Movimental

07/06/2023

Nu știu cm este pentru voi, dar eu, în ciuda faptului că sunt femeie, nu pot face două lucruri în același timp. Mai exact, nu pot crea lucruri și comunica despre ele în paralel.

Așa se face că am lăsat să treacă neobservat acest proiect, care mi-a devenit atât de drag în ultimele luni: o serie de Conversații Care Contează by Cristina Dinu-Popa pe tema divorțului, împreună cu Cristina Dinu-Popa

Suntem deja la al șaptelea episod publicat, iar feedback-urile au început să curgă. 🎉 🌟

Pornind de la întrebările voastre, am dezvoltat subiecte precum:
• Ce este de evitat atunci când le comunicăm copiilor despre divorț?
• Cum pot menține o relație cât mai bună cu celălalt părinte în situația divorțului?
• Cum pot reduce impactul emoțional asupra copilului?
• Cum arată divorțul din perspectiva copilului?
• Cum introduc un nou partener de cuplu în viața copilului meu?

Am acoperit și alte subiecte esențiale care sper că vă vor fi de ajutor.

În săptămânile următoare, voi dezvolta conținutul fiecărui episod în parte, astfel încât să găsiți cu ușurință informația de care aveți nevoie. În comentarii veți găsi linkul către toate episoadele seriei "Conversații care contează. Cum le vorbim copiilor despre divorț?" pentru a vă oferi o sursă centralizată de informații. 📚

🤔 Vrem ca aceste discuții să fie cât mai relevante pentru voi, așa că vă invităm să lăsați întrebările voastre (anonim) în formularul din comentarii. Ne dorim să fim alături de voi și să răspundem la nevoile voastre într-un mod util și eficient. 🙏

Mulțumim pentru implicare și abia așteptăm să ne alăturăm în aceste conversații importante! 💬✨

15/05/2023

Daca cunosti parinti care traverseaza sau au trecut prin divort si le-ar fi utila o sedinta de consiliere pe acest subiect, in aceasta campanie La Primul Bebe București si La Primul Bebe Muntenia, Oltenia și Dobrogea licitez 3 intalniri individuale.

Las in comentarii link-urile catre postari

Va astept cu drag pe grup.

15/02/2023

Pe unele subiecte imi este greu sa ma opresc din vorbit.
Iar Cristina este atat de invitanta la discutii.. 🙂
Asa ca vor mai urma si alte episoade.
Dar, pana atunci, gasiti aici primul episod "Cum le vorbim copiilor despre divort":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8WXO3UhJSc

Iar in comentarii, gasiti un formular in care puteti adresa propriile voastre intrebari pe acest subiect.

Host- Cristina Dinu-Popa (psihoterapeut & consultant pt inovatie in educatie)With - Alina Porumboiu (psihoterapeut)

30/01/2023

Pregatesc o noua conversatie care conteaza si astept intrebarile voastre in comentarii.

Voi inregistra curand, impreuna cu Alina Porumboiu, un material intitulat "Cum le vorbim copiilor despre divort?"

Scrieti intrebarile sau framantarile voastre pe aceasta tema sau ale prietenilor/cunoscutilor vostri.
Noi vom incerca sa adresam in conversatiile noastre temele adresate de voi.

Am facut si un formular pentru intrebari, sa fie mai simplu sa puneti intrebari anonime, daca asta va doriti: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1p-e1C5zeonh9-mzGDlxRv9G3HDVwRgvNJbnAAHTESwo/

Ce ai vrea sa stii?

11/01/2023

Nu mai intereseaza de ce ai divortat, ci cm ai divortat ❗️

Atunci cand aflam ca cineva divorteaza, primul lucru pe care vrem sa il stim este “ De ce❓”.

Si nu pentru ca raspunsul ar schimba cu ceva datele problemei, ci pentru ca atat de mult ne sperie imprevizibilitatea acestui eveniment, incat, daca ii atribuim o cauza, credem ca il putem controla.
Daca mai sunt implicati si copii, ne transpune brusc intr-un taram al haosului pe care nu vrem vreodata sa il traim. Dar oare ce simte celalalt?

Din acest motiv, inainte sa intrebi “de ce?”, poti incepe cu
“Si cm esti tu acum?”
“Ce te sperie?”
“Ce te ingrijoreaza?”
“Cum i-ai comunicat pana acum copilului?”

Si stii ceva? Mai bine, nu intreba “de ce?” deloc pentru ca oricum risti sa primesti raspunsuri foarte diferite la anumite perioade de timp.
Iar aceste raspunsuri pot bloca procesul interioar al celuilalt de a depasi vinovatia, furia si resentimentele.
Isi pune oricum intrebarea aceasta de 100 de ori pe zi iar raspunsurile sunt mereu alte parti din povestea sa interioara.

