TLC Theresa Lactation Consultant

22/02/2026

Important to use language that reflects the reality of lactation physiology 💟

Saying the breast is “full of milk” is like saying lungs are full of air. It sounds right, but it is physiologically wrong.

The breast is not a storage bag. It is a living organ with blood vessels, lymphatics, nerves, and milk making tissue. Milk is produced continuously in the alveoli in response to hormones and milk removal. It is not “sitting around” waiting in ducts like liquid in a bottle.

That’s why engorgement is not just milk “backed up in ducts.” Engorgement involves vascular congestion, interstitial edema, and lymphatic compression. The swelling you feel is largely fluid and tissue pressure, not simply just milk volume. This is also why cold therapy works. Cold reduces blood flow and inflammation. If engorgement were only milk sitting in ducts, cold would do nothing. Relief would come only from emptying. But clinically, we know cold decreases pain and swelling even before milk is removed. Milk removal helps, yes. But it helps by reducing pressure and improving circulation and drainage, not because pus or inflammation is being “released.”

Language matters because it shapes care. When we reduce the breast to a container, we miss the biology and we give the wrong solutions. Physiology deserves more than shortcuts. 😮‍💨🤷🏼‍♀️💗

21/02/2026

⚠️🚫 Why I’m not a fan of tracking apps 🚫⚠️

“These tell a new parent when to feed a baby, and when to put them to bed, inviting AI to circumvent an insightful serve-and-return interaction. Tracking apps even tell a nursing mother which side she should use this time, risking a damping down of her bodily awareness, or interoception.

“Given the relationship between maternal interoception and sensitivity to infants’ physiological and emotional states, the commercialised confidence as offered by tracking apps risks weakening a new parent’s emerging skills to join their baby in attuned, bespoke, caregiving choreography. This algorithmic imperialism poses risks to the optimal functioning of the dyad.” 🔥

Human (Māori) settlement in my country (Aotearoa | New Zealand; ANZ) around 800 years ago resulted in some burning of forests, inadvertent species extinctions, and introduction of flora and fauna that had not been here before. European colonisation some 650 years later resulted in massive deforesta...

20/02/2026

Not all breastfeeding positions are equal!

https://youtu.be/SN9K2HeCwR8?si=5smZQOMfIzt6iDM8

Why does early feeding positioning matter? Nancy and Barbara discuss one of their favorite topics with friend and colleague, IBCLC Rene Fisher. Whether you are talking about the starter position, laid back breastfeeding, or biological nurturing from Suzanne Colson, they all mean the same thing. Relax, lean back at a comfortable angle (not flat on your back), and place the baby tummy-to-tummy on the parent’s body. In this position, the baby can move their body more easily and many infant feeding reflexes are triggered.

Nancy discusses her experience improving breastfeeding practices at a Chicago-area hospital, and Rene shares her experiences with her own grandson, which made her a firm believer. Rene took this simple, time-saving technique back to her hospital on the East Coast, where it was a great success.

Nancy’s ideas of adjusting your body, adjusting the baby, and adjusting the breast make it even easier to help families nurse easily and comfortably.
As is known, changing hospital practice is not easy. Nancy and Rene share their wins and hurdles.

Find the podcast episode "Why Early Breastfeeding Positions Matter" on our website, on most podcast platforms under "All Things Breastfeeding" and youtube.com/

19/02/2026

Sleep nonsense also disrupts breastfeeding

17/02/2026

So good! This position is a game-changer 🙌

Side lying position

Such a useful position as it means you can stay lying down whilst you breastfeed!

But it can be a bit tricky to get a deep and comfortable latch.

Here are my top tips:

Baby tucked in very close
Head tilted back
Baby looking up at ths breast
Sometimes it helps to lift yourself up on your elbow when you first latch, then you can lower yourself back down again.

Thank you to my client who allowed me to share this photo as we nailed a fabulous deep latch. Baby was drinking beautifully with deep sucks and swallows. Baby 3 weeks old.

17/02/2026

Sleep training is NOT biologically necessary

Yep, did you know that in Japan, over 70% of infants and toddlers co-sleep with their parents?

It’s not controversial.
It’s not something they hide.
It’s a tradition called *soine*, a sleep arrangement where baby sleeps between mother and father, like the character for “river.”

It’s done to promote security.
Not independence. Not training.
Security.

And in Japan, “sleep training” doesn’t even exist as a concept.
Night waking isn’t treated as a problem, no matter how a baby is fed.

Their SIDS rate?
0.2 per 1,000 births.

Compare that to the U.S., where SIDS rates are more than 30 times higher.

Some research suggests Japan’s low SIDS rate is related to their high rates of co-sleeping.

Dr. James McKenna, the world’s leading infant sleep researcher, spent 30 years studying this.
His research shows,

Babies who sleep close to their mothers have more stable breathing.
They wake more easily, which helps protect against deep, risky sleep.
Their sleep cycles sync with their mother’s.
They regulate better.
It’s not broken sleep.
It’s biologically normal sleep.

But somewhere along the way, Western culture sold us a different story:
That babies should sleep alone.
In a crib.
Through the night.
By 6 months.

