Recipes4Change

Recipes4Change www.recipes4change.com Providing support for clients to achieve behavioural change through concepts from Neurolinguistic Programming and Transactional Analysis.

โ€œ๐˜š๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅโ€ฆโ€When I first read these wordsby ๐—ฉ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ ๐—ž๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐—ฟ in ๐˜š๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ ๐˜•๐˜ฐ ๐˜š๐˜ต๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ, they stayed with me.Sh...
31/03/2026

โ€œ๐˜š๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅโ€ฆโ€

When I first read these words
by ๐—ฉ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ ๐—ž๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐—ฟ in ๐˜š๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ ๐˜•๐˜ฐ ๐˜š๐˜ต๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ, they stayed with me.

She describes how shame can quietly stitch itself into our story โ€” through small insults, stares, slurs, and subtle moments of โ€œotheringโ€ that make us feel like we donโ€™t quite belong in our own skin.

But she also writes about her sanctuary: her grandfather. The steady presence who reminded her, again and again, that she was shielded by love.

Many of us have known both experiences. I certainly have.

In my coaching and counselling work, I often see how loud the inner critic becomes over time. It carries the echoes of past experiences that may include racism and discrimination. And we tend to give that voice the microphone.

I often ask my clients one simple question:
๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ง?

Then I encourage them to do something intentional:
Invite that voice into your life arena.

Not by silencing critics completely โ€” as Brenรฉ Brown reminds us, critics will always exist โ€” but by amplifying the voices of those who see you, believe in you, and remind you who you are.

As a coach and counsellor, my role is to support clients to:
๐Ÿ”ธ Identify the origins of shame.
๐Ÿ”ธSeparate their identity from the messages they absorbed.
๐Ÿ”ธReconnect with supportive, regulating relationships.
๐Ÿ”ธAnd strengthen an inner voice that is grounded in compassion rather than criticism.

The relationships we invest in shape our nervous system, our confidence, and our capacity to lead and live authentically.

So Iโ€™ll leave you with this:
๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ โ€œ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ถ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜บ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏโ€?
๐˜ˆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ช๐˜ณ ๐˜ท๐˜ฐ๐˜ช๐˜ค๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜จ๐˜ฉ ๐˜ท๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ถ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ฆ?

Earlier in March, I took some time off from work to focus on something deeply meaningful โ€” welcoming my second grandson ...
30/03/2026

Earlier in March, I took some time off from work to focus on something deeply meaningful โ€” welcoming my second grandson into the world.

This experience gently reaffirmed something I often explore in my work:

๐—Ÿ๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€.

Some we choose. Others arrive unexpectedly. But all of them ask something of us.

With the arrival of a new family member, roles expand and family dynamics shift. Each person begins adjusting, in their own way, to a new reality.

Even my two-year-old grandson is navigating one of his first big transitions. Like all of us, he will need time, support, and space to process what this change means.

Because transitions are not just external events โ€” they are internal experiences.

They deserve to be acknowledged.
They invite reflection.
They ask us to notice whatโ€™s happening beneath the surface.

How we process change shapes how we show up in our relationships, and in the world.

While we canโ€™t avoid lifeโ€™s transitions, we can move through them with more ease when we:
๐Ÿ”ธReflect on our experiences.
๐Ÿ”ธBuild awareness of our inner world.
๐Ÿ”ธAllow time to process, rather than rush through change.

When we do, something shifts.

๐Ÿ’ซWe begin to embrace rather than resist.
๐Ÿ’ซWe feel calmer rather than anxious.
๐Ÿ’ซWe see opportunities rather than obstacles.
๐Ÿ’ซWe feel more grounded and confident.

With the right support, transitions can be meaningful โ€” even transformative.

I feel deeply grateful for the safe arrival of my second grandson, and look forward to this evolving chapter of โ€œgrandmotheringโ€ ๐Ÿงก

๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ค๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ, ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜จ๐˜ฉ ๐˜ช๐˜ต?

I changed careers at 50.This April , my coaching and counselling practice, Recipes4Change, turns 14 โ€” and I turn 64.What...
26/03/2026

I changed careers at 50.

