The Positive Pants

09/05/2026

Chemo. A wheelchair.Torrential rain. And Elton John. 😅

I've just written a chapter in my book about one of the most chaotic / fun nights of my cancer journey. 😛

What could possibly go wrong? 😅

Honestly? Everything! 😂

I was really unwell during chemo and all week I’d been praying I’d feel well enough to go to the concert with Chloe. Tiny Dancer has always been our song, so this night felt really special to us. Her boyfriend's parents had kindly gifted us some tickets so we were so grateful to be going together

We borrowed a wheelchair because I barely had the energy to walk around the stadium. But it was worth it.

Then the chaos began. It was actually hilarious.

At one point the water on the grass was like a pond, and I literally fell face first out of the wheelchair as we raced to get undercover 😭😂

Nigel accidentally parked me directly under pouring water while sorting tickets and I got completely drenched without him realising. literally soaked right through underpants and everything 😅

After Nigel had dropped us at the door so he could go park we realised we had his phone 😅 so his tickets too!

10 minutes before Elton John came on stage the concert got cancelled because of the rain.

Honestly it was chaos. And yet somehow and truly it became one of my favourite memories.🩷

Because what I remember most isn’t the disappointment

It was the listening to Elton John in the car always, getting ready together. Trying anyway. Still living life in the middle of something hard.

And I think that’s what this chapter is really about.

Life WON'T always go to plan. Things WILL go wrong Moments WON'T look the way we imagined they would.

But there CAN still be joy in the middle of the mess.

Sometimes the most magical memories come from the nights that fell apart completely 🩷

07/05/2026

I learned the hard way 😅 never ignore the signs of burnout. 🩷🩷🩷🩷

05/05/2026

People often think that when you’ve been speaking in public for years, it gets easy.

But the truth is… it still scares me 😅

Every time I share my story something so personal, so raw , I feel the nerves, the vulnerability, the what if I’m not good enough, thoughts creep in.

But this is a bit bigger than my ego. It feels like my calling. This is what I'm
here to do. I didn't go through all that for nothing! I want to help others who are facing hard times and offer hope.

And I’ve learned that the magic in life simply doesn't live in the comfort zone. That's for sure!

So even when it feels scary, which mostly it does, 😅I just have to feel that fear and do it anyway as Susan Jeffers talks about in her book.

After my breakdown, my confidence shattered to pieces and the thought of speaking again in public frightened the bejesus out of me. 🤪

But I know that on the other side of that fear is growth, connection, healing , not just for me, but for the people who need to hear it.

It reminds me of when I first started teaching Powerhoop 13 years ago. I was terrified. I’d never taught exercise before. I was so worried about saying the wrong thing, looking silly, not being good enough.

But I had this huge vision in my heart.

And because I followed it, even while scared me, so much magic always unfolded. Truly it did. I could write a book about this alone.

So I share this with you today.

If something is calling you, don’t wait until you feel ready. Just take one small step. Even while you are feeling scared. Trust the pull. It's there for a reason. 🩷

At this Pink Ribbon Breakfast I shared the emotional toll of cancer and my journey. It was a beautiful morning. 🩷

What scares you? Maybe it's time to take one small step towards that thing. And face the fear straight in the eye. 👀

01/05/2026

A massive thank you to all that have sponsored me so far. I am taking part in the Big Swim raising money towards rhe coastguards who rely on donations. Today I did 2.5km so total that's 4km so far. My goal is 20km in May. Here is the link if you feel like supporting the cause. Much appreciated. 🩷🩷🩷https://bigswim.org.nz/a-mcauley

30/04/2026

20KM FOR THE COAST GUARD

In June, I’ll be swimming 20 kilometres to raise money for the Coast Guard and this one is deeply personal.

Years ago, my best friend lost her mum to drowning. She was also like a second mum to me. Very very special lady. It’s something that never leaves you, the ripple effect of that loss touches so many lives.

And it’s also close to home for me in another way.

When I was a little girl, I nearly drowned. It happened so quickly, one moment you’re okay, the next you’re not. That experience stayed with me, and it taught me just how important it is to learn to swim, feel safe, supported, and protected in our waters.

That’s why this matters.

The Coast Guard are the people who show up when things go wrong — the ones searching, rescuing, and bringing people home. They are often volunteers, giving their time to save lives. And they rely heavily on funding to keep doing what they do.

This swim is for those we’ve lost💙 The families still carrying that grief💙 The lives that can still be saved🩷

20 kilometres is going to challenge me physically and mentally but it feels small compared to what so many families have gone through.

I'll be heading to the pool every morning at 5.30am to chip away and do this.

If you feel called to support this cause, I would be so grateful for a donation, big or small. Every dollar helps keep these lifesaving services going.

And if you can’t donate, sharing this means just as much. Thank you so much 🩷🩷🩷

Let’s help keep more people safe in our waters.

🩷🩷🩷

Why not dive in for Coastguard's Big Swim this June to help save more lives on the water? Or show your support by making a donation.

30/04/2026

The Choice.

I have just written another chapter for my book. This girl is on fire 🤪🔥 and I am sharing some nuggets with you as a go along. Honestly, thank you so much for reading these and your feedback means the world to me.

This one is a goodie 🩷 So here goes
For years I lived in cycles. Eating disorder, alcohol addiction, depression on and off. So I fully know what it feels like to be completely consumed. To feel controlled by something.

