NWow Counselling & Coaching

07/10/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1BPJcnu36n/
Such a good summary from Martha (that's who Maree did a big part of her s*x therapy training with). How do you deal with differences as a couple? How is the power balanced... equally?
If you keep relating as you are now will you be proud of yourself as you look back at the end of your life of how you turned up in your relationship? Learning to be okay with your differences as humans is vital!

25/09/2025

AI is being more and more integrated into healthcare. You might be asked at a health appointment if you consent to AI listening and recording the session in order for the practitioner to get a summary (instead of them taking their own notes).

There are some therapists and coaches also now integrating AI that watches and analyses your mood in response to what they're saying to you as well as taking notes and giving the therapist suggestions on their work.

We've reflected on all of this and noticed that we feel strongly about the therapy room being a safe, and fully confidential space for the people we work with. AI and surveillance is becoming more and more a part of our lives and we want to preserve your privacy when you share your most private and vulnerable thoughts and emotions with us. We do not use any AI to record or take part in your sessions and we still take notes on paper.

Of course, we can all choose what we personally want to share with AI in our own time but when we keep experiencing questionable and unethical actions by tech companies, you can rely on sessions with us being a safe space to fully share.

07/08/2025

Have you heard of Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM)/aka vaginal atrophy?

Shockingly (according to a Stuff article) "Independent research into GSM revealed that 70% of women aged 50+ had never heard of the condition - despite up to 84% experiencing symptoms. More than 40% had never discussed their symptoms with anyone, including their doctor or partner. Over 60% had never sought treatment." What?? :-(

I (Maree) remember not that long ago talking to my GP about vaginal estrogen. I was quite shocked then too when she told me that most women wait until years after symptoms start when things have become really bad. By bad, we're talking about sore, dry, painful sitting/walking/urinating, painful in*******se, reduced lubrication, increased frequency of urination and increased risk of UTIs.

And of course a common side effect of all of this especially in heteros*xual relationships is that the woman feels confused and ashamed about the changes, hasn't sought help but just knows everything feels really uncomfortable and sore. And then stops everything s*xual and sometimes everything physical with their partner ('cos they don't want it to lead to in*******se). If s*x hasn't been great in the past anyway, this might be the final straw.

If the couple hasn't learned to talk openly about s*x before, then the topic feels way too hard to bring up. And if the partner also doesn't know about GSM then they might not even be aware that their partner's ge***al health has changed, and is just feeling rejected and confused about why their loved one suddenly (and without discussion) declared they don't want s*x anymore and are feeling hurt that something so joyful has been taken away from them. This isn't fun for either partner!

The great news is that there are options for keeping things healthy and comfortable (a great goal for yourself regardless of whether you want to have in*******se or not). And treatments that you can start even if you've been experiencing pain for years. Lets look at them.

-- There is easily accessible vaginal estrogen. This is a Pharmac-funded cream prescribed by your GP.
-- There's a self-directed programme called The Vaginal Renewal Program which combines massage, vibration, lubrication and moisturising. Link for a downloadable pdf is in the comments.
-- There's a new NZ non-hormonal product combo called Myregyna - tablets and cream available from the pharmacy - not Pharmac funded though.
-- And if someone was wanting to explore even more innovative options and get specialised medical advice, we now also have the V Clinic in Ferrymead. They offer very thorough assessments (with longer appointment times than you get at your GP) and specialised advice with a clear treatment plan.

Have I missed anything that someone has used with success?

Send a message to learn more

13/02/2025

An abundant s*x ed opportunity that's being offered for free until April 29th:
100 Days of S*x Ed. Created by 100+ experts.
Free workshops, panels, webinars, videos, articles, research, worksheets, activities, games & more.

https://www.delvvy.com/?fbclid=IwY2xjawIaKGhleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHVDCHRYIueH-ITD0fj9A4-1lR_uAjZpKgRUBp_IUla3VY8J1GX3Q1Nr_Xg_aem_yLwgkUWtidc0HU_orHn_jw

Send a message to learn more

05/02/2025

A couple of weeks back we went to a festival and on reflection we're noticing what a great opportunity something like that offers to practice self-differentiation as a couple. If you work with us on the topic of relationships, sooner or later it's likely we'll be talking about self-differentiation.

If the word is new to you, basically it's the ability to maintain your sense of identity, values, desires, thoughts, feelings etc. while navigating relationships and differences. Sometimes we have people wondering how they can practice self-differentiation (rather than just understanding it as a concept). We thought we'd share some of the ways in which the opportunity presented itself over the course of several days:
.. noticing when one of us wanted to go to a workshop and the other wasn't interested.. when one of us wanted to dance and the other wanted to chill.. when we wanted to attend a workshop but then one or both of us changed our mind after it had started and feeling okay to leave.. when someone was talking about a spiritual view or belief as if it were fact -- and noticing if we agreed or disagreed (with them and with each other) or agreed with just a bit but not the rest.. being okay with different desires about staying up or going to bed.. being curious about how each of our experiences were with our tent - what one of us was okay with but that annoyed the other.. noticing if there was a desire to move or stretch even though you might be the only one doing it.. realising if one of us wanted to be social and the other wanted time alone.. being chilled about one of us liking a musician and the other feeling bored.. allowing for difference when one wanted to move around a lot and the other also did, or didn't.. who was hungry and what we each wanted to eat.. being able to express clearly if one of us wanted to share an experience with the other - and for the other to be able to hear that and have their own genuine response about that.. listening to ourselves and noticing what we were each feeling about leaving early or staying til the end

and SO many more situations of noticing similarities and differences and being okay with those. It's super fulfilling when you commit to relating in a way that allows you each to be open and curious about differences, ground yourself in your personal desires of what you want to experience as well as then co-creating an experience that honours each others uniqueness while also having a satisfying and connecting experience.

