De Cleaver Midwife

18/03/2022

In the hospital they usually tell moms to try to breastfeed every 2-3 hours. Wake baby to nurse every 2-3 hours. That way you can make sure to nourish baby and bring in a good milk supply.

Unfortunately this isn’t exactly how it works🙄 this visual was shared in a post from a friend that I shared a couple years ago and it’s incredibly accurate.

It’s basic math that they use in the hospital to give you the “ideal” feeding schedule. This “ideal schedule” equals about 8-12 nursing sessions in 24 hours which means baby would only have to nurse every 2-3 hours.

This is their way of saying that baby needs to eat often, but this isn’t exactly how it works for mom and baby in real life. Which can cause a mom to really struggle when her baby wants to nurse more often than every 2-3 hours! Nothing like setting new moms up to fail🤦‍♀️

Because they push this so heavily, I’ve noticed that parents seem to think breastfeeding is going to be super simple and perfectly spaced out feedings like the cereal picture. It also makes it look as though all feedings should be the same size so they should be nursing for the same amount of time each time. Which also is NOT accurate.

THIS IS NOT THE REALITY. In reality, baby will have big/long feeds sometimes. Or little/short feeds. Or feeding sessions while they are still mostly asleep. Or feeding sessions that aren’t so great. Or anything in between! They are not guaranteed to sleep better just because their feedings are all spaced out perfectly and done for the same length of time.

Instead of watching the clock and timing sessions, let baby lead! Watch for feeding cues from your little one and go from there😊

I also wanted to say that I love the blueberries portion of this visual. It shows more of a reality for how nursing sessions go. Some are bigger. Some are smaller. Sometimes there’s a longer amount of time in between. And in counting the berries, there are STILL the correct number of nursing sessions for the day.

Amazing, right?! Our bodies and our babies know what they are doing. Let them lead💙💚

Words by: Ariel Kaye
Image by: .dietitian

17/03/2022

Why your newborn needs to feed so often

12/02/2022

Good discussion points

what conversations do you wish you had?

02/02/2022

There’s no such thing as false labour. 🤭

Yep, you might find one evening things start niggling, there’s some twinges, you loose your mucous plug, have some tightenings, maybe it even feels like it’s really ramping up! You’re excited! You bounce around on your ball all evening, your partner cancels their plans, you run a bath, watch a funny film, do all the ‘early labour prep’ you’ve been planning! Then you both head to bed- to get some sleep & hopefully wake up ready to call the midwife! The following morning, you wake up.. and nothing! 😫 That evening the cycle repeats.. the following morning NOTHING! Now you’re feeling disheartened, tired, impatient, stressed 😬 it FEELS like ‘false labour’, someone might have even told you it’s ‘false labour’.. but it isn’t ❤️

Allow me to reframe things for you. Every single moment of pregnancy- your baby and your body are preparing for birth. Every single minute that passes is one minute closer to meeting your baby. In the last few days of pregnancy there’s so much going on in there that we can’t see from the outside that needs to happen before your baby is born; just because it’s ‘stopping & starting’ or moving slowly, doesn’t mean your body isn’t doing exactly what it’s supposed to! These early surges might be encouraging your baby to rotate into the right position; they might be helping your baby tuck their chin down & align themselves for birth; they might be moving your baby further down into your pelvis; they might be causing your cervix to soften, draw forwards, shorten, or begin to open.. you’re doing everything right!

So if this is you in a few months time, a few days or maybe even as your read this- you’re already one minute closer to meeting your baby 💪🏻 this is one minute you’ll never do again and SOMETHING in there has changed! Things ARE always moving forward! And it WILL reach a point where the starting doesn’t stop, until you have your gorgeous baby in your arms!

So for now- 📺 Distraction 🧖🏿‍♀️Relaxation 🌬Breathing 🙏🏻 Patience 👶🏼 and trust ❤️ You’re so close. If this was you, what are your best tips for staying positive during this stage?

📸

19/01/2022

Love

Megan | Hypnobirthing & Birth]
・・・
There’s a moment after birth,
placenta born,
baby fed.

