Recipes4Change, Oostduinlaan 22, The Hague (2025)

11/09/2025

🌿 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 𝗡𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗘𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 — 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗠𝘆 𝗚𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗮

A few years ago, I bought a small gardenia shrub — a plant that holds special memories of my father. I knew that, as a tropical plant, it wasn’t naturally suited for the Dutch climate. Still, I hoped that by bringing it indoors, I could nurture it through the challenges. And for a while, it worked.

As it grew, I eventually had to move it outside. During winters, I wrapped it in bubble wrap and placed it in the shed. When I took it out each spring, it looked fragile, but summer sunshine always brought it back to life, blooming beautifully, year after year.

But this year, it didn’t bloom at all.
Despite my best efforts, the gardenia had endured too many environmental stressors over time.

It was a powerful reminder that 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙣𝙪𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙚𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩, 𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙡-𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜.

And this isn’t just true for plants.

Too often, when something feels "off" in our lives — low energy, lack of motivation, emotional overwhelm — we tend to zoom in on ourselves as the problem. We ask, 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦? 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦?

In my work as a coach and counsellor, I see this pattern often. People blame themselves for struggling, when in reality, their environment may be misaligned with their values, needs, or emotional safety.

🌱 So here’s a gentle reminder:�If you're not feeling your best, include your environment in your check-in. What’s around you? What’s supporting you, or draining you? And most importantly, what small changes could create space for you to thrive again?

As for my gardenia… I think it’s time I made space indoors again to give it the nurturing conditions it deserves. Just like we all do.

👥 Curious how your environment might be impacting your personal or professional growth? Let’s talk.

I offer coaching and counselling sessions to support your journey toward clarity, balance, and well-being.

📩 Feel free to reach out or connect — I’d love to hear your story.

11/09/2025

🌿 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 𝗡𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗘𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 — 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗠𝘆 𝗚𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗮

A few years ago, I bought a small gardenia shrub — a plant that holds special memories of my father. I knew that, as a tropical plant, it wasn’t naturally suited for the Dutch climate. Still, I hoped that by bringing it indoors, I could nurture it through the challenges. And for a while, it worked.

As it grew, I eventually had to move it outside. During winters, I wrapped it in bubble wrap and placed it in the shed. When I took it out each spring, it looked fragile, but summer sunshine always brought it back to life, blooming beautifully, year after year.

But this year, it didn’t bloom at all.
Despite my best efforts, the gardenia had endured too many environmental stressors over time.

It was a powerful reminder that 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙣𝙪𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙚𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩, 𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙡-𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜.

And this isn’t just true for plants.

Too often, when something feels "off" in our lives — low energy, lack of motivation, emotional overwhelm — we tend to zoom in on ourselves as the problem. We ask, 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦? 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦?

In my work as a coach and counsellor, I see this pattern often. People blame themselves for struggling, when in reality, their environment may be misaligned with their values, needs, or emotional safety.

🌱 So here’s a gentle reminder:
If you're not feeling your best, include your environment in your check-in. What’s around you? What’s supporting you, or draining you? And most importantly, what small changes could create space for you to thrive again?

As for my gardenia… I think it’s time I made space indoors again to give it the nurturing conditions it deserves. Just like we all do.

👥 Curious how your environment might be impacting your personal or professional growth? Let’s talk.

I offer coaching and counselling sessions to support your journey toward clarity, balance, and well-being.

📩 Feel free to reach out or connect — I’d love to hear your story.

08/09/2025

It was thanks to Sandra Delgado Quist
that I met Chungmei Cheng when she was one of the presenters at the talks being held at The Hague Natural Health Centre. I instantly liked her sincere and genuine nature.

We then met up again at an event held by at Female Ventures and it was there and then that the seed to do a podcast together was planted.

Chungmei is an amazing host, and the conversation with her flowed. We talked about 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩, 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨. We discovered that, despite the fact that we have grown up in different parts of the world, and come from very different cultures, we are connected by our human experience which inspired the work we do today.

Thank you Chungmei for inviting me to be a guest on your podcast, and for your time and interest in my life journey. I will always treasure the gift of our intimate and insightful conversation.

Have a listen. Perhaps you might feel as moved, inspired and empowered as we did on the day of the recording. Of course we would love to read your thoughts in the comments.

🟠 Watch it here: https://lnkd.in/eG6nXDsE

🟢 Give it a listen: https://lnkd.in/et9uk_et

04/09/2025

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗔𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘆𝘀𝗶𝘀 𝗧𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗠𝗲 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴

When I became a parent, I was determined to give my children a more positive and nurturing experience than the one I had growing up.
But the truth is, I didn’t really know 𝘩𝘰𝘸.

I knew what I wanted for them:
✨ To feel deeply loved and wanted.
✨ To grow up with a sense of belonging.
✨ To believe they are good enough, just as they are.