That story was built in the 1950s
based on formula-feeding, isolated sleep, and adult centered routines.
It wasn’t based on biology.
It wasn’t based on connection.
And it’s not working.

Most babies don’t sleep through the night by 6 months.
Most parents who try sleep training eventually stop, because it doesn’t feel right.

Maybe the problem isn’t your baby.
Maybe it’s the expectation that babies should sleep like adults.

Your baby isn’t broken.
They’re waking because that’s what human babies do.
They’re following instincts that have kept our species alive.

Waking. Reaching. Responding.
That’s how connection grows.
That’s how brains build.
That’s what safety feels like to a baby.

So if you’re contact napping, co-sleeping
if you’re tired, touched out, and wondering if you're doing it wrong...

This is your reminder
You’re not failing.
You’re doing what humans have always done.
And your baby is doing exactly what they’re meant to do 🖤

17/02/2026

Fl**ge fitting guidelines have changed!!

I get this question often: what exactly IS the tip 🗻 of the ni**le that we're supposed to measure 📏 for fl**ge fitting?

For some people, the tip is more obvious 👀 than for others, this is true.
Ultimately, the good news 📰 (I hope) is that measuring (or assessing) the tip diameter is just a starting point.

Pumping should feel like "nothing" or "a gentle tug". If it hurts, it's not the right size. Sometimes going smaller than you even think will fit helps you find the right size. It's an art, not a science...and the person pumping ultimately has to decide what feels best AND gets the most milk out.
Fl**ges come as small as 9mm (the diameter of the tunnel).

There are also different shapes of fl**ges and different materials. All of these factors influence comfort and milk flow.

To learn more about fl**ge fitting as a person who plans to pump, is pumping, or helps other people with pumping, see https://www.babiesincommon.com

Or, post your questions below or DM me!

~ Jeanette Mesite Frem, MHS, IBCLC, CCE
Creator of the Fl**ge FITS Guide

**gesizematters **geFITS

16/02/2026

"Women, and especially mothers, are often framed as anxious, emotional, uninformed, or easily misled when they want to respond to their babies and keep them close at night. When mothers want to do the most natural thing in the world, which is to respond to their babies and keep them close, they are often infantilized and framed as silly, uninformed, or as women who are victimizing themselves. In that kind of framing, mothers who practice responsive caregiving at night can end up being perceived as overly emotional or ignorant, even when what they’re doing is a very deliberate and biologically normal way of caring for an infant.

"When decisions are framed this way, mothers begin doubting themselves and their instincts, looking to 'experts' to tell them how to parent. Instead of asking whether an approach actually fits their baby, they wonder if they’re being irrational, weak, or 'too attached.'

"So, no, Emily, it’s not that we are scared of sleep training. It’s that we know our babies and have chosen to lean into our intuition that tells us to respond to them. It’s because responsiveness creates order and peace in our homes, where sleep training would feel chaotic and stressful. That choice is usually made with education, wisdom, reason, and discernment."

Emily Oster recently published an article called “Why Is Everyone Afraid of Sleep Training?” The intention of the piece is pretty clear: to reassure parents that sleep training is supported by evidence, and that concerns about harm are largely unfounded and generally "fear mongering". While some...

15/02/2026

💟💟💟

12/02/2026

If you can’t make it to an in-person meeting, check out this virtual event! 💚💚💚

Starting at 9.30 today (Friday 13th)

Open to all pregnant, breastfeeding, expressing, and mixed feeding mothers, please join us for a Zoom gathering. Meet (virtually) other mums, share your breastfeeding experiences, and have your questions answered. Please click on the link to register for this online event, and you will be emailed directions for how to join on the day.

12/02/2026

Bedsharing is brain food 💝

Research tells us that babies who co-sleep in infancy, especially in those early years can receive around 13,000 extra hours of touch.

Thirteen thousand.

Because when you keep your baby close, day and night, they’re getting 10 to 12 extra hours a day of your skin, your warmth, your presence.

That’s not spoiling.
That’s wiring.

Touch is brain food.
It releases oxytocin and serotonin.
It lowers cortisol.

It teaches your baby’s body how to feel safe.
How to come back to calm.

We actually have studies showing that
co-sleeping babies have lower stress reactivity meaning their little bodies bounce back from stress faster.

More hours of touch by age three.

That’s not dependence.
That’s co-regulation.
That’s safety being built from the inside out.
That’s wiring.

So the next time you’re contact napping, bed sharing, or doing whatever gets you both some rest and someone tells you you’re creating bad habits remember this,

You’re not creating a clingy baby.
You’re creating a resilient one 🖤

12/02/2026

Bottle feeding is not “easier” for babies.

(Caveat: it is still true that babies can develop bottle preference.)

Let’s put to rest for good the false assumptions that bottle-feeding is “easier” for preemies than breastfeeding. Acording to this 2026 RCT, at their first feeding by mouth, preemies breastfed had measurably better oxygen levels and heart rates compared with those whose first oral feed was by bottle. The breastfed preemies even took more milk! Please share these findings far and wide! https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/41318959/