This April , my coaching and counselling practice, Recipes4Change, turns 14 โ€” and I turn 64.

What surprises me the most is this:
I am far happier at 64 than I was at 24.

And the work I do today feels more fulfilling, rewarding and aligned with my purpose.

My path into coaching and counselling was not a straight one.

For many years I worked as a pharmacist while privately carrying emotional struggles rooted in an unsettled childhood, and later experiences of racism and discrimination.

Those experiences shaped the beliefs I held about myself and what I thought was possible in life.

Coaching and counselling changed that trajectory.

Through that work, I slowly โ€œgrew myself up again,โ€ reclaiming my self-worth and becoming deeply curious about how our thoughts, emotions and behaviours shape the lives we create.

That curiosity eventually led me to formal studies in human personality, behaviour and communication.

As people around me noticed the changes in me, they began asking for support with their own challenges.

That is when I realised something important:

The transformation I experienced myself was the work I wanted to offer others.

That insight changed everything.

So, in April 2012, I left pharmacy and committed fully to Recipes4Change.

I still remember introducing it at a networking event and handing out chocolate eggs with my business card โ€” it happened to be Easter that year.

Today I work mainly with internationals โ€” people who have relocated across cultures, rebuilt their lives in new countries, or find themselves reconsidering their direction later in life.

Many of them are navigating identity shifts, career transitions and the emotional challenges of living between cultures.

Often, they wonder whether it might simply be โ€œtoo lateโ€ to change.

My own journey tells me otherwise.

Starting again at 50 taught me that reinvention is possible at any stage of life. It is never too late to reshape your life, pursue new dreams, or correct course.

As April arrives โ€” a month of renewal โ€” Iโ€™m reminded that growth and new beginnings are possible at any age.

Often, meaningful change begins slowly.

๐˜๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ฏโ€™๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ?

If this resonates, feel free to share your thoughts, or story of reinvention, in the comments.

Have you ever noticed that the tasks you procrastinate on the most are not the difficult onesโ€ฆ but the emotional ones?Ye...
23/03/2026

Have you ever noticed that the tasks you procrastinate on the most are not the difficult onesโ€ฆ but the emotional ones?

Years ago, after my divorce, I needed to do a big decluttering project. Old documents, papers and photos had piled up and needed sorting. Yet I kept putting it off โ€” day after day, week after week, even month after month.

Why?

Because the task felt both mundane and emotionally painful.

Every item seemed to trigger a timeline in my head:
โ€œThis was before the move.โ€
โ€œThis was after the divorce.โ€
โ€œThis was before the girls left home.โ€

Before long I would feel emotionally overwhelmed, abandon the project, and promise myself Iโ€™d tackle it another day.

Then one weekend something surprising happened.

I felt unusually energised and motivated, and I managed to get a large part of the job done.
Afterwards I reflected on what had made the difference.

It turned out to be something very small โ€” a simple shift in the phrase I was using in my own mind.

Instead of thinking, โ€œ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฑ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅโ€ or โ€œ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ง๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฑ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ,โ€I began saying to myself:
โ€œ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜„.โ€

Those few words changed everything.

โ€œThat was then and this is nowโ€ carries a tone of acceptance, growth and forward movement. It acknowledges the past without pulling us back into it.

Suddenly the task felt lighter. I was able to keep going. And along the way I even discovered a few forgotten treasures that truly ๐˜ด๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ซ๐˜ฐ๐˜บ โ€” as organising consultant Marie Kondo would say.

This experience reminded me of something I see often in my work as a coach and counsellor:
๐Ÿ‘‰ Procrastination is rarely about laziness.
More often itโ€™s about emotion.

When a task is connected to grief, change, fear, or unresolved memories, our minds naturally try to avoid it.

But when we identify the emotion behind the resistance, and find a healthier narrative, something shifts. Momentum returns. What once felt heavy becomes manageable.

Sometimes the smallest change in perspective can unlock the energy we need to move forward.

That was then. This is now.
A simple phrase โ€” but a powerful reminder that while our past shapes us, it doesnโ€™t have to hold us back.