These were all things I had longed for as a child. Instead, I learned to stay invisible because it felt safer in the shadows. I didn’t want that life for my children. I wanted them to feel safe enough to be seen, to be heard, and to take up space in the world.

With no role models and only a stack of parenting books to guide me, I did the best I could with what I had. But over time, I noticed something: despite my efforts, my children were still struggling with some of the same emotional challenges I had faced as a child.

That led me to a powerful insight:
𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧.

This was the turning point in both my personal and professional life.

I began my own journey of self-development, starting with Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and eventually discovering Transactional Analysis (TA). I retrained as a coach and counsellor, and committed to doing the inner work, including therapy.

𝗧𝗔 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗶𝗲𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝘂𝘇𝘇𝗹𝗲.

It gave me a powerful framework to understand how my childhood shaped my patterns, beliefs, and emotional responses. More importantly, it showed me how to break generational cycles, with compassion, awareness, and practical tools.

As the psychotherapist Philippa Perry writes in 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘞𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘏𝘢𝘥 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥:

“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘪𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭, 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘦.”

TA helped me process those emotions, rather than unconsciously pass them on. It helped me become the kind of parent, and now, grandparent, I always hoped to be.

Today, TA is not just part of my healing journey, it’s central to the work I do with clients. Whether I’m working with parents, professionals, or individuals navigating life transitions, I draw on TA to support them in building healthier relationships, with themselves and with others.

At its heart, TA teaches us how to foster safe, strong, emotionally rich relationships. And that’s the foundation not only for healthy families, but for thriving lives.

🔹 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘛𝘈 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘶𝘵.

02/09/2025

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝘁𝗼𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁.

As a coach and counsellor, I see many people hesitate before beginning their journey of growth because that first step requires confronting a difficult truth: acknowledging the ways we’ve hurt ourselves or others, accepting responsibility for our actions, and facing feelings of shame and discomfort.

It’s natural to want to avoid this step and instead to blame, defend, or deny. But when we skip this crucial moment of accountability, we risk staying stuck in negative patterns. What we don’t heal will repeat.

Whether you want to:

✅ Become actively anti-racist
✅ Build truly inclusive habits
✅ Cultivate genuine kindness
✅ Foster transparent relationships

…it all starts with honest self-reflection and courageous acceptance.

This process is rarely comfortable. You might need to:

✅ Let go of long-held beliefs and coping mechanisms.
✅ Reassess important relationships that no longer support your growth.
✅ Face resistance from those around you who fear your transformation.

But with the right support, someone to guide you through the discomfort with compassion and understanding, change becomes possible.

One powerful tip I share with clients is to 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣. Your past does not define you. Your future is shaped by the choices you make today.

If you’re ready to take that first brave step toward lasting change, I’m here to support you.

𝙇𝙚𝙩’𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙘𝙤𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙜𝙚, 𝙘𝙡𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙮, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚.

Visit my website: 𝘸𝘸𝘸.𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘦𝘴4𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦.𝘤𝘰𝘮

01/09/2025

“𝗡𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗴𝗼 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝗮 𝗯𝗮𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲.”

This was something my grandmother used to tell me often. Her message was clear: 𝘙𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴.

Her words shaped me deeply. For years, I carried that wisdom into my relationships, always making the first move to reconcile, even in moments when my boundaries were violated, or when I had every right to be hurt or angry.

As a coach and counsellor today, I understand how many of us carry inherited beliefs that quietly influence how we show up in conflict. My grandmother’s advice was rooted in love and a desire to protect me from regret. However, over time I realised that always being the one to “make peace” came at a cost: I was silencing myself to keep others comfortable. I was confusing premature reconciliation with emotional maturity.

Through both personal growth and professional experience, I’ve learned this:

🔸 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.
🔸 𝘈𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘬𝘦𝘺 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳. 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵, 𝘸𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘬 𝘣𝘺𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨.
🔸 𝘎𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘺.

I now support clients in untangling beliefs like these, ideas that served us once but now keep us from standing in our truth. We can honour the wisdom of those who came before us while also rewriting the scripts that no longer serve who we are becoming.

Sometimes, peace is found not in resolving quickly, but in allowing things to unfold with honesty, care, and time.

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙛𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙤𝙙𝙖𝙮❓
𝙄’𝙙 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧 - 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙬.

28/08/2025

🌱 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 & 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗔𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀

I remember a moment years ago when my youngest daughter, then in primary school, had to give a presentation to her class. As any “helpful” parent might, I began offering advice on how to stay calm and manage nerves.
She stopped me mid-sentence and said with complete confidence:

"𝘔𝘶𝘮, 𝘐’𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘹𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘐’𝘮 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘵!"

That moment stayed with me. Two things became clear:

1️⃣ 𝗜 was the one who was anxious, not her. I was unknowingly projecting my own past discomfort with public speaking onto her.

