16/01/2026
Listen up my friends, when I was your age, (honey, that was when black and white TV went to static at midnight!!) I said yes to everything!
Yes to the wrong man, yes to staying silent at family dinners while the men talked.
Yes to bosses who paid me half what they paid Steve who couldn’t lift the same heavy pork slabs as me at the meat packing plant. Girl… Mmmm Hmmm!
Yes to keeping my mouth shut when I should’ve been screaming!
I thought that’s what good women did. Turns out, I was just really good at being a doormat with a nice smile.
I made mistakes you’ll probably make too. I loved people who treated me like garbage, stayed in situations that would’ve made a therapist rich, I once apologized for breathing too loud!
I worked myself to the bone for people who wouldn’t spit on me if I was on fire. But hey, at least they said I had a “great attitude!”
I spent too much time terrified on the inside while looking like I had it together on the outside.
meanwhile I’m having a internal panic attack in the sugar aisle of the grocery store.
Then one day...I don’t know if it was divine intervention, another black eye, or I just ran out of patience… but, I chose myself.
No, you don’t understand. I didn’t just “think” about it. I didn’t journal about it or make a vision board. I actually looked in the mirror and said “you’re worth more than this garbage” and I MEANT it.
I set standards and I said no, which apparently was a FOREIGN CONCEPT to everyone around me.
I walked my cute little butt RIGHT out the door.
Did I feel cute then? Absolutely not. I felt like the hot mess express. But looking back now? Oh honey, the AUDACITY! I should’ve had sooner!
Oh, but suddenly, I had new names, I was:
Difficult. (Translation: I have opinions now.)
Cold. (Translation: I stopped pretending to like your 45 seconds of grunting and slobbering.)
Selfish. (Translation: I occasionally do things for myself.) And my personal favorite… bitch.
Let me tell you what that word REALLY means when they slap it on a woman who’s found her spine:
(B)oundaries that can’t be moved. Sorry, I don’t accept collect calls from emotional vampires anymore darling.
(I)ndependent thought. Shockingly, I have a brain and I use it.
(T)ruth over comfort. I am done pretending your bad behavior is my fault.
(C)ourage to stand alone. Turns out my own company is DELIGHTFUL.
(H)onesty they can’t handle. The truth hurts, but lies hurt more, buttercup.
Honey, when they call me that now? I say “thank you for noticing!”
Yes, I lost people and my circle got smaller. You know what else got smaller? The knot in my stomach every morning and the fake smile I had to practice in the mirror.
The ones who stayed? Absolute treasures. The peace I have now? You can’t buy it on Rodeo Drive! and believe me, I’ve tried 😉
I’m almost 80 now, and here’s what I see. The world is FINALLY changing. You young women aren’t putting up with the nonsense we swallowed like vitamins.
You’re not shrinking, and ou’re not whispering. You’re not apologizing for having the audacity to exist in a female body with opinions. And honestly it’s about DAMN time and where were you all 60 years ago when I needed you? Lol
We rise with or without them! With or without their approval! With or without their permission! With or without their ability to find the TV remote by themselves! Ok, maybe I still call my son to ask if he can find my Firestick remote using his “find my phone” app.
It’s NEVER too late. Not at 40, not at 60, not at 80. Not at 100 if you’re spite living like I plan to.
You can change your entire life whenever you finally get tired of your own excuses.
So here’s my advice from someone who wasted too many years being “nice”
You WILL make mistakes. You’ll fall for the wrong person. You’ll stay in the wrong job. You’ll put up with the wrong friends. That’s called being human and having bad judgment temporarily.
Just don’t make the fatal mistake… Don’t spend your precious, beautiful, ONE LIFE trying to fit into a box someone else built for you. Especially if that someone doesn’t truly respect you.
Set your standards high and watch people scatter like cockroaches when you turn on the light.
LET. THEM. GO.
The right people will meet you there. The wrong ones will call you names and then wonder why you blocked their number.
Imagine what YOU could do if you started today instead of waiting until your back hurts and your knees sound like Rice Krispies.
Don’t wait for permission. It’s never coming.
Take it.
-Dolly xoxo
