Suzi Wallis / Counsellor & Family Therapist / Auckland, Aotearoa

25/08/2025

"I tiptoed downstairs to the bathroom, careful not to wake my live-in partner. Finally, the unshed tears burst through the dam and I simply sobbed. I was trying SO hard to fix our relationship. All by myself.

Does this sound familiar? If so, you are not alone. The couples I work with continually ask, “My partner refuses to communicate – what do I do with that?” “Can I save this relationship alone?” It’s so painful to be the one who is always pursuing – asking to talk about the relationship, suggesting romantic dates, even begging for attention and wondering if your partner loves you at all."

When your partner won't work to improve your relationship, you may feel like change is impossible. Learn what you can do on your own and why your partner might be reluctant.

24/08/2025

We need to co-regulate with safe people until we learn to self-regulate. Even as adults, co-regulation is sometimes needed, depending on the situation.

23/08/2025

"You’ve been together for a while now, and things feel… good. Really good, actually. But lately, you’ve been wondering: Is this the person I want to build a life with? How do I know if we’re truly compatible on the deeper levels that matter?

If you’re finding yourself having these thoughts, you’re in one of the most important phases of any relationship—the time when casual dating transforms into something more intentional. It’s when you move beyond the excitement of new romance and start asking the bigger questions: Do we really understand each other? Are we building toward the same future? Can I trust this person with my whole heart?

Dr. John Gottman’s research found that successful couples have a strong friendship as the foundation of their relationship. They turn towards their partner’s bids for connection and then know how to fight without hurting each other and when they do, they make repair attempts.

So does the relationship you are in have these qualities or have the potential to? Asking your partner these questions will guide you to the answer."

Ready to get serious with your date? Explore these 75 essential questions to deepen emotional intimacy, enhance connection, and foster trust with your partner.

22/08/2025

Shine warrior. The right people will shine right alongside you ⭐

21/08/2025

Change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change. Grow, little one - it's your birthright 😘

20/08/2025

"To a seasoned couples therapist, the telltale signs of a relationship in crisis are universal. While every marriage is unique with distinct memories and stories, how it looks at its core (the anatomy so-to-speak) adheres to certain truths. We know the bones of love, what builds trust (and breaks it), what fosters connection (and disconnection) from the work of Dr. John Gottman.

Gottman is renowned for his research on marital stability and demise and recognized as one of the ten most influential psychotherapists of the past quarter-century. He has more than 40 years of research with 3,000 participants. The quality and breadth of his studies are some of the finest and most exemplary data we have to date. They serve as an underpinning for how we understand what makes love work."

Understand the benefits of a healthy relationship and living life from a place of worthiness from Brene Brown and John Gottman.

19/08/2025

Some beautiful alternatives 😘

18/08/2025

Keep being yourself - the right people will appreciate it and the wrong people don't matter 😁

17/08/2025

"Dr. John Gottman’s 50 years of research with thousands of couples reveals that lasting love isn’t about finding someone perfect—it’s about finding someone perfectly suited to grow alongside you. The couples who thrive together share specific patterns of connection, communication, and commitment that we can actually measure and recognize. But how do you know if they are the one? It’s looking at your daily interactions, your quiet moments, and the way you navigate life’s inevitable storms together that will tell you if it’s a person you can have a successful relationship with."

Wondering if they are truly the one? Discover 10 proven signs to recognize your soulmate and know if your relationship is meant to be.

17/08/2025

Some great books and podcasts for healthy s3x education 🙂

16/08/2025

When you're feeling overwhelmed, start with the first thing. If you have capacity for more, go ahead. If not, congratulate yourself on your achievement 🥰

16/08/2025

Using correct languaging will help your child recognise boundaries for body autonomy 🙂