2️⃣ I felt 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘧 knowing that I hadn’t passed on my fear to her. She was free to experience her own feelings, unburdened by mine.

It made me reflect on how often, as parents (or caregivers), we unintentionally project our fears, anxieties, or unmet dreams onto our children. Sometimes we push, sometimes we protect, not always from what they need, but from what 𝘸𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯’𝘵 yet resolved.

I’m reminded of Khalil Gibran’s beautiful words:

“𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯.𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦’𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧.𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶.”

This truth sits at the heart of both my personal journey raising children, and my professional work as a coach and counsellor.

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙥𝙚 - 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙨, 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙪𝙣𝙢𝙚𝙩 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙨, 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙢𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙛𝙨 - 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙬𝙚 𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙘𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙡𝙮 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙣 (𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙, 𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙤𝙧, 𝙤𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧).

Parenting and personal development are deeply intertwined. The more we grow, the more we empower our children, our mentees and clients to grow freely, as themselves.

If this resonates with you, whether as a parent, leader, or someone exploring your own patterns, I’d love to connect. In my work, I support individuals and parents in breaking cycles, finding clarity, and leading with self-awareness.

Let’s start with 𝘺𝘰𝘶, not just the roles you play.

Let’s talk.

25/08/2025

“𝙆𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣."
- Dr. Gabor Maté

In my work as a 𝙘𝙤𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙧, I often witness how unexamined emotions can impact communication, decision-making, and trust. I also observe
how 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆, our ability to be present with and express our full range of emotions, is central to personal and relational growth.
However, sometimes, our emotional responses feel disproportionate to the moment.

Have you ever:
❌ Snapped or shouted in anger that felt too intense for the situation
❌ Cried uncontrollably and not fully understood why?
❌ Froze with fear when no real danger was present?
❌ Laughed at something that didn’t feel truly funny?

These aren’t simply “overreactions", they’re signs that something deeper is being triggered. They often point to unmet needs, and unprocessed pain. When our response doesn’t fit the current situation, chances are the 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁.

When emotions seem out of context, instead of judgment, exercise 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘆.
Ask yourself: 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸? 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥? 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?

This is the heart of the work I do with clients:
🌿 Cultivating self-awareness.
🌿 Learning to meet emotions with compassion.
🌿 Replacing reactivity with a conscious response.
🌿 Moving from rupture to repair, in ourselves and in our relationships.

If this resonates with you, or you're ready to explore your own inner world with curiosity and kindness, I invite you to connect.

Let’s talk.

21/08/2025

“𝗗𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗱.”
- Toni Morrison, 𝘉𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥

This quote has always resonated deeply with me. For a significant part of my early life, as a Black, mixed-race woman, I was defined by others in ways that made me feel I didn’t belong, that I was not good enough, that I needed to change or shrink myself to be accepted. I internalized those definitions, believing they were true, and that belief shaped my choices, my sense of self, and my path.

It wasn’t until I accessed therapy in my mid-thirties that I began to understand the powerful truth behind Morrison’s words: those definitions belonged to the people who made them, not to me.

That insight marked the beginning of my healing and transformation. It’s a journey I now have the privilege of guiding others through in my work as a counsellor and coach, specialising in mental health and personal growth.

So many of my clients arrive carrying the weight of other people’s expectations, judgments, and projections. They’ve spent years trying to fit into moulds that were never made for them, losing touch with who they truly are in the process.

In our work together, we gently unravel those imposed definitions. We question their origins, challenge their validity, and begin to replace them with self-defined truths rooted in authenticity and self-worth.

The transformation is profound. Reclaiming your own narrative is not just empowering, it’s liberating.

Letting go of inherited definitions allows you to reconnect with your authentic self, who you were before the world tried to tell you who to be.

✨ 𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯?
If you're navigating the complexities of identity, belonging, or self-worth, you're not alone, and you don't have to do it alone.

If you're ready to explore what it means to live from your true self, not someone else's version of you, let’s talk.

18/08/2025

𝗗𝗼 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗲 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀❓

We often think decision-making is just a matter of logic or strategy. But in truth, it's deeply emotional—and closely linked to our mental health and personal history.

One of the biggest emotional drivers? 𝗙𝗲𝗮𝗿.

𝘍𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯.
𝘍𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴.
𝘍𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘫𝘶𝘥𝘨𝘦𝘥.

Sometimes, fear can be so strong that it leads to 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒔—we delay, overthink, or avoid the decision entirely.

🔹 Should you take this job or that one?
🔹 Should you relocate or stay where you are?
🔹 Should you keep investing in this relationship—or let it go?
🔹 Should you finally launch that business you've been dreaming of?

These are not just logistical questions, they’re emotional ones. And often, we get stuck because we haven't explored the inner patterns influencing our indecisiveness.

