07/04/2026
For much of my life I have carried a quiet fear of being too much.
Too passionate.
Too intense.
Too big in my vision of what is possible when we gather in creation of community.
Recently I spoke with a wise counsel — Laurie from Cities of Light — and she said something that stopped me in my tracks.
She told me I should “get bigger.”
Bigger with my voice.
Bigger with the message of connection through community.
Bigger with the vision of Red Tents.
And I have to be honest — part of me felt terrified hearing that.
Because right now I am in the season of perimenopause, and my confidence sometimes wobbles. I forget things. I lose my words mid-sentence. My brain does things it never used to do.
There are days when I quietly wonder…
Should I be getting smaller instead of bigger?
But lately I’ve been thinking a lot about neuroplasticity — the beautiful truth that our brains can continue to learn, adapt, and change throughout our lives.
The other day I saw an interview with an Olympic athlete who answered questions so fluidly and deliberately that the journalist asked how she was so quick-witted.
Her answer affirmed me.
She said she takes a deep interest in her own thoughts. She journals every day and studies the patterns of her mind. She believes neuroplasticity means we can have agency over the way we think.
She said she wants to think in ways that would shape her into the person her younger self could admire.
I love that idea. It's something I've been practicing for a very long time. And taking clients through the process too.
Designing not only our goals — but designing the way we think.
And perhaps we could extend that idea even further.
What if we also considered our elder self?
The woman we will one day become.
The ancestor who will look back at the path we walked.
What thoughts would allow her to say:
She trusted herself.
She protected what mattered.
She gave her life fully.
Asking ourselves these questions puts us on what Carlos Castaneda called “the path with heart.”
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