Suzi Wallis / Counsellor & Family Therapist / Auckland, Aotearoa

27/09/2025

A very powerful message here...

27/09/2025

Healing is reinventing parts of yourself, and learning new, healthy strategies 🙂

26/09/2025

"You’re curled up on the couch you picked out together, but somehow it doesn’t feel quite like yours anymore. Your favorite reading corner has become the place where their gym bag lives, and you can’t remember the last time you spent a Saturday morning alone with your coffee and thoughts. Sound familiar?

If you’re reading this while planning your big move-in or you’ve recently taken that beautiful, terrifying leap into shared living, you might be discovering something no one really prepares you for: learning how to be fully yourself while building a life with someone else.

Here’s the thing: maintaining your individuality isn’t about loving your partner less. It’s about loving yourself enough to stay whole while you grow together.

According to Gottmans’ research, the strongest relationships are those where partners nurture both the ‘we’ of their relationship and the individuality of each person. Rather than losing themselves in the relationship, they honor each other’s personal goals, interests, and values. This balance between independence and togetherness creates trust, respect, and lasting intimacy."

Discover practical strategies on how to maintain individuality in shared spaces, from setting healthy boundaries to balancing independence with togetherness.

26/09/2025

This is a really good article about navigating jealousy in an emotionally intelligent way, that can enrich connection 🙂

Jealousy, while often uncomfortable, is not inherently harmful. When handled in an emotionally balanced way, it can help us develop a more secure attachment.

25/09/2025

Your tribe including you will achieve much more than you can on your own 🙂

25/09/2025

Men who can attend workshops in Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland, this is for you.

Nigel: I was working in stopping violence programmes and went to gain some more professional skills, to deepen my practise and engage more fully with my heart. Back in 1996, I did the first workshop for men working with men.

24/09/2025

"When something feels off in your relationship, how do you know if it’s a dealbreaker or simply an area where you both can grow?

The person you are dating cancels your dinner plans again because ‘something came up at work’. Is this a red flag or is the person ambitious and needs to learn better communication skills?

If you’re in a serious relationship or considering taking yours to the next level, learning to distinguish between genuine red flags and areas for growth isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. Successful relationships aren’t built by people without flaws, but by partners who know which issues to work through together and which ones signal deeper incompatibility.

Let’s explore how to tell them apart and what to do with each."

Discover the difference between red flags vs. growth areas in relationships. Learn when to walk away and when to use the opportunity to grow.

23/09/2025

Wishing you days where you can just "be" 🙏🏻

22/09/2025

"Planning a wedding is exciting, but preparing for a marriage requires something deeper. It means having those important conversations that many couples avoid because they seem too heavy or uncomfortable. In the best case scenario these topics have come up naturally in conversation, and you have already talked about them. But if you haven’t, that’s ok. It’s not too late to have these crucial conversations that will lay a strong foundation for your long term relationship."

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-5-most-important-talks-to-have-before-marriage/

Before you get marrried, there are some must have conversations to ensure your long term relationship success.

21/09/2025

Another way of looking at this is "what you focus on gets bigger". Intentional focus really does change your experience in the world - how do you want it to be?

20/09/2025

"However you define it, everyone knows that infidelity is extremely common. And everyone knows that it is often highly disruptive, shocking, destabilizing, and hurtful.

There’s no one right way to navigate infidelity, whether your own or your partner’s. But there are some wrong ways. After 44 years as a marriage counselor, I’ve seen thousands of people make the same set of mistakes AFTER infidelity has been revealed.

Whether someone is caught or they confess, whether it’s a brief fling, a s*x worker, or a love affair, both the Betrayed and the Betrayer are vulnerable to these common mistakes.”

There’s no one right way to navigate infidelity, whether your own or your partner’s. But there are some wrong ways. After 44 years as a marriage counselor, I’ve seen thousands of people make the same set of mistakes AFTER infidelity has been revealed. Here are the most common: ~ Decide...

19/09/2025

There are many ways to quieten your mind, apart from traditional meditation techniques. I hope you've found what works for you 🙂