Have you ever noticed an emotional reason behind something you were procrastinating on?

In 2012, I listened to Beyoncรฉ sing I Was Here for United Nations on World Humanitarian Day.The lyrics stayed with me:โ€œI...
20/03/2026

In 2012, I listened to Beyoncรฉ sing I Was Here for United Nations on World Humanitarian Day.

The lyrics stayed with me:
โ€œI wanna say I lived each day, until I died
know that I had something in somebody's lifeโ€ฆโ€

Coincidentally, 2012 was also the year I began my practice, Recipes4Change.

At the time, I simply knew I wanted to make a difference. I didnโ€™t yet fully understand what that would look like. But over the years, as a coach and counsellor, the meaning of those lyrics has deepened.

Why are we here?
What do we hope to leave behind?
Are we making the world better in the ways available to us?

In my work, I have learned that legacy isnโ€™t about grand gestures.
Itโ€™s built in the quiet moments.

๐Ÿ’ซ A client who feels truly heard for the first time.
๐Ÿ’ซ A difficult conversation that creates clarity and courage.
๐Ÿ’ซ A shift in perspective that opens the door to change.
๐Ÿ’ซ A small act of compassion that transforms a life story.

We donโ€™t need to be famous, powerful, or extraordinary to leave our mark. As ordinary as we are, showing up with empathy, presence, and integrity is enough.

Change is always possible. I witness it every time someone entrusts me with their story and chooses to grow beyond their current chapter.

That, to me, is what it means to say: I was here.

We are all here. The question is โ€” how will we show up?

Have you ever had a โ€œguardian angelโ€ in your life?Not the kind with wings.The kind who shows up in your life at exactly ...
19/03/2026

Have you ever had a โ€œguardian angelโ€ in your life?

Not the kind with wings.

The kind who shows up in your life at exactly the right moment โ€” and quietly change its direction.

When I was 17, my life was turned upside down.

My family fled Ghana after a coup dโ€™รฉtat.
During that turmoil, my cousin โ€” someone I grew up with and loved deeply โ€” died suddenly.

Bringing her body back to Lebanon was a deeply traumatic experience. But at the time, no one spoke about trauma. Life simply moved on.

Shortly after arriving in Lebanon, I had to sit entrance exams to re-enter school. I remember staring at the exam paperโ€ฆ unable to process anything.

Unsurprisingly, I failed.

I was placed a year lower in the literary stream โ€” a track often reserved for students considered less academically gifted.

Months later, as I slowly recovered, my academic performance improved dramatically.

One teacher noticed something didnโ€™t add up. He asked how someone performing at my level had ended up there.

When I explained the circumstances around my exam, he was outraged by what he called an injustice.

Without me even asking, he decided to advocate for me. He pushed the school administration to give me another chance: a new exam. If I pass, I can transfer to the scientific stream.

This time, I passed.

I will never forget his triumphant smile when he told me:
โ€œ๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ต. ๐˜ž๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ.โ€

In that moment, I felt truly seen.

His intervention changed the trajectory of my education and opened doors that might otherwise have remained closed.

A few years ago, I reconnected with him on Facebook. He is retired now.

When I thanked him again and asked if he remembered me, his reply brought tears to my eyes:

โ€œ๐˜–๐˜ง ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ, ๐˜™๐˜ข๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ข. ๐˜ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ. ๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ถ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ด ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ.โ€

In my work today as a coach and counsellor, I often think about people like him.

Sometimes all it takes is one person who sees your potential when life circumstances have temporarily knocked you off balance.

We all encounter these โ€œguardian angelsโ€.

And sometimes, through the work we do, we have the privilege of becoming that person for someone else.

Many people succeed not only because of talent, but because someone believed in them when they couldnโ€™t believe in themselves.

Iโ€™d love to hear your story:

๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ต?

One of the most common patterns I see in my coaching and counselling work is this:People are very skilled at giving reco...
16/03/2026

One of the most common patterns I see in my coaching and counselling work is this:
People are very skilled at giving recognition to others โ€” yet deeply uncomfortable giving recognition to themselves.

