Breakthrough Therapy & Coaching

09/12/2021

Most of the time, we are kept in constant "distraction" from trying to grasp our inevitable existential end, or the uncertainty of what lies thereof. The current world situation however, whether consciously or not, has brought the awareness of our own finite mortality to a much more conscious, or subconsciously triggering level; manifesting in a lot of the issues we currently face in all the various societal and individual levels.

In trying to “protect” ourselves in this state, we lash out, unleash frustration as a potential defence mechanism in the “attack”, to defend. In parallel, we may also try to negate this paradox of life and death, by turning to self-help literature, or others who capitalize on our inherent fundamental need for “hope”, which has always been there – but has just become more imminently pressing.

Even attempts to “focus on the positive” and constantly reframe becomes an active denial defence mechanism; for happiness cannot exist without sadness, in the same way light cannot exist without darkness, nor peace without war – both must exist for 1 to exist; as is the ultimate paradox of life and death; an acceptance of this paradigm.

Perhaps we should allow ourselves to explore within that place in ourselves which we fear the most, where the light does not shine, and give room to what lies in our shadows instead of turning to others for our source of hope, because everyone is fundamentally selling you hope in their own potential denial. To turn to “help”, focused only in one direction to “make you better”, IS the selling of hope, which by default puts you in a position of “never being good enough” by default!

You have the answer in your own truth within yourself; which only You can answer, should you allow yourself to. Take the time to enter the Shadow, for perhaps this will allow us an authentic Light and Joy in the present; one created yourself – which will be unwavering; unlike all the aforementioned.

03/02/2019

It has been over a month since the New Year and it’s usually around this time where we may have slowed down the momentum on, lost track, or even given up on some of the resolutions we had set for 2019 (Or if you haven’t set any, perhaps now would be a good time to start!).

It is important to keep in mind that if we set goals or resolutions which are too unrealistic, the chances of succeeding through an entire year are much lower.

It is easy to overestimate the leverage a New Year’s Resolution can provide… Much like overestimating one’s appetite at a supermarket when feeling hungry and coming out with a trolley stash enough to last the month, even though you had initially planned on enough for a quick meal or snack.

Keeping goals Defined, Realistic and Sustainable, are some of the key factors in ensuring you are able to keep up with your resolutions for 2019! Do take the time to reflect on your goals and progress. Perhaps instead of slowing down or even giving up as you may have in the past (hopefully not, but if so), take this time where you can, to simplify, define and adjust them accordingly.

06/11/2018

Sometimes when we encounter emotional pain, there can be the impulse to find immediate relief from this feeling through distraction, procrastination or even self-numbing behaviors. Overtime, if fostered, these behaviors can become a negative habit and form of coping which could spiral downwards.

It is important to first come to acceptance of the situation at hand and to evaluate what the real difficulty actually is. Problems can actually add a sense of meaning and purpose to our lives as the process of overcoming them can generate self-confidence, esteem, build competence and trust in oneself for the future and even bring us joy!

24/08/2018

The daily rituals and routines that we engage in, dictate the quality and experience of our lives. If you find yourself in a place which is causing you prolonged unhappiness and/or distress; one of the ways to begin changing this, is by becoming more aware of your own patterns.

What are the patterns of behavior or thought which you catch yourself in which is causing you to stay stuck? Is it the action of repeatedly giving into unhealthy impulses or urges? Is it the thoughts of perfectionism and control, which make you feel like you are losing yourself? Or is it something else?

The first step is sometimes to become more aware of your own personal "negative" patterns, alongside their triggers, before you can begin taking the necessary actions towards the direction of positive change.

17/07/2018

There will be times when one can feel as if everything is falling apart, wanting to give up on a goal, or a strong feeling to give in to an impulse or urge with negative consequences to the self.

During these moments, it is important to “ride the wave” of emotion; not to try to react to, or resist the negative emotions, but to know that no matter how difficult or painful they may be in the moment, that they too shall pass.

A surfer rides the waves on its natural tide because he cannot fight the direction and strength of the waves directly. At times, trying to “fight” away or temporarily “numb” negative emotions and urges lead to more long-term damage than it does good.

03/06/2018

Just as when two strangers meet unexpectedly but fall head over heels in love with each other, so too can a tiny giggle set off an entire room into a roar of laughter.

The power of momentum is evident in almost all aspects of our lives if we take the time to notice it. Have you recalled times where the smallest disagreement with a friend or loved one, gets escalated and blown way out of proportion? (“Negative” momentum) Or when you suddenly made the decision to actively go against a habit that you knew was impacting your life negatively but could never seem to take action on before? (“Positive” momentum)

In the positive sense of momentum, something happens inside of us when we make the decision to change, when we realize that we no longer wish to live or feel a certain way; and if this decision is STRONG enough, we will naturally “gravitate” towards or actively seek out all the necessary resources around us, to get us towards making this positive change and growth.

Being aware of and understanding when momentum is affecting us in the negative and positive sense can be the defining factor between success and failure. When we get the ball rolling in the right direction and build up enough momentum, it becomes much harder for bad habits/thoughts/behaviors and distractions to try slow you down!

22/05/2018

Hearing or seeing the words ADDICTION or self-numbing usually bring our minds towards alcohol and drug abuse, but the reality is that there is a lot more to it.

Overdoing an activity which is initially fun or even healthy, such as exercise or an exciting computer game or phone app, to the point where it starts to impact other avenues of your life can be accidentally fostered over time, as a form of coping/self-numbing and “escape” from dealing with a more difficult issue. Others may get caught up in the loop of an unhealthy relationship with an abusive partner and over time, get “addicted” to small handouts of intermittent positive reinforcement, despite being emotionally and sometimes even physically, abused.

