11/08/2022
Offering to feed the baby often comes from a place of kindness. After all, babies need feeding lots right? It's a big thing? You could just give formula or she could express for you?
Well if she asks for that sure... if she says she's ready to stop breastfeeding then absolutely ... but if she's happy to continue? Then there's a million and one other ways to help (ok, I can't quite list a million here but I bet there are).
If breastfeeding is going well it's often quickest for her to just feed the baby. Expressing milk isn't necessarily easy (and if she's doing it for you to feed the baby then you better be doing all the other stuff that goes along side it like cleaning bottles and the pump). Even if feeding isn't going well she may not want to escape from it. She may still want to do all the feeds whether it's challenging or takes longer or whatever. Respect that.
If you're genuinely looking to make things easier for her, what often helps more is doing all the other stuff that goes alongside having a baby.
If you're too far away to help, and can afford it, send support. Would a cleaner help? Some healthy delivered meals? Or indeed not so healthy. What about paying for some postnatal doula sessions? Or an IBCLC? Netflix? An audible subscription? If money is tight, reassurance and love from afar can go a long way.
If you're visiting:
Do some housework
Look after older children
Sort the pets out / dog walk
Do a food shop
Cook meals that can be frozen
Make cakes and healthy snacks
[I'm on a roll here with the food ideas]
Offer to drive to appointments or just to get out of the house
Hold the baby in between feeds or take the baby for a walk (if she's happy to be separated)
Sort out other visitors. Play the bouncer.
Go and be a supportive companion during those first feeds in public if she's nervous
Or... just simply shower her in kindness
This is how we can all better support breastfeeding. What else helped you or would you have loved people to do?