First wee due.

Bleeding between your legs, more than you imagined.
Pads shoved between your thighs, you holding the front, a helpful hand grappling with the back.
And you shuffle.
Cautiously.
Gently.
Tentatively.
Off to the toilet.
Drip, drip behind you as you go.
A little trail of red, lest you forget your way back.

First wee imminent.

Giving birth is so unique. But it’s so the same. These moments.

These are the moments that tie us.

Mother to mother.

So extraordinary. But so ordinary.

The first wee walk.

Words Megan | Hypnobirthing & Birth]
Photo

05/01/2022

Looking for a more comfortable way of feeding....try this out

19/12/2021

There are often so many misconceptions when it comes to attachment parenting. This is why our platforms are so important to us, challenging the narrative and normalizing parenting. 🗻
What does attachment parenting mean to you?

Coffee & Cosleeping

🌸💕🌸 For support in your gentle parenting journey, pick up a copy of our gorgeous spring issue - with beautiful FREE pregnancy journal - from supermarkets throughout NZ and newsagents throughout Australia! To find your local stockist, or to subscribe, visit https://linktr.ee/TheNaturalParentMagazine 🌸💕🌸

16/12/2021

👀

🌸💕🌸 For support in your gentle parenting journey, pick up a copy of our gorgeous spring issue - with beautiful FREE pregnancy journal - from supermarkets throughout NZ and newsagents throughout Australia! To find your local stockist, or to subscribe, visit https://linktr.ee/TheNaturalParentMagazine 🌸💕🌸

29/11/2021

This is a lovely visual of why holding your baby helps them adjust to life on the outside. The message it contains is not limited to the fourth trimester either. The same still applies afterwards too, babies love to be held and thrive with high levels of contact.
Carrying Matters - Dr Rosie Knowles

Carrying Matters - Dr Rosie Knowles

🌸💕🌸 For support in your gentle parenting journey, pick up a copy of our gorgeous spring issue - with beautiful FREE pregnancy journal - from supermarkets throughout NZ and newsagents throughout Australia! To find your local stockist, or to subscribe, visit https://linktr.ee/TheNaturalParentMagazine 🌸💕🌸

07/11/2021

"Me aro koe ki te hā o Hine-ahu-one"
✨
"Pay heed to the dignity of women"

25/10/2021

Aotearoa’s Home Birth Awareness Week begins, quite suitably, on Labour Day each year. During this week, families and communities around the nation celebrate the choice that all women have, to birth at home in New Zealand. For Home Birth Aotearoa, the national collective of New Zealand’s home birth support groups, it brings a chance to highlight the positive effects of home birth and home birth support groups on our communities.
Contrary to the widely accepted notion that birth is risky, Home Birth Aotearoa’s stance is that the perceived risk, promoted through a diminished birth culture, does not accurately reflect the lived reality of the majority of women in Aotearoa – healthy, well women, carrying healthy, well babies, who can be born at home. In New Zealand we are fortunate that we can choose to birth where we feel the most comfortable and safe, where our hearts tell us our babies should be born. The research may support what our hearts tell us but we don’t need that when we feel empowered to believe in our own knowing, when we know that we have our midwives behind us always supporting us in our power to be mothers.
As women we honour our midwives not as proscribed modern-day health professionals but as our time-honoured partners who journey with us, sharing important secrets of life and death and a belief in our power and courage as birthing women. When we are free to choose our place of birth and free to choose only the people we are truly connected to, to participate in our unique birthing experience, we are expressing our humanity and a way of being as authentic and safe as life gets.
Whilst this year our Regional Home Birth Support Groups throughout Aotearoa are unable to celebrate Home Birth Awareness Week with events including documentary screenings, family picnics and coffee morning gatherings, like many years past. Home Birth Aotearoa believe that every person who supports home birth within their community is creating positive change to our birth culture here in New Zealand and that is why this week will be a big week here for us thanks to the power of social media.
Whatever you are doing this week to share the home birth love – enjoy and remember that for many the journey to home birth begins with a conversation, so simply telling your story may be the catalyst for someone to explore the home birth option.
Please talk and interact with us, share with us- your stories and photos and beloved memories as we do our best to connect with you all here. We love sharing the homebirth love.