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝗳𝗲𝘄 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀:

🧠 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗺– “𝘔𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥.”
You were taught that being wrong equals failure. So you freeze rather than risk a misstep.
🚀 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸.

🧠 𝗕𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 – “𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴.”
You suppress emotion and rely only on logic. But real decisions need access to both head and heart.
🚀 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭. 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘥𝘰𝘮.

🧠 𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗢𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 – “𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺.”
You defer to others' needs, fearing conflict or disapproval. As a result you lose touch with what you need, value and feel. If you don’t know what you feel, how will you know what you want. 🚀 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴.

🧠 𝗧𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗱 – “𝘌𝘧𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘴.”
You overcomplicate things and lose clarity.
🚀 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.

🧠 𝗛𝘂𝗿𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗨𝗽 – “𝘉𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘶𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦.”
You rush decisions without pausing to reflect, leading to regret or burnout.
🚀 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯.

𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗮 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻.
If this resonates with you, perhaps it’s time to explore your own decision-making patterns, and what may be getting in the way of clarity, confidence, and alignment.

🔗 Learn more or book a session with me here: 𝘸𝘸𝘸.𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘦𝘴4𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦.𝘤𝘰𝘮

12/08/2025

𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗣𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗰𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗖𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵 & 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗼𝗿.

I spent years working as a pharmacist, a respected profession, but one that left me feeling disconnected from my deeper purpose. Deep down, I knew I was meant to support healing in a different way.

It wasn’t until I began my own healing journey that things shifted. I started writing and sharing my story, not to gain attention, but to speak a truth that might liberate someone else the way it liberated me.

My lived experience of moving between worlds, cultures, identities, and inner landscapes, taught me 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚. But more importantly, it brought me back to myself.

To my surprise, people resonated deeply with the stories I shared. They reached out. They asked for guidance. And I realised that what I was offering - reflection, clarity, and compassion - was exactly what I’d always been meant to do.

Only later did I learn, through Human Design, that I’m a 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳, someone who offers insight, clarity, and direction to others. It made sense. My work now aligns with that role: not to rescue or fix, but to shine a light that guides others on their journey back to themselves.

Today, I support clients as a qualified Coach and Counsellor, integrating powerful concepts and tools from:
🔹𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗔𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘆𝘀𝗶𝘀- to understand inner dynamics, childhood scripts, and relational patterns
🔹 𝗡𝗲𝘂𝗿𝗼-𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴- to shift limiting beliefs and patterns at the unconscious level.

My approach is grounded in empathy, deep listening, and a belief that 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴 - 𝘐 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.

I guide you to:
✅ Let go of the belief that you need someone else to be whole
✅ Cultivate self-acceptance and self-love
✅ Develop compassion for self and others
✅ Use curiosity as a path to growth and lasting change

If you’re navigating a life transition, seeking clarity, or simply ready to reconnect with your true self - I’m here to support you.
📩 Let’s connect. Message me here or on LinkedIn or visit 𝙬𝙬𝙬.𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙥𝙚𝙨𝟒𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚.𝙘𝙤𝙢 to explore working together.

11/08/2025

𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗿, 𝗺𝘆 𝗱𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗰𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁.

We didn’t do anything extravagant, just the simple, everyday things: grocery shopping, cooking together, walks in the park, playground visits, feeding ducks, and dancing (a lot!) to my grandson’s favourite songs. We even managed a beach day.

We talked, we laughed, and sometimes we just sat together in silence.

It reminded me, once again, that joy so often lives in the ordinary moments we share with the people we love.

What left the deepest impression on me was seeing the world through my grandson’s eyes. His 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 at everything - a bird overhead, a puddle on the path, the sound of the wind. A powerful reminder of how magical the present moment can be when we’re truly paying attention.

As adults, we often lose that sense of wonder. But it’s not gone for good, it can be 𝘳𝘦𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘥 through presence, curiosity, and slowing down enough to really notice what’s here.

There is a quote that I love:
“𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚: 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙤, 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧.”

This summer reminded me that I have all three. And that is more than enough.

I came away from their visit feeling grounded, nourished, and recharged. These small meaningful moments help deepen my connection, not just with my family, but also with myself.

This is also the heart of my work in coaching and counselling:
✨ Creating a space to slow down
✨ Reconnect to what matters
✨ Rediscover meaning, purpose, and aliveness

If that is something you are seeking, I would be honoured to walk alongside you.

And you - how has your summer been so far?

Recipes4Change

11/09/2025

11/09/2025

08/09/2025

04/09/2025

02/09/2025

01/09/2025

28/08/2025

25/08/2025

21/08/2025

18/08/2025

12/08/2025

11/08/2025

Adres

Telefoon

Website

Meldingen

Contact De Praktijk

Snelkoppelingen

Delen