scale of 1 to 10. Nothing.

I started this experiment with food and drink, but it quickly extended to the clients I took on, how I decorated my home, the type of clothing I bought, where I went on vacation, and how I spent my free time.

Eventually, even the big life themes couldn’t escape scrutiny: What do I still want to accomplish in the 35 years (I think) I have left? Am I optimally happy in my romantic relationship? Am I sufficiently satisfied with my financial situation?

So, yes, things and people left my life. But the quality increased tremendously.

You are the author and the director of your Upgrade. You do not even have to have a big idea on what it is that you want in the future. By just adopting this way of living, you will see that your life will organically upgrade.

And you do want something bigger? then, step into the Upgrade programme if you feel it is time.

02/11/2024

Let’s assume you want to Upgrade your life. I mean, of course you have a good life. But you want a great one.

And that takes courage. It takes a lot of guts to say that out loud. Because, after all, you have a lot. But also, here is something missing. You have the feeling there is more there out there for you.

Well, let’s make 2025 your best year yet. Let’s devote your time and energy to Upgrading your life.

And therefore, the first thing we need to do is to stop the things that are not serving you any longer. Say goodbye to the energy drains, the unsuccessful efforts and the things you no longer want.

So, will you join me to take an honest look into your own life and get rid of that what is withholding you from upgrading your life.

Join me for NOvember. Leave a comment to commit to what you are quitting.

30/09/2024

I got angrier and angrier. You know, this is a process that you hardly notice. Nothing really big happened. The picture looked perfect. But it wasn’t.

So, i didn’t feel happy enough. And I wanted to. I wanted to feel happy. I wanted more. But I didn’t see which button to push to make it happen.

I started to work harder, started to resent other people, started to feel sorry for myself, and started to get angrier. Which in turn lead to me working even harder, feeling more entitled and more disconnected…. I was in a downward spiral.

Until the point that I couldn’t even access the beauty and joy that was surrounding me.

And then I realised, it wasn’t the world who needed to make me happy. It wasn’t my husband’s, my kids’ or my friends’ job to acknowledge me. To see me and to love me.

It was mine.

And that was the biggest shift. This radical honesty. To confess to myself that I had been looking in the wrong direction the whole time. All along.

So, I changed. Started to invest in myself. Started to look in the mirror. Asking myself what I wanted and needed, instead of taking care of those around me, hoping they would give me some affection and appreciation in return.

Quitting things, starting new ones. Closing. Opening.

Was it an easy process? No. But boy was it worth it, even though it was scary and lonely at times.

But I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Are you ready to be the happiest ever version of you? I’ll gladly walk with you and guide you through the process.

Send me a DM for more info on The Upgrade Programme, so that you can become happier in Love, Finance, Body & Mind and Carreer.

25/09/2024

There is a simple set of rules that i live by. Both towards myself and in relationships.

They are simple guidelines for me. Whenever I am hurt, these three always help me back to seeing where things derailed:

1. Love needs action
2. ⁠Trust needs proof
3. ⁠Sorry needs change

If you want something: go for it. Put effort into it. The same goes for the Object of your Affection. Are they really into you? Then they will make the effort

Turn a new way in your life: you need to see evidence to continue it. And the same goes for your partner.

And not happy with how your life is? Change your behaviour! Or ask your partner to change theirs after you question some basic things in your relationship.

So:Three Golden Rules.

They always tell me what needs to change whenever I am not happy.

Adres

Sint Jorisstraat 5a
'S-Hertogenbosch
5211HA

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