Original article by Sharon Knightbridge, changed a little to reflect our current climate.
Https://homebirth.org.nz

Photo from- Bobbie-Jane

10/10/2021

12/08/2021

We are so excited that our surrogacy journey has now been published!! Venetia has beautifully captured our story of illness, infertility, surrogacy, home birth and induced lactation, which we hope will inspire and encourage others who may be facing similar hurdles. It is a story filled with hope, resilience and love.

We cant wait to share this with everyone at our upcoming book launch - details to come....... Watch this space 🥰💕

05/07/2021

Very cool!

Brrrr, its cold this morning. Breastfeeding mama - did you know your milk changes for the weather? As it is a cold day, your milk will have more fat in it to keep baby warm. How cool is that?

04/06/2021

20/03/2021

So normal for babies and young children to wake in the night.

Up for a midnight feed? Know that you’re not alone, it’s very normal for babies to wake and feed frequently during the night in the early years.

Sometimes this can be exhausting for parents which is why it’s important to raise awareness of how to sleep safely with your baby.

https://www.laleche.org.uk/safe-sleep-the-breastfed-baby/

14/03/2021

This is what home birth looks like,

Midwives sitting at the table chatting, sipping coffee and water.

Your best friend sitting on the floor playing with your toddler.

Your partner holding your hand while you work with the waves that rush over you to bring your baby into this universe.

Home birth isn’t how the movies depict birth. It isn’t an agonizing mother in hospital bed. It isn’t a woman who’s left to do the work all on her own. It isn’t unfamiliar doctors and nurses ushering in & out of your hospital room.

Birth is,
Powerful.
A rite of passage.
Transforming.
Empowering.
Normal.

25/02/2021

Truth!

Too often birthing women are making sure that everyone else is comfortable.

‘He was uncomfortable with me birthing at home, so I am birthing here’.

‘ She said she will be at my birth but she thinks I am putting my babies life at risk’.

‘I know you hate the hospital, but I would be more comfortable if you birthed there’.

Everyone elses fear being put on to the birthing woman and too often the birthing woman takes all those fears and tries to appease them all.

But what if instead she said,

‘This is what I am doing, where I am birthing, why I am choosing this… This is where I will feel safe. I would like you to be there but if you can’t support my choices, I respect that, but I would rather you didn’t attend the birth.’

It is a huge call but sometimes calls like these are crucial for a successful birth.

If a labouring woman enters a space that invokes feelings of fear and discomfort, there is a good chance that her body may not perform. It will shut down, close up, go into protection mode. The body will be signalling that ‘this place is not a safe place to birth’ labour will slow, perhaps even stop. Rather than it being acknowledged that perhaps Mama is feeling unsafe, she is labelled ‘failure’ and intervention ensues and then the grand ol ‘thank goodness we were in hospital’ tagline hangs over her head. But what If she didn’t feel fear?

For your body to do what it needs to do during labour, it needs to be in a space that invokes comfort and calm. The people attending need to be supportive and respectful of Mama and her wishes. For some that space may be at home, it may be hospital or somewhere in between. But what matters most is the birthing women is labouring where she chooses and those around her come along for the ride. Mama is able to create her space, dim lighting, music, she can move, sway, dance, wail, cry, whatever her body is communicating it needs and in the space that she is comfortable, she can listen. With no fear, her body is wide open, ready to receive her baby.

Everyone that enters your birth space, is there by invitation only. When you birth, you don’t need to be carrying their fear. Birth is a team effort between Mama and baby and it is an honor to witness it, not a right.

