01/03/2026
I've said this many times before, usually in the opening of circles or at the beginning of a session "you are safe here" or "you are safe with me". I obviously always said it with good intentions. But who am I to assume that you will feel safe with me? I am going to do my absolute best to support you and to create a safe environment for you, but in the end your nervous system will decide whether you feel safe or not. I don't decide that.
We are such sensory beings! Certain tones of voice, words, smells, sounds, touch, and body language can trigger the nervous system. So even if I had the purest and goodest intentions, I don't know all your triggers, and sometimes you don't either.
Safety isn’t something I can declare into existence for you. It’s something we co-create through consent, presence, and responsiveness.
What I can promise is this:
I will be attentive.
I will show compassion.
I will move slowly enough to notice when something shifts in you.
I will respect your boundaries.
I will stay curious instead of defensive.
I will repair if I misstep.
I will honour your nervous system as the authority on your safety.
And if your body ever says “not yet” or “not here,” I will trust that wisdom. Because the goal is not for you to feel safe with me. The goal is for you to feel safe within yourself, in your own timing, in your own way.