Recipes4Change, Oostduinlaan 22, The Hague (2026)

16/05/2026

As a young person, I believed happiness was a destination — something to arrive at once all the pieces of life finally fell into place. But over the years, through relocations, reinventions, personal challenges, therapy, and eventually retraining as a coach and counsellor, I came to understand something far more meaningful: happiness is not a fixed place. It is a journey, shaped by connection, resilience, healing, and the stories we carry.

That is why Nuthan’s, 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘏𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘛𝘰𝘶𝘳, resonated with me so deeply. Earlier today, I finally joined the 𝘚𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘥𝘢𝘮 𝘚𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘴 tour, and it reminded me of something I witness often in my work — that genuine human connection can be profoundly healing.

As we wandered through the beautiful streets and landmarks of Schiedam, we reflected together on the theme of resilience and what it means to each of us personally. But this was far more than a walking tour. Through thoughtful prompts and open conversations, we explored our shared humanity: the challenges we have faced, the obstacles we continue to navigate, the ways we have adapted, and the support we both need and can offer others.

In coaching and counselling, I often see how transformative it can be when people feel truly heard without judgment. Today felt like a living example of that. Strangers became connected through storytelling, vulnerability, laughter, and reflection. There is something deeply powerful about being reminded that none of us carry our struggles alone.

One of the highlights for me was visiting Polina’s photography exhibition about De Gorzen, a neighbourhood in Schiedam. Through her photos of 19 senior residents, we were invited into the lived experiences of people whose stories might otherwise remain unknown. Each photograph carried emotion, history, resilience, love, grief, and contribution. It was a moving reminder that every person we encounter holds an entire world within them.

The exhibition runs until the 25th of May, and I highly recommend visiting it.

What also stood out to me is how important initiatives like this are for mental and emotional wellbeing. In a world where loneliness, burnout, stress, and disconnection are becoming increasingly common, creating spaces for authentic conversation and community connection is not a luxury, it is essential.

Connection heals.
Community strengthens resilience.
Stories help us make sense of ourselves and each other.

This was my first Happiness Tour, but it certainly will not be my last.

Thank you to Nuthan Manohar, Julie Taylor and Polina Nasedkina Photography for creating such a meaningful experience, and thank you to everyone who shared part of their story today. It was truly a joy to meet you all.

14/05/2026

Did moving to a new country ever lead you to question parts of your identity, beliefs, or the life you thought you wanted?

When I read these words, displayed in the image, from Glennon Doyle’s book, Untamed, I had to pause:

Those words deeply resonated with me because they reflected so much of what I experienced through my own relocations, and later explored more deeply in therapy. Moving between countries repeatedly challenged not only my sense of belonging, but also my understanding of who I was outside of familiar environments, roles, and expectations.

With each move, I found myself adapting in different ways — adjusting to new cultures, languages, social norms, and ways of living. Over time, that naturally led me to question parts of myself I had previously taken for granted. Which parts of me felt authentic, and which parts had developed through adaptation, survival, or the desire to belong? Which beliefs, goals, and definitions of success were truly mine?

Therapy gave me the opportunity to slow down and explore those questions more consciously. I began to reflect on my beliefs, decisions, relationships, perspectives, and the stories I carried about who I was supposed to be. It became a space where I could separate inherited expectations from my own values, and reconnect with a more intentional sense of self.

How much of our identity is truly ours, and how much has been shaped by culture, family, expectations, or survival?

In my work with internationals, I observe that many people go through a similar process of reflection, especially during relocation and cultural transition.

Living between cultures often invites us to re-examine the assumptions we grew up with:

🔸𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘶𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦?🔸𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨?
🔸𝘈𝘮 𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘺?

Relocating to a new country is rarely just a geographical move. It can become an emotional and psychological journey of rediscovering yourself outside the environment that originally shaped you.

And while that process can feel unsettling at times, it can also be incredibly freeing.

So perhaps these are questions worth asking yourself from time to time:

✨𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵?✨𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘯𝘰𝘵, 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦?

As a counsellor and coach, I offer a space for exactly these kinds of reflections — a space to pause, explore who you are beneath expectations and adaptation, and reconnect with what feels true and meaningful to you.