O mama care traverseaza divortul are nevoie de:
〽️Ajutor practic,
〽️Resurse concrete
Si
〽️Momente in care sa fie ascultata fara a-i fie alimenta povestea.

Are nevoie de spatiu si companie in acelasi timp.

10/01/2023

Oare voi reusi sat trec prin asta❓

Multe mame, inaintea ta, au reusit si sunt dovada ca la capatul tunelului apare si lumina.

Exista evident si scenariile mai putin pozitive in care te poti adanci (copilul va fi afectat, nu ma voi descurca, voi fi o mama mereu epuizata, nu vom putea colabora niciodata ca doi parinti, etc.).

〽️Poate ca momentul acesta este asemeni unei carari pe marginea prapastiei, insa, e mai bine sa privesti in fata, cu atentie doar pe urmatorul pas.

Sa privesti catre ceea ce sta in puterea ta, catre a preveni durere nenecesara si a construi rezilienta in tine si in cel mic si catre alte femei ce te pot inspira.

Fie ca esti in plin proces sau te confrunti deja cu efectele divortului in viata de zi cu zi, ai nevoie in primul rand sa auzi ca se poate:

✔️Se poate sa treci de la sentimental intern de esec in a mentine o famile la capacitatea de a construi ceva nou;

✔️Se poate sa ii oferi in continuare o baza de sanatate mentala si relationala copilului tau, indiferent de cele intamplate;

✔️Se poate sa transformi scenariul conflictului si al resentimentelor fata de celalalt parinte in colaborare si acceptarea rolului sau;

❤️‍🩹Se poate sa fii TU din nou chiar si cu o noua eticheta atasata - “mama divortata”.

Si nu o spun eu, ci milioane de ale mame separate.

📭Si daca vrei sa aflii cu ce resurse pot veni in intampinarea ta in aceasta perioada, imi poti scrie un mesaj privat sau te poti inscrie la grupul de suport pentru mame (link in comments)

19/12/2022

Un cadou pe care ti-l poti oferi tie sau unei prietene aflate in contextul separarii.

⭐️Incepand cu 24 ianuarie, dau startul grupului de suport psihologic adresat mamelor ce au traversat sau traverseaza procesul de divort.

Divortul nu este un eveniment traumatic, ci un proces, iar modul in care il parcurgem si ii insotim pe copii prin el poate face diferenta in drumul catre rezilienta.

Faptul ca separarea parintilor “doare” pentru copil, indiferent de varsta, nu mai est un secret.

🤷‍♀️“Ce putem face cu suferinta copilului si cm il putm insoti prin ea in timp ce ne gestionam propria durere ca si parinti?” - devine o intrebare tot mai complexa.

In grup, insa, uneori e mai usor sa gasesti raspunsuri, si cel mai important, sa realizezi ca nu esti singura care se confrunta cu aceste intrebari.

Vor fi 3 directii de lucru pe care ni le propunem:
🎯relatia cu propria persoana,
🎯relatia cu copilul
🎯relatia cu fostul partener
in contextul schimarii.

Si pentru fiecare dintre aceste trei directii, vom explora
🎯strategii de preventie (pregatind urmatoarele etape ale acestei tranzitii)
🎯strategii de interventie emotionala (cum putem interveni optim pentru a diminua riscurile, a creea spatiu pentru procesarea emotionala si a ramane in control in fata vartejului emotional)
🎯strategii de resemnificare (ce pot face cu evenimentele/ situatiile care au lasat o amprenta puternic negativa in viata copilului si cm pot reveni asupra lor?)

⭐️Divortul nu este o sentinta, este un proces asupra caruia ai control.

Grup de suport psihologic:

8 intalniri, online
Martea intre orele 11:00 – 12:30
Zilele: 24, 31 ianuarie, 7, 14, 28 februarie, 7, 14, 21 martie
Numarul participantilor este limitat – 10 persoane/ grup
Pretul pentru cele 8 intalniri – 1200 lei
Moderator: Alina Porumboiu - https://www.movimental.nl/about
Pentru inscrieri, trimite un mesaj privat sau un email la adresa [email protected]

07/12/2022

Saptamana aceasta, impreuna cu o mana de femei curajoase, am dus la bun sfarsit promisiunea facuta in cadrul campaniei La Primul Bebe .

Mai exact, ne-am intalnit in cadrul atelierului "Separare si rezilienta" pentru a explora relatia cu copilul, cu fostul partener si cu propria persoana in contextul separarii.

Este un subiect vast si sensibil, din care oricat am intelege nu avem cm sa eliminam amalgamul de trairi, ganduri si actiuni in care nu ne recunoastem. Este ca si cm ai incerca sa distrugi si sa construiesti in acelasi timp, incercand mereu sa tii copilul cat mai la adapost de dezordinea creata in jur.