In Transactional Analysis, we use the term โ€œStrokeโ€ to refer to a unit of recognition, anything that acknowledges another person.

Strokes are essential for emotional well-being, social bonding, motivation, and psychological growth. We do engage in giving strokes to ourselves too in the form of self-talk, self-appreciation, and taking care of personal needs.

What I have observed is that people will acknowledge othersโ€™ efforts, kindness, and strengths with ease.
But when it comes to themselves, recognition is often:
๐Ÿ”ธ minimised
๐Ÿ”ธdismissed
๐Ÿ”ธpostponed (โ€œIโ€™ll feel good when I achieve Xโ€)
๐Ÿ”ธor replaced with self-criticism

Such behaviour patterns are often learned early in life.

Many of us grew up with messages like:
โŒ โ€œDonโ€™t get a big headโ€
โŒ โ€œYou have to earn praiseโ€
โŒ โ€œOthers come firstโ€
โŒ โ€œRest or appreciation is a reward, not a rightโ€

So, we internalise the belief that self-recognition is not okay.

Over time, this can show up as:
๐Ÿ”ธchronic self-doubt.
๐Ÿ”ธoverworking or people-pleasing.
๐Ÿ”ธdifficulty receiving compliments.
๐Ÿ”ธseeking validation in ways that donโ€™t truly nourish us.

In coaching and counselling, part of the work is gently expanding that stroke economy:
โœ… learning to recognise yourself without conditions.
โœ… noticing when old rules are running the show.
โœ… practising healthier ways of giving and receiving recognition.

This isnโ€™t about ego or entitlement.
Itโ€™s about meeting a very real human need โ€” consciously, compassionately, and sustainably.

๐Ÿ‘‰ Where in your life might you be withholding unconditional recognition from yourself โ€” and what might change if you didnโ€™t?

๐Ÿ‘‰ How comfortable are you with receiving positive strokes without deflecting or minimising them?

You started your business, or your life in a new country, to create something meaningful.So why do you sometimes feel dr...
12/03/2026

You started your business, or your life in a new country, to create something meaningful.
So why do you sometimes feel drained, reactive, or unsure of yourself?

Living and working internationally can be exciting and deeply enriching. But it can also bring unexpected emotional and mental challenges.

New environments ask a lot from us.
New systems.
New cultural expectations.
Often a new language.

And while weโ€™re busy adapting externally, something important can happen internally: under pressure, we tend to fall back on old coping strategies that were shaped by our personal history.

Strategies that once helped us survive, or belong, may now show up as:
๐Ÿ”ธSaying yes when we actually mean no.
๐Ÿ”ธOver-giving to others while side-lining our own needs.
๐Ÿ”ธDoubting ourselves even when we are capable.
๐Ÿ”ธStriving for perfection out of fear of being judged.
๐Ÿ”ธFeeling reactive instead of grounded and intentional.

This is something I see often in my work as a coach and counsellor supporting internationals.

When we move across countries and cultures, we donโ€™t leave our personal history behind. Our experiences, beliefs, and coping patterns travel with us. In unfamiliar environments, they can become even more visible.

The work I do with clients is about developing self-awareness around these patterns. Together we explore how past experiences may still shape current reactions, decisions, and relationships.

Because when you begin to understand your own patterns, something powerful happens.

๐Ÿ’ซYou move from reacting automatically to responding with awareness.
๐Ÿ’ซFrom adapting out of fear to making choices from a place of autonomy.

This doesnโ€™t mean life abroad, or running a purpose-driven career, suddenly becomes easy. But it does become clearer and more intentional.

One small practice I often share with clients is this:
When you notice yourself feeling overwhelmed or reactive, pause and ask yourself:
๐Ÿค”What is really being triggered here?
๐Ÿค”Is this about the present moment, or does it connect to an older story?

That moment of reflection can create just enough space to choose a different response.
And thatโ€™s where real change begins.

If you are living or working internationally, Iโ€™d be curious to hear:
๐Ÿ’ฌ What has helped you stay grounded while navigating new environments?