10/05/2026

I was fortunate to be raised by my grandmother — a woman who was deeply loving and incredibly wise. Her words guided me through many moments of darkness, and even now, years after her passing, they continue to shape how I see the world.

There is one proverb, translated from Arabic, that she would often share when I came to her feeling disheartened after a setback, or weighed down by a sense of failure.

“𝘎𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘙𝘢𝘸𝘪𝘢,” she would say. “𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘢 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘥.”

At the time, it wasn’t always easy to believe.

But she was right.

With time, those hidden positives did begin to emerge — through unexpected opportunities, through new directions I hadn’t considered, and through the growth, learning, and resilience that came from navigating those difficult moments.

Today, in my work as a coach and counsellor, I often find myself sharing this same wisdom with clients. So many people I support are moving through setbacks, questioning themselves, or feeling stuck in the weight of what hasn’t gone to plan.

And yet, with time, space, and support, something begins to shift.

Perspective alters.
Strength builds.
Possibilities emerge.

What once felt like an ending can slowly reveal itself as a new beginning.

I’ve also passed these words on to my daughters, in the hope that this quiet wisdom continues — supporting them in finding their own resilience when life feels uncertain.

We don’t always see the value of a difficult moment while we’re in it.
But that doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

✨ Looking back, where has a difficult moment shaped you in a way you didn’t expect — and what words of wisdom have carried you through challenging times?

08/05/2026

Before and after: change can be beautiful 😍

07/05/2026

Are you standing at the edge of change?

Change is difficult because it asks us to step into behaviours that feel unfamiliar.

Those new behaviours create new outcomes — different from what we’ve always known — and that uncertainty can feel unsettling. Meanwhile, the old ways of being, even when painful, feel predictable. We’ve lived them over and over again. They are known. They feel safe.

This is the quiet inner conflict so many people face when they are on the path to change.

And it’s not just internal.

Often, the people around us struggle too. Family members, friends, colleagues — they’ve grown used to a certain version of us. When we begin to shift, it can feel uncomfortable or even threatening to them. Not because they don’t care, but because our change disrupts what feels familiar and predictable in the relationship.

It becomes a choice:
Stay within the comfort zone, or dare to step into something new.

I’m often reminded of Alicia Keys’ song 𝘉𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘕𝘦𝘸 𝘔𝘦, where she captures this so powerfully — finding a new voice, new boundaries, and a new sense of freedom, even when others are surprised by it.

In my work as a coach and counsellor, I see this often.

Clients standing at the edge of change, asking themselves:
Do I keep moving forward into the unknown… or return to what feels familiar, even if it no longer serves me?

Real, lasting change takes courage.
It takes determination.
It often requires a leap of faith.
And importantly, it requires support.

Because change isn’t just about thinking differently — it’s about 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 differently, making new choices repeatedly, especially when it feels uncomfortable.

Having the right support — someone to guide you, challenge you, and stand alongside you when doubt creeps in — can make all the difference.

And one more truth I often share with clients:
As you change, you may begin to see your environment differently. Some people will grow with you. Others may not.

That’s why it becomes so important to surround yourself with those who can recognise the value of your growth — and are willing to meet the “new you” with openness, not resistance.

Change is not the easy path.
But it is often the right one.

✨ What is one change you’ve been avoiding — and what might happen if you gave yourself permission to take the first step?

If this resonates, I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences in the comments — or feel free to reach out if you’re navigating change and need support.

04/05/2026

“𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧?”

This was one of the first questions my therapist asked me.

At the time, it felt simple. Almost too simple.

But over the years, and especially through my work as a coach and counsellor, I’ve come to understand how powerful that question really is.

Because support is a psychological resource.

When clients come to me feeling overwhelmed, stuck, isolated, or worn down by their inner critic, one of the first things we explore is this:
🤔 Can you name someone in your life who is supportive?

Sometimes it’s a partner, friend, mentor, or sibling.
Sometimes it’s a late parent or grandparent whose words still live on inside them.
Sometimes it’s even someone they’ve never met — an author, artist, or leader whose voice inspires hope.

These people become resources. You actively draw on the memory of how they made you feel, seen, valued, capable. That memory can regulate the nervous system. It can soften shame. It can remind you of who you are when you’ve temporarily forgotten.