Iar fiecare mama care trece prin asta este de multe ori un erou ascuns. Si pentru multe femei din Romania, asceta este abia inceputul.

Cu multa recunostinta mamelor care au participat la atelierul de luni!

Ps: Tatii nu sunt exclusi din cele spuse mai sus, este in egala masura valabil si pentru trairile lor.

Incepand cu luna ianuarie voi da startul si altor intalniri de grup, dedicate mamelor separate de tatal copilului.

22/10/2022

The 5th principle of the Systemic Approach is about the life force flow.

In the family system, life is passed on from one generation to the other. The older people give to the younger ones. And this is the natural flow of life, love, and care. Children can receive infinitely from their parents, and together with it, they will also have an existential debt that can`t ever be paid back.
What they received as children, was not in their power to decide, so they are not responsible for it. However, nor can they demand something else, something more, or something better. They receive what is available at a certain moment in time.

How much freedom do you experience in your family?

19/10/2022

And this is my favorite one. It`s always difficult to keep the balance. Either too much or too little, the amount of offering and receiving in each relationship (at work, in a couple, in a friendship) is always important if you want to keep the relationship alive.

The 3rd principle of the Systemic Approach - Exchange

Have you ever given so much that the other could do nothing but leave?

18/10/2022

Where and how are you standing in your systems?

2nd principle of the Systemic Approach - Order

17/10/2022

This week will be about the 5 principles that the Systemic Approach is based on.

1st principle is belonging

How often do you take your place in the systems that you belong to?

13/10/2022

The last sessions with different mothers brought this sensitive subject into the discussion.

Returning to work after maternity often comes with many self-doubts, a lack of trust in your professional competencies, and the overall sensation that you are not in shape anymore. Your professional identity is covered in dust and you can`t find your glamour anymore.

Fancy professional terminology is exchanged on social media that constantly feeds the fear of missing out while the blurred mind seems to focus less and less.

However, what is not written in your CV, after maternity, are hours of practice of precious high skills in various working fields:

05/10/2022

Learning is one of my coping strategies around stress. It creates order in my mind, there is a certain knowledge that I can acquire, and it calms down my anxiety about not knowing enough, more of that, it`s available at any time. As with any coping strategy sometimes they serve, and sometimes they hinder your growth.

That`s how I caught myself having this thought the moment I moved to Utrecht “What could I study now?” However, I helped myself from the impulse and I let the knowledge come to me instead of going compulsory towards it.

This is how I came across “Individual Parenting Constellations”, a unique approach that allows the parents to represent the challenging situation in the systemic view and to see more than it`s available at the surface regarding their children.

This weekend I started the Module 1 training, I met Marianne Langemeijer, author and method developer, and I understood how “when every family member takes their appropriate place in the family, without excess baggage from the past, parenting becomes effortless.” I gained a lot of clarity as a professional and as a parent (and all this in Dutch :).

04/10/2022

There was a time in my life when I tried to understand myself as an individual in this world, my strengths, and vulnerabilities, my gifts, and my purposes. Then, there was a period to see myself in relationships with others, my patterns, dynamics, and roles. And then comes a moment when there is a longing for deeper knowledge regarding my intuition (“that connection between conscious and subconscious”). That`s when, for a moment, I stop being smart and start being wiser while allowing myself “to be” more than “to think about being”. “Beyond” is the place to experience it every time I immerse in the process, either as a participant or as part of the team, the magic is there.

I find it as a free dive in the group context – no extra equipment is needed, you are in a direct connection to the phenomena around, you go as deep as you want, and you can have access to an entire world underneath the surface while the others are witnesses of your personal exploration.

9th Beyond 10-14th of November 2022, Ommen, The Netherlands.

Beyond is open for all who did Choice, practicing Coaching, beyond or similar training in the past at Olde Vechte foundation.

In beyond we work with a group of maximum 20 persons, On the moment we have 8 confirmed registrations and 12 open places.

Intuition is the connection between your conscious and your subconscious. Through your intuition, you connect to a larger network, a field which we are all part of. This is an energetic field that exceeds time and place. This way you can tap into a source of information that is infinite.

Beyond is all about connecting to your deeper understanding called intuition and exploring the changes that this brings. While tuning in to this non-local and timeless layer, you will be able to let go of old patterns, to detach old programs in your system and eventually to find your own inner guidance.
Out of this approach, the event is focused on constellations and systemic work.
You can read more information and register here: https://oldevechte.com/open-trainings/beyond/

23/09/2022

Have you ever expected a major move like “moving to a new country” to stand on this list?
And where there is loss, there should be also grief.

All these events are out of children`s control, but how kids process or are helped to process the grief around them can make a difference. It`s not just about the impactful losses that require our attention, because kids learn how to relate to loss from every single experience and their resilience is increased after well-processed grief.