29/01/2021

❤

15/09/2020

Beautiful ❤

I've been rocking and cuddling my baby to sleep since that day he was born. I mentioned this to a nurse at my clinic recently. She said that she did the same thing with her son, and everyone warned her that she would still have a teenager sleeping in her bed. And then she told me that, a few weeks ago, her teenage son came home from school very upset. He didn't want to talk, and just went to his room and listened to his music, typed on his phone and cried. The mother gave her son space, and night time came and she went to bed. Just as she was about to turn off her side light, the door opened, and her 15 year old padded into the room. He climbed into the bed with her, laid his head on her shoulder and cried.
He told her all about the girl that broke his heart, all about the friends who laughed, all about the stresses of being him. She told him about her first broken heart, about friends who'd been cruel, and told him she understands. They talked in the dark for hours, until he feel asleep in her bed. Still sad but relieved after their talk.
'So you see' she said to me, when she finished the story. 'I was so scared that I wound wind up with a teenager who would 'need me' at night, that I never stopped to consider how beautiful that would really be.' 🌟

Words by the beautiful L.R.Knost - Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources
Photo by the talented Angelickpicture
https://www.instagram.com/angelickpicture/?hl=en

https://www.instagram.com/themotherhoodprojectnz/?hl=en

14/09/2020

Yes!

05/08/2020

Dearest Mama,

Thank you for giving me your milk, it was my favourite thing.

I loved to be near you, I felt calm and safe and happy.

I loved when you stroked my face and we looked at each other for hours.

I’m sorry sometimes I was a bit pinchy, or would fidget, I didn’t mean to hurt you, it’s just that your milk was so magical it made me sleepy.

The dreams I had that started with your milk were the sweetest.

Thank you for stopping your world to feed me,
I’m so little that I won’t really remember,
but I hope that you do,
for always x .

The End

World Breastfeeding Week 2020

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21/07/2020

How long did you breastfeed for? Beyond the cultural norm...wonderful conversation to have.

BREASTFEEDING BEYOND THE CULTURAL NORM…
Breastfeeding long-term is undoubtedly a growing phenomenon and mothers are increasingly willing to be open about their practice. This not only alerts other mothers to the possibility of long-terming but it also opens the floodgates to inevitable torrents of prejudice and the voicing of common myths; held not only by the general public but also by most psychologists. The most damning of these is that children are developmentally harmed by the practice, with the underlying assumption that mothers continue to breastfeed for their own selfish purposes.

The survey* I ran for my book ‘Breastfeeding Older Children’ comprehensively dismissed this latter charge. Mothers spoke of being led into the practice by their children. Many said that if it had been previously suggested to them that they would go on to breastfeed a child for years, they would have been astonished, even horrified. Yet, as the years passed, their children’s wish and need to continue became evident. Some mothers tried to wean at culturally acceptable ages and spoke of children’s feelings and reactions: of their being “devastated”, emotionally “crushed”, exhibiting “anger”, of their distress and incomprehension at the threatened or actual withdrawal of the one thing they loved above all else. Anyone with direct experience of long-term breastfeeding has no doubt that children have a deep need and profound urge to continue to breastfeed.

Critics claim that a child’s wish to continue to breastfeed is an indicator of developmental delay: that the child is overly-dependent, that the mother has failed to school the child into independence. Such a view is Western-centric and displays ignorance of the fact that, in many cultures around the world, children are allowed to breastfeed for several years, to no ill-effect. Young children are dependent, but western culture requires children to become independent as soon as possible and moreover believes independence has to be induced. Mothers who breastfeed long-term take different view. They believe that children, in the fullness of time, become independent without interference, that children should be allowed to mature at their own pace and not be forced into (apparent) self-reliance before they are ready.

