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Stress Talk - Theodora, Health Psychologist, M.Sc, The Hague (2025)

12/11/2023

| Are you a psychology student? This is for you! |
If you have just graduated from a psychology course and are in search of what to do with your career, join the Online Career Event “Just finished my studies, what now?” organised by the SPS-NIP Commissies (Section Psychology Students- Nederlands Instituut van Psychologen).

I will be there with colleagues from different disciplines in psychology to provide career advice and practical tips for your dream career path!

The event will take place via Zoom on November 23rd at 17:00 CET. Click here to find more information and book your ticket: https://app.clubcollect.com/forms/en/sps-nip-carriere-c/career-committee-sps-nip

I hope to see you there!

Sending positive vibes,

Theodora

04/09/2023

| You need to look |
If you are in this journey too, and your answer to any of these questions is yes, then you know that something needs to change.

There are multiple times that people come to therapy telling me that they are always stressed but they don't know why.

I always explain that apart from learning how to manage stress, an important component of therapy is to understand the cause(s) of stress and make changes in your life.

Change can be scary but it can also lead to great things.

So, I invite you to look at your relationships, the people around you and your routine and see if there is anything there that makes you lose control and sight of who you trully are.

Remember, people and habits are supposed to make us to want to be better. They are not supposed to make us feel worse about ourselves.

Sending positive vibes,
Theodora

15/08/2023

| What do you struggle with? |
Burnout symptoms can vary among adults.

However, there are a few signs that I have identified to almost all my clients with burnout through the years.

These are the most common things you may struggle with when you have a burnout:
✔️Opening your work laptop in the morning
✔️Talking to friends and family
✔️Caring about personal hygiene
✔️Doing things you used to enjoy like going to the gym or finding time for your hobby

What is the most irritating for you? I remember mine was to open my work laptop in the morning.

Tell me yours in the comments 👇️

27/07/2023

| You need to understand this |
Stress can have a significant impact on concentration and cognitive function.

When you experience stress, your body's stress response is triggered, which releases hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

While these hormones can be helpful in certain situations, chronic or excessive stress can lead to negative effects on the brain and cognitive abilities, including concentration.

Have you noticed that you can't concentrate when you are stressed?

Then stay tuned for ways to improve concentration when stressed in the posts to come ;)

26/07/2023

| Have you ever wondered what is the difference? |
In everyday dialogues it is very common to use the words stress and anxiety as the same thing.

However, in the field of mental health we know that there are differences between the two concepts as they are not the same.

The differences usually have to do with the:
✔️nature of the response
✔️time orientation
✔️emotions
✔️phsyical signs
✔️triggers

This does not mean though that they are not connected. One can lead to the other and vice versa.

So, which one do you think you have? Anxiety, stress, both or none? Tell me in the comments 👇️

25/07/2023

| Finding peace within the chaos |
⁠.
Living with anxiety is like riding a roller coaster of emotions.

From the racing thoughts to the constant worry, it can feel overwhelming.

But remember, you are not alone.⁠
⁠
Taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health.

Monitoring how anxiety manifests in our body and mind is key to understand how to cope with it.

So today, I would like to share a few golden questions we use in therapy to help people monitor their anxiety, the effects on the body, the negative thoughts it triggers and the helpful ways they have used and can still use to address it.

✔️ Monitoring the situations that usually trigger our anxiety can help us identify possible sources of the problem.
✔️ Noticing the physical signs of anxiety can help us understand the size of the effect and can help us recognise it sooner next time.
✔️ Hearing our negative thoughts about ourselves while we are anxious, can help us challenge negative thinking patterns that block our potential.
✔️ Remembering ways we have used in the past that helped with anxiety, can help us find a source of relaxation that we know it works for us.
✔️ Brainstorming about new ways that could help us with anxiety, can make us feel more confident and increase our self-capacity.

As a person who struggles with anxiety a lot, I would like to tell you that it does get better as long as you start monitoring it instead of fighting it.

So, what are your go-to ways to cope with anxiety? Let me know in the comments 👇️

19/07/2023

| 7 ways to look out for |
A toxic relationship can be considered a severe chronic stressor in someone's life and can affect bothe mental and physical health.

Chronic stress affects stress responses in our body, keeping them always activated. This affects the alternation between the sympathetic (alert mode) and the parasympathetic (relax mode) systems.

When these two systems are not in balance then there is a nervous system dysregulation.

Nervous system (NS) dysregulation can lead to multiple emotional and physical consequences.

It is important to be mindful of these and take appropriate action when we feel that a relationship has taken a toll in our overall wellbeing.

Save this post for when in doubt of your relationship.

Sending positive vibes,
Theodora

13/07/2023

| What do you eat during your burnout? |
As a survivor of burnout, I can reassure you that what you eat can make a big difference in your energy and your mood.

Burnout is a state of built up stress which consequently affects -among others- our gut health.

Nutrition then is an important component of the recovery plan for a person with a burnout.

