24/12/2021
Kia ora everyone, it’s THAT time of year again and as we sign off for the year, we just wanted to take a quick moment to talk about relationships.
If you’re used to working and spending less time at home with your family or your spouse, it may feel like a joyous time to reconnect. For others it may feel conflicting, smothering, confronting or lonely. Wherever you sit with your relationships, it’s important to recognise that we are often triggered by others in the areas that we need to grow.
Rather than reacting when you feel upset, take a pause and reflect. What am I frustrated/afraid/sad about my partner/friend/in-law saying, doing/not doing? What do I need right now to feel safe/secure/loved/appreciated/seen/heard?
Behind every frustration is a need. So before you get cross at your brother/daughter/mother-in law/spouse/yourself for burning the turkey, take a moment to ask yourself what vulnerability was highlighted in you.
When you recognise your own vulnerability, it can change the way you communicate to others about your frustration. Use I statements - E.g., “I feel worried that people might think I am a bad host”, “I need reassurance that I am still okay, no matter how the food turns out”.
No one is perfect, stress can be heightened around this time of year because things may not go as expected, or imagined. Take a pause, reflect on yourself and remember that conflict is growth and healing trying to happen.
Meri Kirihimete,
Lee, Corrina & Bailey Hooper
