04/11/2024
The lizard, the monkey and the human.
(Take aways from Rory Millers Conflict communication)
3 thinking parts of our brain with different goals causes trouble for us during a conflict communication situation.
The lizard only care for survival (automatic reactions)
The monkey care for survival in the pack (natural reactions)
The human try to solve with logics and thinking.
(Needs time to process and gather information before acting)
The problem: the lizard and the monkey is always faster than the human to react on the situation.
(Think about the first seconds of your natural reaction when someone call you an as***le ore when somebody says something to hurt your feelings as an example)
Why?
Its build in to us through evolution
The lizards survival instict is important to keep us safe in dangerous situations but it do not like changes and will stick to what it knows and believes.
The monkey will try to keep you inside the pack, even lie to you to make sure you stay with the pattern because it knows its very dangerous to go out ore be left out from the pack.
The human is new because its been evolved over time and through laws and norms.
It wish to choose the right answer for the specific case.
We need to be able to reach the human before the monkey ore lizard take over during conflict communication in order to control ourselfs and also be able to understand, listening and come with good solutions to the issue/problem beforehand.
Remember that the lizard can and will "hijack" us in extreme cases: make your body go in automatic mode to ensure survival. Its ruthless.
The monkey will jump in front of the human in order to save status/face/rumour.
It will react with feeling/emotion instead of logic and thinking.
