21/08/2025
Dear Ministry of Ethnic Communities and KPMG
Thank you for organizing the insightful conference, "Ethnic Women Entrepreneurs Roundtable" last night at KPMG in Auckland. I was truly impressed by the inspiring stories of other business owners, learning about their backgrounds, successes, and challenges.
My company focuses on helping vulnerable individuals and the community, and as a private company, it can sometimes be challenging to grow within the nature of this work. There are moments when I consider if it might be easier to pursue a full-time sales role rather than running a business dedicated to helping people through my qualifications, experience, and compassion.
However, I believe that the universe, my ancestors, and my spirit are guiding me not to give up on my dream of helping others, especially since my name, Ai, means "Love" in Japanese. I am still on my journey to fully understand the meaning of "Love," and perhaps this path is part of that discovery.
In Japanese, "Love" is part of Bonnou (煩悩), which means worldly desires. It does not carry a positive connotation. When I was young, my parents told me, “Don’t love someone who you want to get love from them. Your name Ai means love, but it means you give Jihi (慈悲).”
In Japanese Buddhism, there are five types of love:
1. Ai （愛）: Self-love, love for our family and Whanau
2. Shinai（親愛）: Love for community and society, including friendships and kindness
3. Yokuai（欲愛）: Romantic feelings toward someone
4.Aiyoku（愛欲）: Sexual drive toward a person
5.Katsuai（渇愛）: Dependency on a person, unhealthy love without autonomy and independence
These types of love are called ‘Bonnou’ （煩悩）because they can lead to emotional instability, addiction or dependence, and a loss of self-control and independence. Bonnou can destroy our peaceful minds and create pain. These forms of love are similar to a substance, causing cravings and urges that make us feel out of control. As a result, this love can make one mentally, physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually unwell.
Genuine and healthy love is Jihi (慈悲), which is the opposite of the types of love described above. Jihi means to love someone without wanting anything in return, similar to the concept of mushotoku (無所得) in Zen. It may sound difficult to put into action, but Jihi can manifest in very small to large actions. For example, if you see someone leave their phone on a table and you call that person, it is a Jihi action because it is purely an act of kindness without expecting anything in return.
I felt Jihi through the Ministry of Ethnic Communities and KPMG last night, as well as when meeting other female business owners, government officers, and other related people.
I hope Jihi brings you happiness today.
Ai Kihara (Director at Hana counselling)