Of course, everyone’s nutritional needs can vary and it is important to make a personalised plan. However, research has shown that these nutrients help with gut health.

In previous posts I have talked about the brain-gut axis and how processes which affect our stress responses, affect our gut health as well and vice versa.

Therefore gut health is important for mental health too. Taking control of your nutrition empowers you to be on top of your recovery.

So remember:

Eat mindfully, recover mindfully ;)

Do you have any nutrition tips you follow to improve your energy and mood? Tell me in the comments!

Disclaimer: This posts aims to educate of nutrients that are important for gut health according to research. It does not replace personalised advice of a licensed nutritionist or a medical professional. Please read with caution and if you feel uncertain or if you suffer from specific conditions, ask the support of a licensed nutrtionist in your area.

11/07/2023

| A quick checklist |
Sleep is very important for our mental and physical wellbeing.

Improving your quality of sleep can be a tricky thing since it is affected by many different factors, so here’s is a quick checklist to see which things you can control on your own.

Taking long naps during the day can disrupt the sleep-wake cycle and it interferes with the sleep pressure, the natural drive for sleep that is building up throughout the day. Therefore, you think you get a lot of rest when you take long naps but this will actually affect the time it takes for you to fall asleep at night.

Looking at your phone before sleep or using any blue light emitting device suppresses the production of melatonin which is a hormone that regulates sleep.

Caffeine is a stimulant that increases alertness and reduces feelings of fatigue. The time for caffeine to be eliminated from the body varies from person to person. The half-time of caffeine is 5 to 6 hours on average which means that if you drink coffee after 3pm, caffeine will still be in your system when it is time to go to bed.

Alcohol is misunderstood because of its relaxing properties. However, when it comes to sleep, alcohol leads to disruptions, interferes with the alternation of sleep stages and suppresses REM sleep leading to bad quality sleep.

Eating your dinner too close to your bed-time can affect sleep due to the increased blood flow directed to the digestive system. The metabolic processes needed to digest a big meal can interfere with the natural sleep processes.

Staying in bed when you cannot fall asleep is actually bad for your sleep patterns. Your brain associates the bed with wakefulness meaning that everytime you are on your bed, your brain will send messages of staying awake instead of messages for initiating sleep processes.

What is your sleep like lately?

Any of these habits that you want to change? Tell me in the comments!

08/07/2023

| What are your plans for the weekend? |

Challenge: Choose any 3 activities from the list and stick to them for the weekend.

You will feel so much better afterwards and you will have your batteries charged for the new week.

My personal 3:
-read a few pages of the book I'm trying to finish for ages
-exercise
-get quality sleep

What's yours?

Tell me in the comments!

06/07/2023

| How well do you sleep? |
Sleep is the most important thing our body does.

Lack of sleep can have a significant impact on stress levels.

Sleep is crucial for the proper functioning of our bodies and minds, and when we don't get enough sleep, it can lead to various physiological and psychological effects, including increased stress.

Are you interested in the topic of sleep? Then save the post for later!

04/07/2023

| A quick toolkit |

Sometimes when we experience emotions that are hard to handle, we need a quick fix that will help at that very moment until we regulate our emotion and be able to go back on track.

Each emotion is different and therefore requires a different response to regulate it.

However, it is important to remember that although these quick fixes can help at the moment of crisis, it is important to practice them on a daily basis to reach maximum results.

Also, it is important to have practiced these techniques beforehand, when there is no prominent stressor in your environment. This will give you the space to learn the technique and receive maximum benefits. Trying a technique like that for a first time while you are in a moment of overwhelming emotions, will not have the same result as if you are familiar with the technique.

Besides, you do not learn how to drive from the first lesson ;)

Have you tried any of these? Tell me in the comments!

08/06/2023

| The brain, the gut and the stress|
Do you know in how many ways stress affects our body? Well, the brain has a lot of connections with the body through nerves, like the vagus nerve, which create pathways included in different processes.

In this post I explain more about how the brain sends signals to the body when under stress affecting the gut and in the long-term, gut health in general.

Have you noticed your stomach or guts feeling weird when under stress ? Tell me in the comments!

04/06/2023

| The science behind self-care |

Hello everyone!

If you follow me for a while, you know already that I am a big supporter of self-care. And the good thing is that research findings show the benefits of specific types of self-care.

On this post I have gathered the ones that have the most benefits on me and my clients.

• Journaling: when we experience negative emotions an area on our brain called amygdala is activated and gives the message for the fight/flight/freeze/fawn response when stressed. When we journal and share and process these emotions, this area “calms down”.

• Decluttering: this is an all time favourite for me. Studies have shown that an organised space helps with mood, anxiety, concentration and information processing.

• Drinking water: when we are dehydrated, the levels of serotonin are lower. Serotonin is one of the main neurotransmitters contributing to depression and anxiety. Drinking enough water means we make sure that our serotonin levels are balanced.