I support clients to:
🔸Identify supportive voices, past and present.
🔸Strengthen internal resources and resilience.
🔸Separate from harsh inner criticism.
🔸Move toward autonomy, where the supportive voice becomes their own.

Because ultimately, the goal is integration. It’s becoming your own steady, compassionate anchor.

So let me ask you:
𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦?

Those are the voices worth amplifying.

30/04/2026

I often get asked how I moved from working as a pharmacist to becoming a coach and counsellor.

The truth?
It started with my own breakdown.

Long before I qualified as a coach and counsellor, I was navigating my own emotional and mental health challenges. For years, I believed I was the only one struggling. I felt ashamed. I stayed silent. I told myself I should be able to “handle it.”

In my 30s, I experienced a breakdown. And in that difficult season, I did something that changed everything — I asked for help.

That moment became a turning point.

Through my own healing process, I became fascinated by what truly creates lasting change. I trained in the very approaches that helped me transform my life.

As people around me began noticing the shift in me, they started reaching out for support with their own challenges. I discovered something powerful:
Supporting others through change felt deeply meaningful.

And I was good at it.

In 2012, I made the decision to leave pharmacy and fully step into my work as a coach and counsellor through my practice, Recipes4Change.

What I didn’t fully realise at the time was how much this experience of transformation and reinvention would shape my work.

Today, many of my clients are internationals who have relocated, often leaving behind established careers, professional identities, support systems, and a sense of certainty.

Relocation involves career shifts, cultural adaptation, rebuilding networks, navigating self-doubt. It can shake your confidence, challenge your identity, and force you to reinvent yourself, sometimes more than once.

Such experiences can sometimes lead a person to:
🔸Feel stuck, overwhelmed, or emotionally exhausted.
🔸Struggle silently and believe they “should” be coping better.
🔸Want change, but don’t know where to start.

I believe that people delay asking for help because they think they’re alone in their struggle, or that needing support is a weakness.

But what I learnt through both my personal and professional journey is this:

💫 Struggle is not failure.
💫 Asking for help is a courageous act.
💫 You can grow from what you go through.

My journey has taught me that
whether it’s a breakdown that leads to breakthrough, or a relocation that leads to rediscovery — change can lead to transformation.

I’m curious — what led you to the work you do?

✨ 𝘐 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘴 — 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺.

28/04/2026

I recently spent time with my two grandchildren — a newborn and a two-year-old toddler — and I was reminded, once again, of the human miracle.

That time felt deeply enriching, grounding, and unexpectedly insightful.

Watching them develop in real time is powerful. The way they take in the world, the way everything is new, the way learning is happening constantly — it’s nothing short of magical.

And it made me reflect on something we so often forget:

Every one of us has gone through that same extraordinary process.
We learned to walk, to talk, to communicate our needs, to make sense of the world around us. Our brains were wiring and rewiring at an incredible pace. And while that intensity may change, that capacity doesn’t disappear.

In fact, it’s something we still carry.

In my work as a coach and counsellor, I often meet people who feel stuck or disconnected from their ability to grow. But what I often observe is this:

The same mind that once learned how to do all of those things is still capable of change.

Growth in adulthood just looks different. It’s less visible, more intentional.

It might be learning to regulate emotions, communicate more clearly, shift long-held patterns, or reconnect with a sense of self. It might be choosing to see things differently, even after years of thinking one way.

But it is still growth.

And sometimes, all it takes is a moment — like watching a child experience the world for the first time — to disrupt our autopilot and remind us how extraordinary even the simplest human abilities really are.

So, if you’ve been doubting your capacity to change, remember this:

You’ve already done something incredible by becoming who you are today.

And as long as you are alive, that ability to learn, adapt, and evolve is still within you.

23/04/2026

Choosing the right coach, counsellor, or therapist isn’t always easy.

There are so many options available today, and while that’s a good thing, it can also make the decision feel overwhelming.

Qualifications matter. They provide a foundation of knowledge, ethics, and professional standards. But in my experience, they’re only part of the picture.

Both in my personal journey and in my work, I’ve seen that what truly shapes the experience is the relationship.

That sense of “click.”
Feeling safe.
Feeling heard.
Feeling able to say, “𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦” without hesitation.

