Tatiana Ceban Counselling Services

16/08/2025

Sunday reflections: write your child’s birth story
Sundays are for slowing down, sipping something warm, and reconnecting with what matters most. Today, why not try a creative activity that’s both healing and deeply meaningful—writing your child’s birth story?
Whether your birth was calm or chaotic, joyful or challenging, your story deserves to be remembered. Putting it into words can be a therapeutic process, helping you process the experience, preserve precious details, and create a keepsake your child will treasure one day.
You don’t need to be a writer. Just start with what you remember:
• What did the day feel like?
• Who was there?
• What surprised you?
• What changed in you?
Your story is powerful. Your voice matters. And there’s no better time than a quiet Sunday to honour the beginning of a beautiful journey. If you’ve written your birth story before, what did it teach you? Share below or tag a friend who might want to start theirs today. By sharing, you're not only preserving your story but also connecting with a community of parents who understand and appreciate the power of storytelling.

Writing your child’s birth story is more than just recording an event—it’s a celebration of life, love, and new beginnings. Whether detailed or simple, personal or shared, your words will stand as a timeless testament to one of the most important days of your life.

11/08/2025

Most recently, I have had in therapy couples who seek help too late. Counselling for them will be “the last option” to reanimate what died a long time ago. There is no communication, and even a willingness to listen; there is no trust and no desire to fight. Regardless of the effort invested in this work, it is evident that it will not work.
Yes, there are instances when a relationship may seem irreparable, but as a therapist, my heart is always filled with hope. We, too, have feelings. It's disheartening to see people not investing in learning better skills, not addressing problems as they arise, not working on strengthening their bond, and not evaluating the health of their relationship. But we're here to support you through these challenges.
If you're committed to making your marriage last, take proactive steps and seek counselling long before you notice any cracks. It's a decision that can make a significant difference. You have the power to shape the future of your relationship. Get in touch at hello@tatianaceban.com

27/10/2024

If you are pregnant, please take some time to watch this amazing movie. Invite your partner to join. We all have so much to learn from it, so recommend it to every pregnant woman you know.

You'll find all the subtitle options by clicking on cc (closed captioning/subtitles) Pregnancy & Civilization - Gestação & Civilização…

26/10/2024

If you are pregnant, please find time to watch this video. Invite your partner to join. Then, recommend it to all pregnant women you know and to all couples planning to have a child. We all have so much to learn from it.

You'll find all the subtitle options by clicking on cc (closed captioning/subtitles) Pregnancy & Civilization - Gestação & Civilização…

26/10/2024

It is raining in Marlborough, making it a perfect time for reflection. It is Labor Weekend, an excellent time to question how women labour—most of the time, too much. A few thoughts on ways women's behavioural patterns "steal" their happiness and make them work excessively.

1. Love must be earned.
A strategy develops where all energy is focused on perfectionism and obligations. This mindset creates a workaholic attitude and a constant feeling of needing to earn love or approval.

2. Do it all by yourself
This pattern stems from mistrust. A woman believes that no one can be relied upon, leading her to think that she will be happy if she handles everything herself. She feels that there won't be any problems by doing it all.

3. I am not enough
This mindset fosters a constant sense of dissatisfaction. No matter how much love, attention, time, money, or knowledge a woman receives, it feels insufficient. She feels like a leaky bucket—no matter how much is poured, it spills out. Consequently, she never feels worthy of love, appreciation, or respect.
colleagues
4. I must
This strategy is based on a sense of obligation. A woman feels indebted to her husband, parents, children, colleagues and friends. This feeling of debt creates financial strain and emotional burdens.

If you recognise any of these patterns in your behaviour, addressing these beliefs is essential, as they can significantly impact your life. Start the healing process by confronting the root issues contributing to these unhealthy thought patterns. By doing that, you will stop overthinking and... overworking. Addressing these issues in counselling might help.

Happy Labor Day!

