The Healing Barn

08/02/2026

What is a Heart Wall?

I don’t experience the Heart Wall as something that’s “wrong” with you.
I experience it as something incredibly loyal.
When life hurts — especially in ways that feel overwhelming or unsafe — your subconscious does what it’s designed to do: protect you. Not logically. Not neatly. But at all costs.
I often describe it like this.
Imagine you have an emotional cup.
Everything you feel goes into that cup — grief, shock, disappointment, fear, pressure… and also love, joy, hope. When the cup has space, life can bump into you and very little spills. You feel, you process, you move on.
But when that cup is already full…
Even the smallest bump causes overflow.
A look.
A comment.
A tone of voice.
And suddenly there’s a mess.
So your system adapts.
If the cup keeps overflowing, your subconscious starts building protection around it — not because it’s weak, but because it’s trying to keep you functioning. Each time something reaches your cup and feels like “too much,” another layer of strength goes up.
These layers are what we call a Heart Wall.
It works.
Until it doesn’t.
Those walls do an excellent job of keeping painful things out. But they also keep the good out — joy, connection, ease, abundance. And they keep you in.
I see this so often and have felt it myself: people who feel love deeply, who are putting it out, sometimes even shouting it from inside… yet it doesn’t land. It isn’t felt or received. Not because it isn’t there — but because it can’t get through the thickness of the protection.
And the same protection that blocks life from reaching you also blocks you from fully reaching life.
This is where the work comes in.
We don’t smash the wall.
We don’t force it down.
And we don’t decide the pace.
Through the Emotion Code, we follow the subconscious — because it knows exactly how much can be released and when. Layer by layer, the emotional cup begins to empty. As it does, your capacity grows.
Now when life bumps into you, there’s space.
Less spill.
Less overwhelm.
And because there’s more room in the cup, there’s no longer the same need for thick walls around it.
What I love most about this process is how respectful it is.
The Heart Wall was built for a reason.
And it’s dismantled only when it’s no longer needed.
At a pace your system can handle.
In an order that makes sense to you — not to me.
When those walls soften, something beautiful happens.
Life can reach you again.
And you can finally reach back — with the love, joy, and truth that’s always been there inside you.
If this feels familiar, this is the work I do.
Emotion Code sessions →
https://www.healingbarn.co.nz/emotionbodycode

Melissa 🥰

07/02/2026

Some Trees Take Longer to Bear Fruit

03/02/2026

Sometimes I forget how long I’ve been speaking this language.
Not out loud — but underneath.
I think it was there in my family, quietly. In the way we sensed each other rather than explained. In the moments where words weren’t quite right, but something still passed between us. A look, a pause, a feeling in the room.
I didn’t have language for it then. I just knew when something felt settled… and when it didn’t. I knew when a yes felt like a yes, and when it wasn’t — even if the words said otherwise.
As I grew older, that way of communicating didn’t always translate. I felt misunderstood. Like I was speaking in frequency while others were listening for words. Animals seemed to meet me there more easily. They responded to what was felt rather than what was said.
When I sit with someone now — a person or a horse — I’m doing the same thing I’ve always done.
I’m listening through vibration.
A session feels like a conversation in sensation. I ask a question, and my body feels the response as a stronger or weaker resonance. The shift is immediate. Clear. Honest. There’s no convincing or analysing — just noticing how the energy answers.
The mind maps (charts I use, a couple are in the photos) help me stay in that conversation. They give the subconscious a way to guide the dialogue, one response at a time, through yes and no, through subtle changes in frequency. Is it left side? Right side? Coloum A? Coloum B?
I was reminded of this so clearly recently while working with a horse.
She wouldn’t enter her shelter when it rained. Shade was fine — rain wasn’t. From the outside it looked like a simple preference. But when I listened in the way I know how, her system spoke very clearly.
Through that energetic conversation, certain frequencies came forward — insecurity, terror, a sense of vulnerability, the imprint of shock. Each one had its own distinct feel, its own tone in the language I was listening to. I release each one through the vibration of awareness, love and gratitude through my body to hers.
During the session, the horse was gently invited into the shelter by her owner. She stayed just long enough to notice she wasn’t being rained on. Then she stepped back out. And then — without pressure — she chose to go back in again.
Something had changed.
Not because she was trained or pushed.
But because the communication landed.
Moments like this still take my breath away.
As every time that conversation flows my heart sings
A language that lived quietly in my childhood, followed me through years of feeling misunderstood, and now gives me a way to communicate — clearly, respectfully, and deeply — with those who speak in vibration first.