But here’s what changed everything for me. When I seemingly hit a really low point in each of these cycles, this is where the change occurred. Most recently I shared was my rock bottom when I had a full breakdown after cancer.

Each time, I made a very definite choice. A very definite decision. A very definite intention. It was like I got to the point where I told myself enough was enough. I can choose something different.

I chose sobriety (15 years now)
I chose to leave my eating disorder behind (14 years ago when I moved to NZ)
I chose healing when I was in a psychiatric ward
I chose life when I was facing cancer

Did it mean I just chose and did nothing else? Of course not I had to take action and choose these things daily. But that choice became the turning point for me each and every time.

And here’s the truth I’ve learned. It’s not about having it all figured out.
It’s about deciding you’re not staying where you are.

And then taking one step… and then another. With a little faith. Actually a lot of faith 😅
So if you’re in a hard place right now this is your reminder. You still always have the power to choose. And that choice could change everything. 🩷🩷🩷

27/04/2026

Lucy Marie Francis

27/04/2026

Come and join us for some as always great conversations. For the next two weeks Lucy Marie Francis and myself will be interviewing each other! It's my turn for the hot seat tonight and Lucy's next week! Grab a cuppa and join us at 7pm NZ 🩷

25/04/2026

It was after my first round of chemo. I ended up being taken into hospital. Things hadn't gone to plan and I had a nasty reaction. I was feeling pretty poorly with very little energy. My cheeks were bright red and I was knackered but I couldn't sleep. I was in a ward with a lady opposite me. She was in her 70s at least. I could hear her making moaning sounds now and I wished I had the energy to go see her and ask her if she needed anything.

When I eventually had to get up to go to the bathroom ( needs must 😅) I asked her if she needed anything as my husband was coming in soon. She said she would love a magazine and some chocolate. She told me that she was in a care home and there was no one left in her life to come visit her.
It felt heartbreaking.
When Nigel left, I took her magazine and chocolates to her and asked her what her favourite song was. I didn't have the energy to talk, so instead we sat together and listened to Hallelujah on repeat. I could feel tears leave my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I could sense hers too.
I could feel energy moving and honestly felt on some level a healing happening. For us both. We held hands. A perfect stranger, yet not at all strange.

Human connection. Human touch Human hearts opening to each other. Don't underestimate that power.

🩷🩷🩷🩷

24/04/2026

Unwaithering Faith

I am working on another chapter in my book which highlights the power of belief.

There was a time in my life where I felt completely stuck. I had miscarried a baby and felt completely heartbroken. After this, years went by, floating between hope and devastation, something happened that changed the way I see life.

It happened in the most unexpected way. Talking to my friend this morning about it at coffee, when I said it out loud, I can now see it was a beautiful God intervention. I go into detail in my book but I just want to outline the point here.

Someone looked me dead in the eye and said something to me that shifted everything. He told me "You’ll be pregnant by July.” There was no explanation, indeed no logic, simply certainty. And something inside me chose to believe it.

Guess what? I was indeed pregnant in July. Looking back I know it's because I chose to BELIEVE. Maybe because someone else installed this in me, either way, our minds are powerful.

Fast forward ( quite a few years 😅)
When I was diagnosed with cancer, I experienced that same kind of moment again. This time with my best friend.
I was telling her on video, as she lives in Scotland, that I had cancer. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "You know you get through this don't you?"
Her conviction was bold and brave yet I can assure you that it installed a level of belief in me that would get me through some pretty intense times.

She told me this would be a path I go down so I could help give hope to others later down the line. Her words got me through some times where I could feel my hope fading.

Sometimes we don’t need all the answers. We don't need to know the HOW of how it will all work out. All we need to do is have FAITH. Unwavering faith.

🩷🩷🩷

17/04/2026

"Powerhoop and Gratitude "

I’ve just written a chapter about one of the lowest points in my journey.

It wasn't the dramatic kind of low.
It was the quiet kind.
The kind where nothing is happening, but everything feels heavy.


I had been in the psychiatric ward for weeks.
Most days looked the same.
I would wake up, have my medication, eat a little breakfast, and then go back to bed. And I would lie there for hours. Staring into the abyss.

Day after day.
it was just me, my bed, and my thoughts.

And I remember thinking one day that really no one is coming to save me.

That was a hard moment.
Because I didn’t feel strong. I didn’t feel ready. I didn’t even feel capable.
But I knew one thing.
I couldn’t stay there.

So I made a small decision.
Not a big one.
Not a life-changing, dramatic shift.
Just this.

Five minutes. That’s all I had to do.

I got my Powerhoop brought into the ward and I took myself outside into the sunshine.

I didn’t want to do it.

There wasn’t a single part of me that wanted to move.

But I did it anyway.

And while I was moving,
I started thinking of small things I was grateful for.”

The sunshine. A coffee. The nurses. My family.

Nothing big.
Just something.

And I did that again the next day.
And the next.

And slowly something started to shift.

Not overnight.
Not in a big, obvious way.

But quietly
I was building something.

A habit. A foundation. A way back to myself.

And that’s what I’ve learned from that time.
You don’t need to change your whole life in one go.

You just need to start.
Even when you don’t feel like it. Even when it feels pointless.

Because sometimes the smallest things are the ones that save you. 🩷