16/07/2025
Life, huh🤷♀️
As I sit to write this post, after being absent from social media for a few months, I reflect on how my life has changed, so dramatically, over the last 2 and a 1/2 years… so I’m going to catch you up.
THE SAD STUFF…
•2 1/2 years ago, lost beloved hubby very suddenly (massive spontaneous brain haemorrhage) while in Canada, on a ski holiday. (Maybe inherited, maybe relating to a long term injury.)
•Dealt with sooo much sh*t… everything from being alone there, to grieving so deeply and intensely like never before, to dealing with painful travel insurance company, to navigating changing flights home, to the legalities of cremating my beloved, to proving Power of Attorney (because we had to pull-the-plug), to issues flying with human remains, to planning his service but being in limbo for 7 weeks in between, to arriving back to NZ with only $18 to my name and no job (contract had finished just prior to the trip), to still ugly crying a bucket of tears until 2am every day, to acting like ‘nothing-to-see-here’ at the new job, to not being able to ‘take time out to grief’, because I had absolutely no financial assistance.
Well, I survived. And it does get easier with time.
AND THEN…
•Amazing light bulb switch moment while at a friend’s wife’s funeral some time later. The poem ‘She (He) is Gone’ resonated so incredibly with me, like I was the only person in the world who could ever understand the grief, and within that same poem, instructions on how it was actually possible to go on living. (If you are grieving, you simply must read this.)
•Vowing then and there to say yes to living and making the most of every day.
•Saying yes later in the year to dog-sitting my high school sweetheart’s dog for a month while he rode motorbikes in India, (and to skiing while there, because he lives in the mountains in South Island, NZ).
•Dog then sadly died😳 (she was 14😢), so upon suggestion from said sweetheart that I should change my trip so we could hang out and ski together after his India trip, I DID!
•To embracing the sparks that then flew!
•Then dealing with the elation and at the same time feeling as guilty as all hell, like I was cheating on my late beloved. If you’ve ever been through this, you’ll know the awful feeling only too well!
•To saving my own sanity by being able to separate these two wonderful men in my head and my heart, because I’m embracing life! (They were friends through me, late beloved would absolutely want me to be happy, and he would be happy it’s sweetheart I’m happy with!)
•To another year later, throwing all caution to the wind and saying yes to moving in with sweetheart in his mountain town. (OMG, it’s sooo beautiful!)
•And to acknowledging EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. how incredibly grateful I am for this beautiful ‘lemonade’ life (after the lemons).
LESSONS:
•Life can change in a heartbeat.
•Don’t ever take it for granted.
•Don’t ever take your loved ones for granted.
•Never ever forget, nor stop loving and cherishing those who have left you, nor the wonderful memories.
•But DO keep on living!
•We all deserve every bit of happiness after grief.
So, I’m embracing every day.
“Life’s a journey, not a destination.”
Enjoying my journey🥂
Rox💜