Almost 30 years ago, I had a conversation on a beach in Oman that stayed with me ever since.We were both mothers watchin...
10/03/2026

Almost 30 years ago, I had a conversation on a beach in Oman that stayed with me ever since.

We were both mothers watching our young children building sandcastles while we chatted, sharing pieces of our lives.

At the time, I was going through a particularly difficult period and the environment around me didnโ€™t feel psychologically safe. I remember feeling intrigued by something she shared.

She told me that when her relationship with her boyfriend (now her husband) became serious, she booked herself a series of counselling sessions.

I asked her why.
Was something wrong? Was she struggling with something she needed to fix?

She smiled and said the opposite was true.

She felt fine.

But she wanted to make sure there was nothing dormant within her that might one day negatively affect her relationship or the way she would parent her future children.

I remember how unusual that sounded to me at the time. I grew up in a culture where mental and emotional health were rarely discussed openly, and seeking therapy was often associated with shame or crisis.

Yet here was someone choosing counselling not as a last resort, but as a proactive step.

I asked her if she would recommend the experience.

Her answer was simple and confident:
โ€œ๐˜๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ท๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ถ๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ง.โ€

Those words stayed with me.

Years later, when I experienced counselling myself, I fully understood what she meant. It truly was one of the most valuable gifts I have ever given myself.

Today, in my work as a coach and counsellor, I often think about that conversation.

So many people wait until they feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or broken before they reach out for support.

But what if we approached our emotional wellbeing the same way we approach other aspects of our lives?

We service our cars regularly to make sure they run well.
We invest in professional development to grow our careers.

What if we also checked in on our inner world with the same care and intention?

Coaching and counselling are not only for moments of crisis. They can also be spaces for reflection, growth, and prevention.

Sometimes the most powerful step we can take is simply deciding to understand ourselves better โ€” before life forces us to.

And perhaps that really is one of the most valuable gifts we can give ourselves.

I grew up believing that as a woman, my role was to be nice, agreeable, and take care of others.Donโ€™t show anger.Be acco...
08/03/2026

I grew up believing that as a woman, my role was to be nice, agreeable, and take care of others.

Donโ€™t show anger.
Be accommodating.
Make sure everyone else is comfortable.

Even when these messages were not said directly, they were everywhere โ€“ in expectations, in subtle comments, in what was praised and what was discouraged.

As a young woman, I often felt frustrated by these gender expectations. Intuitively, I believed education would open the door to independence and freedom.

Education eventually led me to travel and live in different parts of the world. What struck me was how familiar these patterns were across cultures. While the details differed, the underlying message was often similar: women are expected to adapt, accommodate, and carry the emotional load.

Today, in my work as a coach and counsellor supporting international clients, I see how these expectations continue to shape many womenโ€™s lives.

Many of the women I work with are highly capable, accomplished, and resilient. Yet they often carry an invisible burden โ€“ managing everyone elseโ€™s emotions, holding families and workplaces together, while quietly containing their own stress and needs.

Over time, this emotional labour can take a real toll on both physical and mental wellbeing.

When I became a mother, I knew I wanted something different for my daughters. I tried to raise them to value their voice, their boundaries, and their ambitions. But as Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie reminds us, raising confident daughters is not enough โ€“ we must also raise emotionally aware sons. Real change happens when the expectations placed on women begin to shift across society as a whole.

Through my work with internationals navigating cultures, identities, and expectations, I see often how powerful it can be when people begin to question the roles they were taught to play.

This International Women's Day, Iโ€™m reflecting on the women who raised me, the women I meet in my work, and the next generation we are shaping together.

Iโ€™m curious:
What messages about gender did you grow up with โ€“ and how have they shaped the way you show up in your life or work today?

During my pharmacy degree, we were encouraged to gain summer experience across different sectors to help inform our futu...
05/03/2026

During my pharmacy degree, we were encouraged to gain summer experience across different sectors to help inform our future career choices.

As an international student in the UK, my visa didnโ€™t allow for paid work. So, I took a volunteer position at a big pharmacy in London.

9โ€“5.
Monday to Friday.
Peak-time commuting from outside London.

After a couple of weeks I realised that without a salary, I couldnโ€™t afford the daily commute.

