Psiholog Monica Calfa

22/07/2025

In-between sessions, a glimpse into the life outside while preparing to be present with what lives within.
space

08/01/2025

May the new year bring you beauty. In a world that is many times too fast, asking of us to be productive and keep on doing, remember that it's ok to slow down and be. Just the way you are.

Inspiration from:

05/10/2022

Many of us struggle with changing ourselves, but that also leads to a struggle against ourselves, a fight that sometimes gets us stuck and unable to find a way out; this is a fight that would never truly have a winner. In gestalt therapy, according to the paradoxical theory of change, “change occurs when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to become what he is not”.

Last weekend I started a new journey in my training as a psychotherapist and once more, I saw myself caught in this battle of change, of who I want to be and which I am not yet. Only this time I sat with my emotions, the rollercoaster, the heaviness of it all, but also with the discomfort it brought on. This time I allowed it space and I noticed how the energy changed, from an outward, reactive impulse - aimed to quickly fix and get out of the discomfort -, to an inward flow that helped me settle, regulate my emotions and meet my needs.

Sometimes being stuck is ok and allowing the “not knowing” to be and allowing the discomfort that comes with it creates a space where we can meet our true, authentic self. It’s not always easy work, so if you experience something similar, be compassionate towards yourself.

24/06/2022

[***On location, English or Dutch***]
You are invited to participate in our face-to-face study that investigates treatment techniques for speech anxiety.
Where? on location of Psychology and Neuroscience, Maastricht University.

If you:
· Are between 18 – 60 years old and willing to talk about your experiences and emotions (in English or Dutch).
· Want to help us develop treatments for speech anxiety

Then join our study! To see if you are eligible: scan the QR code or click the link
https://soto.maastrichtuniversity.nl/soto/php/gui/register.php?study=ttsa

What’s involved?
· Duration 2 – 2.5 hours
· Fill-in questionnaires
· Interview & face-to-face treatment at our lab (, UNS 40)

You receive:
· 2 – 2.5 Sona Credits (for students) or
· 15 - 20 eur Voucher

Questions? Email: fpn-speechanxiety@maastrichtuniversity.nl

28/01/2022

Peter Levine defines trauma as a disconnect from the Self. The primary trauma was whatever made you vulnerable to this disconnection from yourself. What made you vulnerable was the disconnection from the primary connection provided by nurturing adults. That was the primary trauma. Focusing only on the event will never get you there, because the person was already traumatized before they were traumatized.

The primary trauma was the original disconnection from nurturing adults, which then causes a disconnection from the self. Even in cases when the child does tell the parent, the child does not get nurtured. They might not even be believed, but even if they are believed, they are not going to get nurtured.

When you’re helpless and something is happening to you that’s too painful for you to handle and you can’t do anything about it, you can’t escape and you can’t fight back, and you can’t tell anyone about it, then how do you survive it exactly? You survive it by disconnecting from yourself so you don’t feel it.

22/09/2021

This is how we live our lives. This is how we enter relationships, this is how we do our jobs, this is how we work. Constantly being afraid of being authentic because we want the attachment from the world from the outside.

Ideally, of course, it would be great to get them both, as it should have happened in our childhood. If attachment requires us to suppress our authenticity, we believe that when we express our authenticity, we will endanger our attachment. Then which one to choose? That is the question.

And the question is, are we still small children? Or adults? One thing you can do is to examine the beliefs you have about yourself that get in the way of you being authentic. What beliefs do you hold of yourself or the world that has you suppress your authenticity? What do you believe will happen if you are authentic? What will that mean to you? Then look at how this belief runs your life.

03/08/2021

09/06/2021

https://wisdomoftrauma.com/movie/

June 8 - 14

https://vimeo.com/559202825/22c5f4725dOn the player above, you can click on CC and choose close captioning in English or translation on the following languages: Italian, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Russian and GermanWe hope you enjoy the film!If you feel inspired to deepen your understanding of ...

23/03/2021

If you feel unworthy you're not crazy. There are reasons you feel the way you do which will always trace back to an experience you had in the past.
Experiences create emotions.

Emotions experienced over time and consistently can quickly become absolutes.

Experiences create emotions. Emotions experienced over time and consistently can quickly become absolutes.

The mind of a child is not highly cognitive. In addition, all children are ego-centric, therefore, what happens to them happens because of them.

If that were not enough, add to this dynamic the idea that the mind is both conscious and unconscious at the same time.

Healing from the past requires feeling the past.

If you feel like you are not good enough, these beliefs are likely tied to some experience from the past that caused you to perceive yourself as not enough.

Embrace your inner child today like you would any unsure, powerless, deserving 2-year-old child, who needs to know at their core they are enough no matter what and just because they exist!