09/10/2024

Dear Valued Clients,
On this World Mental Health Day, I want to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude to each one of you. Your strength, courage, and commitment to your mental wellbeing inspire me daily. Thank you for trusting me with your stories, vulnerabilities, and journeys toward healing and growth. Together, we are making strides toward a healthier, more understanding world. Remember, your mental health matters every day. Please remember to prioritize your self-care, as it is crucial for your wellbeing.
With heartfelt thanks, Tatiana

30/09/2024

Understanding the Difference Between Dumping and Venting.
In the realm of emotional expression, it's crucial to distinguish between dumping and venting. Both involve sharing feelings but differ significantly in their impact on the speaker and listener. As a mental health professional, I encounter both in my practice, especially working with couples.

Dumping: A Toxic Cycle
Dumping is an emotionally overwhelming process in which an individual unloads a barrage of issues without regard for the listener's emotional capacity. Dumping often feels toxic and can leave both parties feeling drained and frustrated.
It can be overwhelming to simultaneously process and respond to a barrage of issues as a listener. This can lead to a breakdown in communication and prevent the issues from being effectively addressed. It's important to remember that dumping can be emotionally taxing for the listener, often leaving them feeling drained and frustrated.
Dumping is not a one-time event. It's a repetitive cycle where the same topics are brought up repeatedly without resolution, leading to stagnation and frustration.
Dumping brings lots of blaming: The individual often blames others and adopts a victim mentality, which can hinder constructive dialogue.
Dumping involves a lack of accountability: There needs to be recognition of their role in discussing issues.
Dumping is closed to solutions: The person is not open to finding solutions or making changes, preferring to stay in a cycle of the complaint.
This pattern can be particularly challenging in a therapeutic setting, as it can impede progress and strain the therapeutic relationship.

Venting: A Healthy Release
In contrast, venting is a constructive form of emotional expression. It allows individuals to release pent-up emotions in a healthy and time-limited way, paving the way for potential growth and change. It's a tool for self-expression and personal development.
Venting is focused: The person sticks to a specific topic, making it easier for the listener to understand and respond.
Venting is non-repetitive: Once the issue is expressed, it is not continuously revisited.
Venting involves no blaming: The individual refrains from blaming others and avoids a victim mentality.
Venting is a form of emotional expression that promotes personal growth. It involves acknowledging one's part in the issue, which is crucial for fostering a sense of accountability and promoting constructive dialogue.
Venting is not just about expressing feelings; it's about being open to solutions. After venting, individuals are often more willing to consider solutions and make changes, fostering a sense of hope and optimism.
Seeking counselling can help differentiate between venting and dumping and can provide guidance on how to prevent engaging in emotional dumping and protect oneself from being used for emotional dumping.
Please get in touch with me at hello@tatianaceban.com.

17/09/2024

Boundary and confidence issues, and replicating the mother bond.

13/09/2024

Life is a journey of learning, often through problem-solving, overcoming limitations, and dealing with loss. The goal of counselling is not to shield the client from life's challenges but to equip them with the skills to manage these experiences. The aim is to help the client lead a harmonious life, gaining the lessons they seek, the skills to navigate challenges, and the capacity to appreciate their life and experiences.

08/09/2024

My booking calendar is packed. I work with many people engaged in long-term therapy, but life happens, and I get cancellations. If your need for counselling is urgent, please feel free to write to me at hello@tatianaceban.com. I might have a cancellation and offer that time to you.

01/09/2024

The day off is for joy! I have learned something new and tasty! I took a cooking class with Sohee Bae, the author of KidsFermenTech—https://kidsfermentech.com/
I am expressing my deepest gratitude for the incredible cooking class Sohee hosted. Learning how to make kimchi and exploring the rich flavours of South Korean cuisine was an unforgettable experience. Her passion and expertise truly shone through, making the class both educational and enjoyable. She shared her culinary skills and cultural insights with us.
I look forward to trying out the recipes at home and continuing to explore the wonderful world of South Korean cuisine. It is so good!

23/08/2024