12/10/2025
People often look at me and think that I’ve got it all figured out.
I’m sure they think I’m tough, strong and unstoppable.
And most of the the time, that’s true.
Except when it’s not.
There’s just as many days where the past bubbles up as there are days when I’m invincible.
I’ve just perfected the face that conceals it all.
I put on a brave face for myself, for my kids and the people around me.
But truthfully I can have a smile on my face when I’m crying inside and no one would ever know.
Everyone will tell me that I’m “lucky” that I’m strong and independent, but they don’t see the unimaginable horrors and battles I've had to come through and have to face every day and overcome.
There’s days when I can not even leave the house. Where it's all just a little too much.
But I do just that with a smile on my face and a pep in my step.
I keep pushing forward, regardless of how I feel.
It’s not always an easy thing when you don’t really have time to rest or someone to lean on, but I still find a way every day to get everything done.
I may be utterly exhausted at the end of my days, but I just keep fighting and I get up every day to do it again.
Maybe it’s survival mode, maybe it’s habit, or maybe because I really am as strong as everyone says.
Or maybe it’s a little of all of that.
I don’t know but what I do know is I won't stop. Because there’s always something to do and someone to help.
And I do so gladly, with a warm smile and a full heart.
Full of scars but also full of love.
And I’m okay with that.
I know it’ll get better.
I’ll do whatever it takes to keep growing and evolving.
But until the day comes when I’m flying high, strong and carefree, I’ll keep doing the best I can, loving myself and my people the way that only I can and smiling brightly for the world to see.
I’ll never have it all together, figured out or be perfect, but I’ll always love that about myself-
I am imperfectly beautiful, just the way I was meant to be.
That’s just who I am and will always be.
Strong and proud and a survivor.
In spite of it all ✨️
www.jamieellouise.com