This means that whenever we can observe, identify, and guide our kids’ mourning, we ease their emotional way in the future. And a major move can be one of these situations.

In many transitions, in our family, I would find my son crying for no reason. I would gently invite him towards the possibility of grieving by holding him and simply asking “What are the tears behind these tears about now?”

If you connect your kid`s mourning with the major move that your family is about to make or has already made (even some months after), here are 5 suggestions that could guide you on the way: https://www.movimental.nl/post/what-are-the-tears-behind-your-tears-about

17/09/2022

“Kids can easily adapt! Don`t worry!”

When you move to a new country with your family, this is what you most probably hear from the people around you.

Therefore, changing your home, language, community, and country without a solid bridge between the two worlds can also create misconnections or disconnections in future life.

In the end, kids will adapt anyway, but thriving and growing require also solid roots that can be built thread by thread.

Here are 5 ideas for parents and children to start building bridges between the two worlds (the home country and the new one):
https://www.movimental.nl/post/building-bridges-moving-to-a-new-country

14/09/2022

Working with teens has always been closest to my soul. Teenage years are like being on a football field, with a team where every day a player is changed. Parents are often complaining about their teens for being too inert, static or too chaotic, while so much movement is happening inside, from the intense prefrontal brain area activity to the struggle of integrating increasingly complex emotions.
Managing this ongoing changing Self while being constantly demanded to perform academically and socially is no easy task even for a good manager!
Going to therapy is not “seeking help”. It is having a space where you can slow down the game, zoom out, reorganize the players and start again.

“What I enjoy about working with Alina is the interweaving between her professionalism and human warmth brought in every session. We started working with her at a turning point for our family, when our 12-year-old boy was going through a difficult transition towards adolescence, during the pandemic.
Since then, Alina has been guiding us in this challenging journey as parents. She has been supporting us in a better understanding of his life changes and the way they interfere with the dynamic of the entire family. Together, we can look beyond behaviors and have a deeper connection with him as our son. “

12/09/2022

Whenever launching a new project or idea my friends opinion matters the most. And this is because I`m lucky enough to have really honest people around. People that know all my tricks avoiding those big moves that might feel scary to me, but who have also high standards.

And when they share with me their words of appreciation, I bow, bring that energy inwards and keep the same direction.

Therefore, if you know someone that decided, is in the process of, or already is an expat and that could benefit from my counseling sessions, please send me an email at [email protected]

Please keep in mind that they should be Romanian or English language speakers. Thank you for your support in building a community!

10/09/2022

What have YOU moved inside this summer?

08/09/2022

It`s difficult without friends around. Kids seem to connect with each other so fast. But when you don`t belong, (because you don`t know the language, the game, the pace), the start seems impossible.

But the cow that lives right in the park, next to your house is always there available for a conversation.

He has a passion for animals, but still…

That`s how we spent the first 2 weeks visiting the same domestic animals in the park, every day, feeding the same ducks on the lake and patting the same cats on the street. Until another lonely nerd appeared and asked: “Hey, but have you seen the rats?”
And the adventure began.

"Give me a fixed point and I will move the whole world" Archimedes
"Give me one connection and I will move his whole world" An expat parent

06/09/2022

For most of my life, big moves have been a part of my personality. It started out with actual dance – I have been in love with contemporary styles for as long as I can remember. Then, the idea of movement became more and more subtle – from switching to freelancing, to moving to a new country when that seemed right.

As a therapist, part of what I enjoy is walking alongside the people I work with, as they make those big moves themselves – whether it’s healing from past traumas, smoothly transitioning to a new stage in their lives, moving on from a divorce, or adjusting to the challenges of being an expat.

Movimental came as a natural extension of this – as a way of finding a new path while moving both one's body and mind to a more coherent and balanced state.

A personal belief turned into a significant career move: When there is an urge to make everything stop, better make it move.
https://www.movimental.nl/

04/09/2022

As a child, I would spend my summer holidays practicing underwater forward rolls and testing my capacity to hold my breath. At first it was fun, then anxiety and even panic occurred. After that point, it was simply quiet. Everything would stop: the mind, the big movements, the excitement. That was my calm place.

I continued playing that game, in different ways, before each big move that I was about to make. And this summer was no exception.

I dived into planning, managing thrilling emotions, setting tones of practical things and taking the step to move to Utrecht, Netherlands.

One second of clarity, a few months of work and all these were in place.

I paused, took a deep breath and a new move started.

Mihaela MJ and Andrei Lasc were my partners in crime. They shook me out of crazy ideas, took the useful ones and created a beautiful puzzle called “Movimental”

So here I am, starting a new phase of life, in Utrecht and working with people from different countries on how to move through transitions in life.

I invite you to discover this new direction on my website: https://www.movimental.nl/