10/01/2024
Happy 2024 friends!
I envisioned 2023 as the year I wanted to focus on a song lyrics I wrote a long time ago:
‘When was the last time you did something for the first time, and wasn’t that amazing?’
Actually, I wrote about 50 song lyrics and melodies in the past 30 years, a dozen were even recorded. But I never had the courage to perform my songs in public.
At Christmas 2022 I realized it was time to search for that dusty old box with songs that had been sitting in the attic for years.
Once I located them, I called my family from Spain and asked them to save the date for almost 1 year later, on 4th of November 2023. When we hung up it felt like I had passed the ‘15 seconds of courage’ to make a brave decision: I was going to host a very special birthday party.
In the next quarter the music was transferred from cassette to computer, I started looking for a guitar player (and found an amazing one in my next door neighbor), for professional equipment and started singing lessons. Slowly but surely it was all coming together.
I decided to invite a small group of people that really left ‘footsteps on my heart’ (from the poem of Eleanor Rooseveld) somewhere down the road in my 51 year journey.
Most importantly, I wanted to have my mother and my daughters there.
It would be an evening to create new memories by shedding light on the old ones. Deep down I hoped some special knots would be tied between three generations, possibly even ignite the next one…
Finally, I asked my oldest daughter if she wanted to make her debut with me on guitar, performing one or two songs together, and she bravely agreed.
And then all of a sudden, all kinds of things started to get in motion. Like the universe decided to take the whole endeavor up a notch.
Before I knew it, I fell from one totally new experience into another.
First timers: I was invited to speak at an international summit in London on my favorite topic; how your generational inheritance charges you as the person and founder you are today. I took the train and went to England.
In March I started a circle with 10 visionary founders, from Boston to Bombay, and shortly after I was guest in an international circle interviewed by the amazing filmmaker and author Pavi Mehta (Book: infinite Vision).
I started to practice five hours of weekly yoga and in the next two quarters, I also found myself wandering in the woods for four days, learning all about herbs and plants.
With pain in my heart I let go of my office where I started my business 7 years prior, started a new office and I was invited again to speak a keynote in Poland. When I came home I picked up singing lessons and began to rehearse my own songs with the gitarist.
Meanwhile I started an eight month online study in Trauma Research in the US.
Many more things happened that were totally out of my comfort zone and I went along with it.
Frequently I asked myself that year: ‘what are you doing!?’
I had never spoken on any international podia. Besides I’m not a skilled singer, actually, I hardly have any performance experience.
Often I felt ‘naked’ and deeply insecure and yet I knew it had to be done.
Why? I wanted to charge my daughters and mother with the magic of courage! Tying the ‘generational knots’ together, while we still can.
The evening of the 4th of November came. At 7 am in the morning my family arrived from Madrid, at 10 am the set was built, we did the last rehearsal and the very special catering was delivered. We lit up the candles and waited for the moment to begin.
I stepped on the stage…and it was as if I was lifted up, like a waking dream. First ‘I died’ a thousand times, went through all my insecurities and then got into the flow of feeling so much gratitude, amazement and love.
Everybody that I wished for was there. My mother and daughters were special guests, remembering my father who passed away 6 years ago in my opening speech.
It became ‘the final chord’ of a year that was filled with adventure. I could not have imagined in December 2022 how this one intention, charged by courage, would become such a huge igniter.
I feel very proud and thankful about creating this beautiful memory of 2023 alone and together.
I’m sure I have charged my 82 year old mother and 2 teenage daughters with this sparkle of courage.
I can only hope to have inspired them and maybe others to get out there and ask themselves: ‘when was the last time you did something for the first time, and wasn’t it amazing…?’
A short clip of one of the songs: The Queen and the soldier by Susan Vega