Melissa 🥰

29/01/2026

Over the last couple of years, I’ve noticed something humbling.

When Scott really peeves me off, it’s rarely about him.
It’s usually because he’s reflecting something back to me that I don’t want to see… or haven’t yet learned how to see in myself.

That hasn’t been an easy realisation.
There’s been discomfort, resistance, moments where I’ve wanted to look away rather than lean in.

And yet, as time has passed, this understanding has softened me.

I can feel how deliberately we attract people into our lives — especially our partners.
Not to complete us, but to reveal us.
To show us where we’re still holding patterns, protections, and old ways of being that are ready to be met with more honesty and compassion.

This kind of growth isn’t comfortable.
But it feels deeply universal.
And I’ve come to see that when we don’t show up for these invitations, they don’t disappear… they simply return in another form, another relationship, another chapter.

Some relationships come to teach us a single lesson.
Others stay and ask us to meet those lessons together — again and again — allowing the connection to deepen as we do.

I feel immense gratitude for Scott, and for the universe, for placing this mirror in my life.
Not because it’s been easy, but because it’s been real.
And because it’s shown me that love isn’t just about comfort — it’s also about growth, expansion, and the courage to see ourselves more clearly.

Even when that seeing stings a little.

Melissa 🥰

29/01/2026

Today I received my Master Health Coach Program certificate from Prekure.

The two years of learning itself wasn’t the hardest part.
What really stretched me was slowing down enough to finish my notes, trust my process, and actually submit the paperwork.

That might sound small, but for me it was big.

This journey wasn’t about collecting another qualification.
It was about staying with something long enough to integrate it — into my body, my thinking, and how I now work with people.

I’m proud of this one.
Not because of the certificate, but because I honoured my own pace, didn’t rush it, and saw it through in a way that felt aligned.

It was about staying with something long enough to integrate it into my body, my thinking, and how I now work with people.

healingbarn.co.nz/purpose-wellbeing-coaching

20/01/2026

Have you ever realised you never see your whole self at once?

You see your hands reaching.
Your feet walking.
Your body moving through space.

To see all of you together, you need a reflection.
A mirror.
A shop window.
The surface of a still lake.

Without reflection, the whole of you remains unseen.

And the universe offers reflections everywhere.

Through the people who evoke something in you — warmth, resistance, tenderness, irritation.
Through your animals, who respond to your presence before your words.
Through moments that repeat until they are given deeper awareness.
Through situations that feel charged, familiar, or quietly alive.

These aren’t random.

They are mirrors.

This morning I was told the phrase:
Universe = you in reverse.

And it’s been staying with me…

Melissa 🥰

17/01/2026

Have you ever noticed how easily you become the one who holds everything together?

The one who copes.
The one who doesn’t want to be a burden.
The one who keeps going — even when your own nourishment quietly slips to the bottom of the list.

Sometimes this looks like independence.
Sometimes it looks like strength.
And sometimes… it’s just a very old pattern of giving without receiving.

For a long time, that was my story too.

I learned early on how to be capable, self-reliant, and quietly responsible for myself. It felt safer that way. But over time, I began to see that what once protected me was also asking me to do life without enough support.

As I went deeper into my own emotional and belief work, something softened.

I realised that doing everything alone wasn’t resilience.
It was a form of self-sacrifice I no longer needed to live from.

What changed everything wasn’t handing my power over —
it was allowing the right kind of support back in.