• Signing off: the real struggle with social media is the comparing ourselves with everyone else. Signing off can help with taking a break from unnecessary comparisons, being more mindful and managing stress.

• Socialising: in previous posts I have talked about how loneliness and isolation is associated with mental health struggles like depression and anxiety. Having a good support network is a protective factor towards mental health disorders.

• Sleeping: this is the best thing your brain and body can do. Getting 7-9 hours of sleep every night helps with balancing out our stress response system, being more concentrated and having a better mood.

Which is your favourite type of self-care? Tell me in the comments!

02/06/2023

| How resilient are you?|

Life is full of stressful situations. Sometimes we can handle the stress and learn valuable lessons.

What happens though when a certain situation becomes so stressful that we feel we cannot manage?

Building resilience is crucial to navigate challenging moments. Resilience is the set of skills we have developed through time to help us deal with any negative situation.

A common misunderstanding is that resilience should be practiced through stressful situations only.

However the most efficient way to practice resilience is actually every single day, even during calm peaceful ways.

This will lead to a proactive mindset: acting before the challenge comes.

What do you do to practice resilience? Tell me in the comments!

16/05/2023

|Have you ever made the connection?|

Hi everyone!

This week I would like to bring up the topic of stress and loneliness.

Loneliness seems to be one of the modern epidemics: 75 million people in Europe report feeling lonely, with London being the loneliest city in the world (The roots of loneliness project). This seems to be a big group of people who are suffering from loneliness. With stress being one of the core mental health problems of our era, I wanted to discuss with you the connections between these 2.

So how is stress connected with loneliness?

Stress affects our thoughts, emotions, behavior and biology leading to changes in our social connections and interactions with the people around us.

The interesting part is that negative thoughts, emotions, behaviors and biological imbalances are not only affected by stress but they affect each other as well.

The consequences in our social life is feeling the urge to be isolated from others and others to isolate us.

How do you experience loneliness?
Tell me in the comments 👇

05/05/2023

| What if you could fix this? |
Happy Friday everyone!

This week we are focusing on relationship stress, discussing positive and negative effects and touching upon the topic of conflict in romantic relationships. Now that you have some information about understanding relationship stress better, it is time for action.

I would like to share with you 3 tips that are extremely helpful to see growth in our relationships.

Communicate your emotions and thoughts. Say things like “What happened this morning made me feel angry” or “...made me think that you do not want to spend time with me”. Let your partner inside your mind and show you are willing to go in their minds too.

Look forward and not backwards. In times of anger it is very easy to go down the road of accusing our partner for a specific situation. How does this really help to find a solution though? Next time try to focus on what can be done from now on so as to open the path for further improvement of the relationship.

Ask, don’t demand. It is very natural to feel that we need more attention from our partner. This is a need to identify and communicate. And sometimes some scheduling is required as well. If you and your partner have busy schedules, try to fit in some time to spend together and some time to spend on things you love separately. This way you nurture both yourselves and the relationship.

Have you tried any of these tips to improve communication in your relationship?

Sending positive vibes,
Theodora

04/05/2023

| Ask yourself |
Happy Thursday everyone!

Today I wanted to share with you some thoughts about noticing the signs of stress in a relationship. I have always found questions to be powerful tools to guide us towards finding answers.

When in doubt about your relationship, ask yourself the following:

Do I always feel angry with my partner?
This question refers to any negative emotion you may commonly experience in the relationship. If this negative emotion is present most of the time you interact with your partner, then maybe it is time to start exploring what could be the reason for this. Usually emotions of anger are hiding needs that we have and are not met in our relationships.

Am I comfortable sharing my feelings?
As discussed in the previous posts of this week, honest and open communication about how we feel and what we think can go a long way in a relationship. Sometimes communication is about being vulnerable and showing to our partner that a situation has really affected us. This gives us the nudge we need to discuss about how we can improve a situation in the future.

Is there a lot of fighting without a solution?
So, if you find yourself and your partner often fighting and going in circles without any solution, then maybe it is time to find out what is the real reason behind all these fights. Think about what is happening in your communication that makes it hard to align your thoughts in the conversation and makes any attempt for discussion counterproductive.

Can I see the future with my partner in it?
Usually seeing the future with our partner in it can tell us a lot about how we feel in the relationship. A common source of stress in a relationship is the discrepancy between how we see the future and the big decisions and how our partner sees it. If you feel stressed because you know your ideal future is different from your partner’s ideal future, then it is important to look for ways to either find each other in the middle or discuss what is the future of the relationship itself.

Disclaimer: All the above are not meant to offer solutions in relationship conflicts. The point of posts like this on my page is to offer tools to understand better and reflect on a situation. Self-reflection is a very important first step towards improving relationships and mental health. It is important to ask for professional help if you feel that your mental health is affected and you struggle with stress more than usual. Social media cannot offer the support and guidance you can get from counselling and therapy. Stay mindful of your needs and the ways to address them.

Sending positive vibes,
Theodora

Stress Talk - Theodora, Health Psychologist, M.Sc