With drug and alcohol addictions, there is a strong component of the high “highs” (under the influence), and low “lows” (hangovers); this component may also be seen and present in other addictive or self-numbing behaviors, activities and even relationships as the emotional “roller coasters” between highs and lows can be subconsciously thrilling.

If you are noticing any addictive or potentially self-numbing behaviours/activities or thought patterns that you may be engaging in which is starting to have a negative impact on your life and need help breaking free from, feel free to reach out!

18/04/2018

Oftentimes we can get so caught up with the process of living up to an image or ideal, that over time, we lose touch with our authentic self. When this happens, there is greater potential for us to go against our own values, let others trespass on our boundaries and after enough repetition, can leave us feeling emotionally distressed without even understanding or realizing what has happened.

Before we can take the necessary steps in making lasting change in any area of our life, we must first become attuned and accepting to whom it is we truly are.

30/03/2018

Sometimes we forget that it is not only the misunderstandings based on words or language that we use to communicate to others that can cause obstacles, but the way in which we communicate to ourselves.

Being aware of our own personal dialogue is important. Be kind to yourself, especially in periods of difficulty and distress. At times, it’s not so much about the picture at hand, but the frame surrounding it, that can change the mood of an image.

16/03/2018

Most of us live in a society today where we are being bombarded by messages of things we need to have, or ideas about who we need to be, in order to be happy.

The constant stream of such messages both when outside and now, even from the comfort of our homes, as a result of the increased use and accessibility of social media over the last decade, can increase and foster a sense of “not being good enough” both consciously and unconsciously.

In an effort to be “good enough” or to feel accepted, we may then lose track of our own personal boundaries or interests. Trying to be who we truly are and to be Okay with whom we are is becoming increasingly more difficult.

Take time for yourself to re-evaluate if the life you currently lead is one of your own choosing. Be authentic and accepting of your true self, as not only is this the first step in making positive change, but will also reduce potential feelings of inner conflict, which overtime, may manifest in the form of unwanted negative symptoms.

If you find yourself persistently struggling with any of these difficulties, feel free to reach out!

14/02/2018

“Walk the middle path.”

In the case of many Anxiety disorders, especially those symptomatic of eating disorders and the obsessive-compulsive spectrum, there is usually a strong element of “All or Nothing” thinking, alongside a need for “absolute” certainty; to the point where it causes significant emotional distress and potential breakdown in impulse and control.

In less extreme terms and in the same way; one cannot train at the gym every single day without rest, nor should one aim to reach a state of the elusive “perfection” in one’s appearance (which can turn into a never-ending obsession).

Even though compulsions can be very powerful drivers, in the short-term, in the case of performance and/or work and creative function for individuals who exhibit these symptoms - in the long run, it can end in physical or mental burnout, breakdown or even cause an individual to “shutdown”; Especially when elements of “thrill” or self-numbing are present.

One of the paths in eliminating this “All or Nothing” cognitive distortion is to find the Balance; walking the middle path between your Emotional mind (the mind that wants you to give into the impulses and urges for immediate gratification or “relief” from symptoms), versus the knowledge you can garner from your Logical mind – with the ultimate goal of having you enter your Wise mind to make the best possible decision for yourself in the long-run (as acting on most impulses only provide temporary relief before the cycle repeats itself and causes even more distress).

To learn more about how my services can help you with the Anxiety issues which you find yourself struggling with in a personalized manner, check out my website to contact me from the link below.

www.bt-therapy.com

28/01/2018

Take the time to enjoy the Moments we have; find Joy in the Present and life’s journey, as there will Always be another destination, goal or plan. Take a break from the clock.

Listen to the birds once in a while, and perhaps at times, Listen to what your feelings and emotions are trying to communicate to you.

31/12/2017

Happy New Years and wishing everyone a fulfilling upcoming year in 2018!!! Let this be a time to reflect on all the challenges You have had to overcome in 2017, as I am sure there have been many – and how they have made you grow as a person.

Pin pointing problematic areas and having the right strategies is an important part of any healing or empowering process; but it is only when we make the DECISION to take the necessary ACTION, does change really occur and we truly begin to blossom! May your 2018 be one of positive action and change in the right direction!

29/12/2017

The holiday season may be coming to a close, and while we all try to be nicer to each other around the holidays, we often forget that it's important to be kind year round. A little compassion goes a long way!

27/12/2017

Is your "inner child" starting to become a problem child?

How to keep "little you" in check.

13/12/2017

The expat lifestyle can be immensely rewarding, but it can also be quite difficult at times. Feeling isolated is common for expats when they first move abroad to a new country where they do not know anyone, do not understand the culture, and do not yet feel at home. However, there are counseling services that specialize in expat problems to help you learn to better adapt! Contact me today for more information!

If you’re an expat, finding your feet in a new country can be difficult in ways that go beyond simply being homesick. Moving away from your support network to unfamiliar surroundings can result in high levels of stress. Studies have revealed that expat depression is more common; this is attributed...

11/12/2017

Everyone always seems cheerful and excited during the holiday season, but for some people, it can be an immensely stressful or depressing time. Reducing those negative feelings might be as easy as taking care of your schedule and making sure you don't overbook too many work and personal holiday commitments. However, if those feelings don't go away once the holiday season has ended, you may want to see a counselor.

What are your usual ways to cope with holiday stress?

10/12/2017

Final exams are coming up for many students, which often make students feel more anxious than usual. Everyone scrambling to study for exams and finish final papers probably feels extremely overwhelmed, so take some time to support your classmates and remind them to take care of themselves. Just a few words of encouragement can go a long way!