Not support that takes over or tells you what to do.
But support that steadies you. Nourishes you. Reflects you back to yourself — while honouring your autonomy.

As I leaned into that, I noticed something surprising.

Decisions I had circled for years became clearer.
Things that once felt heavy or confusing began to move — gently, naturally.
Not because I was being pushed…
but because I was resourced.

Having someone quietly reflect what I couldn’t see, and point out the landmarks along the way, helped me recognise that progress was happening — even when it felt subtle.

I wasn’t stuck.
I was integrating.
And integration moves differently.

If this resonates, perhaps it’s simply an invitation to notice where you might be doing more alone than you need to — and what could shift if support didn’t mean losing yourself, but coming home to yourself a little more fully.

Stillness is powerful.
And so is being held while you move.

Melissa. 🥰

16/01/2026

06/01/2026

Lately I’ve been noticing how much my physical world mirrors my inner one.

The piles of clutter.
The things sitting there “for later”.
Every time my eyes land on them — or I walk past — I feel a quiet drain of energy.
Like unprocessed emotions you’re not actively thinking about, but that are still costing you something.

Our garage has been a big mirror. It wasn’t unusable — just not functional in the way we wanted it to be… and honestly, I didn’t want to go in there. It was overflowing with stuff.
It had been on the list over Christmas/New Year and we procrastinated big time.

But it wasn’t just the garage.

It was little pockets everywhere — the pantry, cupboards, spice drawer — often right where I go when I want to create.
Blocked space. Blocked energy.

There was also a lot of stuff around the sheds that was already here when we moved in. Other people’s things we didn’t choose, yet somehow became ours to deal with.
That brought up frustration and resistance — very much like ancestral stuff. You can ignore it, but it still has an impact.

As we sorted, it wasn’t just about throwing things away.
We kept what was useful, gifted or sold what had value, and released what was done.
And interestingly… there were treasures buried in there too — things I didn’t even know we had because I’d assumed it was all rubbish.

Today we burned what was ready to go, including years of old paperwork.
And it felt like an energetic release as much as a physical one.

It reminded me that release has layers.
You can do a lot of inner work and still have little physical pockets pulling on your energy.
And you can have a tidy space without everything being settled inside.

It’s not about perfection — it’s about congruence.

Clearing clutter doesn’t remove life’s challenges, but it increases capacity.
When there’s no space, it doesn’t take much to tip into frustration — like finally clearing a kitchen bench, only to have dirty dishes land there.

The reaction isn’t about the dishes.
It’s about the lack of space.

Today wasn’t just about rubbish.
It was about releasing what had been sitting unprocessed —
and creating space, inside and out, for something new to happen.

And I can feel the difference already
Melissa.🥰

22/12/2025

When everything feels louder, faster, and closer to the surface, a powerful question to return to is:

What do I need right now?

Not what’s expected of me.
Not what would keep the peace.
Not what I should be able to handle.

But what I need.

It might be:

More space than usual.

Fewer words and more quiet.

Simpler plans.

Clearer boundaries.

Extra sleep.

Reassurance.

Support.

Permission to feel without explaining.

The answer may change from moment to moment — and that’s okay.

This season isn’t asking you to push harder.
It’s asking you to listen more closely.

Let your needs be valid, even when they don’t match the season around you.

20/12/2025

Nice to see the scientific studies results coming through of this wonderful technique which is the main structure of my work.
Melissa 🥰

20/12/2025

When the volume of the season rises, we don’t need to rise with it.

We can meet it differently.

You might:

Take a few intentional pauses in the day, even if only for one breath.

Step outside and let your nervous system recalibrate to something slower and real.

Lower the bar on what “enough” looks like — meals, conversations, plans.

Give yourself permission to leave early, arrive late, or opt out completely.

Listen to your body’s cues before listening to expectations.

Coping doesn’t mean hardening yourself.
It means softening your relationship with what you’re feeling.

This season can be navigated through small acts of self-trust and self-kindness.
You don’t have to do it perfectly.
You just have to do it honestly.

Gentle is not weak — it’s wise.