29/11/2025
LIFE AS A MIRROR – THE TRUE REFLECTION OF REALITY
Something I see often in my work, and in my own life, is how life keeps reflecting us back to ourselves through other people.
Most of us are familiar with negative projection – when we disown something uncomfortable within ourselves and then see it “out there” in someone else. We recognise the problem in them, but miss the reflection in us.
What’s spoken about far less is positive projection.
This happens when we disown our strengths – our integrity, our values, our inner truth – and then see those qualities only in others. We admire them, even place them on a pedestal, when sometimes the people we’re projecting onto don’t even possess the qualities we’re blindly seeing in them. What’s equally distorting is that we often don’t recognise that what we’re seeing also lives quietly inside of us.
Both forms of projection bend the mirror.
Negative projection can keep us stuck in judgement, victimhood and blame… quietly outsourcing our power and sovereignty.
Positive projection can place unrealistic expectations on others. And when they can’t meet those expectations, we feel disappointed, let down or even betrayed.
Often, the deeper betrayal is internal.
It’s the moment we override our own knowing, breach our own boundaries and tolerate the intolerable.
All of this creates a distorted reality.
When I speak about “reality” here, I’m pointing to something closer to what Buddhism calls beginner’s mind – meeting life the way a child does… curious, open, and not yet weighed down by predefined meanings.
That is the true reflection of reality: perception before distortion, a mind before the mirror has been bent.
It can be powerful to gently notice:
What is your dominant pattern?
Do you tend to project your pain… or your power?
Or both, in different seasons of your life?
The magic of transformation begins in the moment we can see that we’re doing it. From there, we can slowly reclaim the parts of ourselves we’ve disowned and begin to experience life more clearly, honestly and in alignment with the truth of who we really are.
💫 If you recognise yourself in this and feel ready to explore it in a safe, sacred space, you’re welcome to reach out and book a Holistic Alignment session with me. I’d be honoured to support you.
