Yvonne Pauling Relationship Therapist

27/10/2022

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love. - Tom Robbins

26/10/2022

Once again, it's not what you say. It's how you say it… Everyone has their comfort levels, and we need to teach our partners about them as we go through life. Hopefully, we are letting them know in a kind and caring way. As you teach your partner how to respond to you, being a respectful communicator is key to that process.

How you say something is critical. If you feel that a boundary has been transgressed, invite your partner to know more about you safely. Help them understand you in your core, underneath it all, and why a boundary matters to you.

If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on couples therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually!

02/10/2022

This means someone who speaks in non-harming ways, doesn't expect you to be the regulator of their emotions, and can self-regulate. They understand that you are a separate person with separate likes and dislikes, and they can tolerate that. They stay kind (for the most part) and supportive of you, love you for who you are, and let you know that.

An emotionally mature partner has awareness of themselves, can take ownership of their own stuff, doesn't stay defended but is open, has worked on themselves and knows how they want to be as a partner. They don't want to control you. If you find yourself walking on eggshells, feeling like you need to twist yourself to make sure your partner feels ok, that won't get better as time goes on.

If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on couples therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually!

24/09/2022

14/09/2022

LA Imago Relationship Therapist Evie Shafner, LMFT, with offices in LA’s Hancock Park and Westlake Village offers Imago Relationship Therapy, Imago therapy workshops as co-facilitator at LAImago, individual therapy and marriage counseling.

21/07/2022

It takes commitment to love better. As you cross the bridge over and over to one another, you will be building a more mature relationship. https://www.mkcocharo.com/love-renewed/

08/07/2022

Applying both courage and compassion to your relationship can yield a deeper connection.

08/07/2022

Can your partner deal with disappointments with grace? With differences of opinion with maturity? In the beginning, it can be hard to not be blinded by all highs and good feelings that a new relationship brings. Being open to seeing the red flags that indicate a partner is not relationship ready is an important first step towards identifying that right person who is ready to go the distance with you.

We can learn about the qualities of our partners during conflicts. A strong relationship allows partners to tolerate each other's differences. Rather than being at odds about everything, or needing your partner to do things your way, which creates a major power struggle, you can navigate most differences with respect and ease.

If your relationship needs a tune-up, please visit my website at www.evieshafner.com for more information on couples therapy or to schedule a consultation. Now seeing clients virtually!

04/07/2022

Repost

Ask yourself the next time you are in an argument with your partner: do I want to be right or do I want to stay married? Emotional maturity in a relationship is when both partners put aside their need to be right and focus on what is best for the partnership as a whole. It is one of the hardest challenges in relationships, but also the most effective.
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We all like to be right, do we not?

Sometimes though, being right isn't worth the fight.

Sometimes the bigger thing to do is to bite your tongue and prioritize the relationship over your desire to be right.

When your desire to be right outweighs your desire to maintain the relationship, it may be time to get your ego checked.

25/06/2022

Repost

A healthy relationship is about us being comfortable with ourselves and our partners. When we stop putting unrealistic expectations into our lives and normalize healthy interactions, we will be able to elevate our relationships with happiness and contentment.
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We have been told to follow certain guidelines to create a happy life with our partner but guess what even if we follow them we might get screwed.

We try to create an ideal relationship but is there any? I mean in a relationship there are two people who were living their lives differently until now.

They are trying to figure out how to live their lives cohesively and it isn’t an easy endeavor.

No wonder a lot of us are struggling in silence.

So let’s set aside the TV show romances and Instagram couples.

It’s time to start normalizing certain things in relationships.