I faced a dilemma.
Do I quit quietly โ€ฆ or speak up?

I chose to have an honest conversation with my employer.

To my surprise, my employer offered to cover my travel costs so I could stay.

I had assumed that because I was โ€œjust a volunteer,โ€ my presence didnโ€™t matter much.

That moment taught me something I now see repeatedly in my work as a coach and counsellor:

We often underestimate our value.

Many of the internationals I support carry quiet narratives such as:
๐Ÿ”ธโ€I should just be grateful to be here.โ€
๐Ÿ”ธโ€I donโ€™t want to cause inconvenience.โ€
๐Ÿ”ธโ€Others are more qualified/confident/deserving than me.โ€
๐Ÿ”ธโ€I shouldnโ€™t ask.โ€

These beliefs can shrink our sense of worth and silence our needs.

But what I learned early on is this:

๐Ÿ’ซYour contribution has value, even if your contract says โ€œvolunteer.โ€
๐Ÿ’ซYour voice matters, even if you feel like the outsider.
๐Ÿ’ซAsking for support is not weakness, itโ€™s self-advocacy.

That experience also planted another seed.

It showed me that work is not only about money. Itโ€™s about growth, contribution, connection, and purpose.

So, when I later chose to leave pharmacy, a secure and well-paid profession, to become a coach and counsellor, I wasnโ€™t discouraged by those who questioned the financial logic.
I had already learned that fulfilment and alignment matter deeply.

Today, supporting internationals to build confidence, navigate transitions, and recognise their own worth gives me something no salary alone ever could.

Yes, earning matters.
But so does meaning.

Have you ever underestimated your value in a new environment?
Iโ€™d love to hear your reflections.

When I was 24, I saw photos of myself as a baby for the very first time.There I was, carried in my motherโ€™s arms at the ...
03/03/2026

When I was 24, I saw photos of myself as a baby for the very first time.

There I was, carried in my motherโ€™s arms at the hospital in Ghana where I was born. Six months of my early life, captured in a handful of images.

No words can fully describe what I felt in that moment. Those photographs were more than pictures. They were physical proof of my beginnings. Evidence of love. Of care. Of how my story began.

That experience impacted me.

Itโ€™s one of the reasons I value photography so deeply. Before digital cameras, I printed photos from analogue films and created albums for my children. I framed them around our home. I wanted them to have something I did not โ€” a visible, tangible record of their arrival into my life. A way to trace their own personal history.

During lockdown, when my daughters and I found ourselves in three different countries, I created a collage of photos on a board in my kitchen. I would stop and look at it often. It brought joy. Hope. Perseverance. It reminded me that love can conquer distance.

Even now, when we look at those photos together, I see their delight. Their laughter. Their growing sense of self-worth. Itโ€™s amazing how much we forget, and how a single image can bring it all back.

As a coach and counsellor, I have witnessed the power of photographs in a different way.

Sometimes I invite clients to bring a personal photo into a session. A childhood picture. A moment in time. A portrait that carries meaning.

What happens next is often profound.

Photos bypass our usual defences. They reconnect us with feelings, places, people, and experiences we may not have accessed in years. A client speaking about a photo often shares factual and emotional insights that had previously felt out of reach. One image can unlock a story that words alone could not find.

Even the way clients respond to artwork in my practice room, what they see, what they feel, reveals something meaningful about their inner world.

A single picture may say a thousand words. But more importantly, it can help us find our own.

I encourage you to make space, from time to time, to sit with old photographs โ€” alone or with those you love. Notice what stirs. What memories surface. What strengths you rediscover.

You may find that your past still holds resources for the present.

Adres

Oostduinlaan 22
The Hague
2596JN

Meldingen

Wees de eerste die het weet en laat ons u een e-mail sturen wanneer Recipes4Change nieuws en promoties plaatst. Uw e-mailadres wordt niet voor andere doeleinden gebruikt en u kunt zich op elk gewenst moment afmelden.

Contact De Praktijk

Stuur een bericht naar Recipes4Change:

Delen

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn
Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
Share on WhatsApp Share on Instagram Share on Telegram