My tip is to look for someone who has done their own inner work, someone who understands self-awareness not just in theory, but through lived experience. And just as importantly, someone who continues to invest in their own support through supervision, reflection, and self-care.

I have worked with two therapists at different points in my life. What stayed with me wasn’t just their training, but their transparency.

The first connection came naturally — I resonated with how she spoke about her work at an event, and when I later needed support I reached out to her. Eventually, we reached a point where my needs moved beyond her area of expertise. What stood out was her honesty and integrity in acknowledging that, and her willingness to refer me to someone better suited. Because trust had already been established, I felt confident following her recommendation, which led to another equally strong therapeutic relationship.

That experience continues to shape how I show up in my own practice.

As a coach and counsellor, I’m very aware that people aren’t just choosing a service, they’re choosing a relationship. And that can feel like a big, sometimes vulnerable, step.

My role is to offer a space where you feel safe, respected, and able to explore what’s really going on. To be honest about my limits. To work 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 you, not position myself as someone who has all the answers.

Ultimately, it’s about finding someone who is right 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

It may take time, or even more than one attempt. But when the right fit is there, it becomes a powerful foundation for growth, clarity, and change.

20/04/2026

Do you struggle to receive compliments? Does praise make you feel uncomfortable?

That was me many years ago. I used to downplay or deflect compliments. Now, they move me deeply.

Growing up, I received a different message: being myself was not enough. I needed to adapt. Fit in. Adjust to a particular mould.

So I did what many of us learn to do — I reshaped myself to meet expectations. I became highly attuned to what was acceptable and worked hard to belong.

Therapy changed that.

It helped me recognise the narratives I had internalised about who I should be — and question whether they were ever truly mine.

Slowly, I reconnected with my authentic self.

My story is not unique.

Parents, teachers, cultural norms, and society all shape how we see ourselves. When you’re repeatedly shown — subtly or explicitly — that you are “less than,” it leaves a mark.

In my work as a coach and counsellor, I see this often:
High-achieving, thoughtful individuals who appear confident, yet quietly question whether they are enough.

A core part of my work is supporting clients to:
🔸 Identify inherited narratives that no longer serve them.
🔸 Separate their identity from other people’s projections.
🔸 Understand how shame and trauma can be intergenerational.
🔸 Cultivate self-compassion and self-trust.
🔸 Build a sense of worth not dependent on external approval.

This is what I’ve learned:
💫 To feel loved, we must first learn to love ourselves.
💫 What others say and do often reflects their own wounds, not our worth.
💫 Trauma can be passed down — but so can healing.

Therapy freed me from the belief that I had to earn belonging by abandoning myself.

Now, I support others to do the same.

The work isn’t about becoming someone new.
It’s about coming home to who you already are.

I am curious — how do you respond when someone compliments you?

14/04/2026

"I know I need to change… but part of me keeps holding on."

Something my clients often share, and I remember feeling myself, and expressing in the past.

Sometimes we reach a point where we have a growing sense that the life we built no longer quite fits who we are becoming.

Change sounds simple in theory.

In reality, it asks a lot from us.

In my experience, real change usually requires these things:

𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲.
𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻.
𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁.
𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲.

𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲 to question the beliefs about yourself, others, and the world — beliefs that may have once protected you but no longer support who you are becoming.

Courage to let go of identities, habits, or relationships that once felt right but no longer support who you are becoming.

Courage to recognise that parts of our life story are shaped, not only by what happened to us, but by the meanings we created around those experiences.

𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 to acknowledge that you, and others, did the best you could with the resources available at the time.

𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 because this kind of work requires consistent attendance and active engagement to overcome deeply ingrained patterns, manage difficult emotions, and achieve personal goals.

And then there is 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲.

Because while the 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 to change can happen in a moment…

The 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀 of change unfolds gradually.
Insight by insight.
Conversation by conversation.
Step by step.

I’d be interested to hear your perspective:
𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 — 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦, 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘵𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦?

Recipes4Change

16/05/2026

14/05/2026

10/05/2026

08/05/2026

07/05/2026

04/05/2026

30/04/2026

28/04/2026

23/04/2026

20/04/2026

14/04/2026

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