Let us know in your next session if you want to practice more self-differentiation in your life as well :-)

23/12/2024

2024 - Woah what a year! We want to thank everyone we've worked with for choosing us to walk alongside you in your journey.

To all the individuals and couples, we encourage you to celebrate all the big and small steps you have taken over these last months.

You and your lives are all unique. And yet there are many things you share -- Going deep and connecting with what's important to you, identifying and giving voice to your thoughts and emotions, and taking courageous action in your life to create satisfying and fulfilling relationships, jobs, a supportive relationship with yourself and overall crafting a life path that is in line with your values.

Wherever you are over the next couple of weeks and whatever your Christmas and New Years' plans, we hope you find moments here and there to pause and take a deep breath to connect in with yourself. Remember that no matter how busy things get, it's okay to choose to rest, to set boundaries and respect your limits, and in general to look after yourself as well as those around you.

Looking back, I (Maree) want to give a special thank you to all those who flexibly adapted to my limited mobility when I broke my ankle at the start of the year and had to fully shift to online sessions until I was able to get up our stairs at work again. Thank you so much for your understanding and patience!

We wish you a restful holiday and look forward to continuing our support in the new year 🙂💛

13/11/2024

We hear this a lot!

30/09/2024

We were just talking about concentration and how it can be hard to get into focusing on a work task like writing something or getting admin done. This is in contrast to our actual therapy work with clients which we love and feel very much in the moment when we're in the session. Some of this has to do with our modern distracted world, and some is connected to our personalities and our 'wiring'.

We notice between us we have a variety of strategies that help us focus when we really need to:
- Listening to calming, instrumental music
- Chewing gum
- Setting aside a long time period to only focus on the one task
- Giving permission to yourself to take numerous micro breaks to move
- Warmth - fire/hot water bottle/blanket
- Having a hot drink
- Having the option to stand while working at the computer
- Voicing any frustrations out loud
- Breaking the task down into just a small next step
- Creating an overall plan in bullet point form
- Sitting in a separate room from anyone else
- Telling yourself 'just get it done'/ 'I want this done'

How about you? What strategies do you use to focus?

Send a message to learn more

01/08/2024

There are a lot of resources we consult as part of our ongoing professional development. Some times it feels like a drag to get through the info and other times it's pure enjoyment. With a starting line like this, Stephen Snyder's book Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Good S*x in a Long Lasting Relationship looks like it'll be the latter :-) Fingers crossed!

01/07/2024

Whatever your relationship status or s*x life you don't have to be limited to having s*x in order to tap into feeling s*xy, s*xual and turned on. The auditory erotica app Quinn has a wonderful list reminding everyone of the wide range of options available to charge up your s*xual energy. Think accents, perfume, morning voice, seeing someone in their element, deep conversations... the list goes on. And it's just a standard list, right? So have a think about what your personal non-s*xual turns on are. It can help give your libido a boost if you want to or you can just enjoy feeling super empowered to s*xually charge yourself up on a daily basis for your own pleasure.

Audio stories and guided sessions from your favorite voices.

21/12/2023

As we finish up our final sessions for the year we're reflecting on how thankful we are to our clients who make our work so full of meaning and satisfaction. Doing what we do isn't just a job for us. We value the connection that develops during our work together and the trust you put in us to support you. It's also truly heart-warming to go on the journey of change and growth with you too :-)

We feel the honour of having you walk in the door and share such vulnerable emotions and thoughts with us right from the get go; your fears, doubt, confusion, sadness and frustration, hopes and goals. We admire and feel grateful for everyone who chooses to work with us.

When we first started our work Christchurch was a place where people felt ashamed to see a counsellor. People didn't speak about it with each other. And while we still have a way to go as a country, so much has changed in a relatively short time. We now regularly get told that someone's friend or colleague recommended us or that they talk with others about how helpful their sessions are. When we normalise getting help when we're stuck we no longer have to feel alone and helpless.

So thank you everyone. Thank you for your bravery in sharing with us and for helping nWow continue to operate through either coming to sessions yourselves or recommending others.

And of course Merry Christmas! We hope you have a wonderful rest sometime in the next couple of weeks and see you in the new year

12/11/2023

An interesting reflection on vulnerability. Our deepest connections require vulnerability in order to deepen and flourish, yet we may shy away from it due to past hurts and the fear of being hurt again. How do you choose to inhabit your vulnerability?

"The only choice we have as we mature is how we inhabit our vulnerability, how we become larger and more courageous and more compassionate through our intimacy with disappearance, our choice is to inhabit vulnerability as generous citizens of loss, robustly and fully, or conversely, as misers and complainers, reluctant and fearful, always at the gates of existence, but never bravely and completely attempting to enter, never wanting to risk ourselves, never walking fully through the door."

"Vulnerability is not a weakness, a passing indisposition, or something we can arrange to do without, vulnerability is not a choice, vulnerability is the underlying, ever present and abiding undercurrent of our natural state."