Keep reading here https://bit.ly/37SPfaz

📷 Breastfeeding Berkshire
❄️ For support in your gentle parenting journey get your copy of the new Winter Issue 39 of The Natural Parent Magazine https://linktr.ee/TheNaturalParentMagazine ❄️

30/06/2020

Since the pandemic began, hospital trusts and care systems have taken measures and made recommendations that affect the options available to pregnant and birthing women and families.
🌼
These measures and recommendations vary depending on where you are in the world. Which in itself tells you that there is much that we don’t know for certain. If we did, we’d all be doing the same thing.
🌼
Some of these - for instance the suggestion that women with an active CoVid-19 infection give birth in a consultant unit - are just recommendations. It’s up to you whether you agree to this or not.
🌼
Other recommendations and restrictions aren't optional, but you still have choices. For instance, some hospitals are restricting the number of people who can be with you during labour if you decide to give birth there, but remember that you don't have to go anywhere in labour until/unless you want to. You don’t have to agree to procedures such as induction of labour unless you want to. (Loads of induction info at www.sarawickham.com)
🌼
The important thing to remember is that, while you can't always insist on being given something that you want (such as the use of a facility in the way that you want it), you can always say no. You may also want to try to negotiate before the big day.
🌼
But hospitals and health professionals are also under enormous pressure to do the right thing, and in most cases they are genuinely trying to protect as many people as possible.
🌼
And when choices are being restricted in the interests of public health, it's more important than ever to think about what you would want in different circumstances and what your plan B and plan C are. More on that in What's Right For Me? Making decisions about pregnancy and childbirth.
🌼
But remember: your body, your baby, your decisions.
🌼


www.sarawickham.com/wrfm

27/06/2020

Hint: They don’t just get ‘dad bods.’

02/05/2020

04/03/2020

Empowering birth story ❤

01/02/2020

It's interesting to me how much time, effort and investment many people put into their wedding day and subsequent holiday or honeymoon following. Sometimes the cost can reach into the thousands. Don't get me wrong, getting married is a memorable occasion that should be marked with celebration. 💗🥳🥂 However, I do wish that our culture celebrated birth and the postpartum in the same way; as a time of great significance for a woman and her partner as they make the transition into parenting. A time that is as profound as it is challenging, as joyful as it is anxiety arousing. A time when both parents need to be given the utmost love, care and support from their community.

I encourage the mothers and families that I work with to view the postpartum as the 'babymoon' following the birth of their baby. A special and sacred period of time to plan for and set aside to bond and fall in love. A time when others need to care for them so that they can focus their full attention on caring for and getting to know their new baby.

When mothers and couples honour and invest in a slow postpartum the benefits are multitude and their journey into parenthood one filled with joy and satisfaction.

#

09/01/2020

It’s the first time you’ll see your future child. After a few measurements you’re told your baby’s due date. But this “dating scan”, as it’s known, is unnecessary in most cases.

21/12/2019

Be kind to me this Christmas... from a little person's point of view:

- You've probably let me eat more sugar than usual - I'm bound to have higher highs and lower lows.

- In the holidays I'm out of routine - I can cope better with transitions when I know exactly what's coming next so please explain our plans for the day clearly to me.

- The anticipation of Christmas can be pretty overwhelming and exhausting. Help me to rest by keeping to my normal bedtimes.

- Travelling at Christmas is stressful for all of us. When possible, be flexible about when we travel and check the traffic before we leave.

- I have no idea about the value of money - if there's no way I can have that giant lego set for Christmas, then please tell me well before Christmas morning. I'll have time to get over my disappointment and I'll learn to trust your honesty.

- Grown-ups find preparing for Christmas stressful. I know you want it to be perfect for me so I'll have memories I can cherish forever. But I see you getting stressed, sometimes even before you do. I pick up on it and reflect it like a mirror. Please slow down, notice me, talk to me, play with me. That's what I'll remember.

- When I lose it, and I probably will at some point, please don't make me ashamed of my feelings by shouting at me. I never set out to deliberately disappoint you and I didn't try to ruin your Christmas. I'm really not that calculated. I'm just a little person whose brain deals with stress in different ways to yours. Please try to understand me, from my point of view.

And when all else fails, wrap your arms around me and hold me so I feel the strength of your love.

Credit ~ Esther • Esther's Childminding 🥰

21/11/2019

❤

Te Ha Ora is a kaupapa Māori childbirth and parenting programme. It focuses on the normality of birth and home birth as an option. Lisa Marie Kelly is one of...

06/11/2019

Truth!