Maire Joy Sexologist

17/04/2026

Mōrena my lovely followers. I have woken up on the Otiria Marae - I’m here because I’m a Māori member of the New Zealand Counselling Association and we are having our annual Māori membership gathering. I’m a Maori rep on the takatāpui/rainbow advisory group for the national executive, doing advocacy work in this important space. This moment in time is so culturally nourishing and connective and lush for me. My culture and a mix of indigenous healing modalities and practices inform so much of my work. I’ve found a quiet moment in the midst of this three day event to connect with you. Hope you are all having a beautiful day.

12/03/2026

Many people think intimacy difficulties are about desire, attraction, or communication.

Sometimes the missing piece is sensory processing.

Our nervous systems constantly track sensation - touch, sound, movement, pressure, temperature, closeness - and these signals influence whether intimacy feels:

• safe
• overwhelming
• exciting
• distracting
• grounding
• or disconnecting

Understanding your erotic sensory profile can help you:

• identify what enhances pleasure
• recognise early signs of sensory overload
• communicate preferences and boundaries
• create erotic environments that support your nervous system

I’ve created a free Erotic Sensory Assessment to help you explore how your sensory patterns influence your erotic experiences.

It’s informed by sensory profiling frameworks and designed for both personal exploration and practitioner-supported work.

You can access the tool via the link in my bio/musings of a s*xologist-blog

https://mairejoy.com/2026/03/11/erotic-sensory-assessment/

11/03/2026

After a few months of research and consultation, its finally time to release this exciting new tool - Erotic Sensory Assessment - for practitioners, and also a self use exploration guide.
What Is an Erotic Sensory Assessment?
This is an exploratory tool that is informed by modern sensory profiling tools. Dr. Winnie Dunn and Tina Champagne developed the original frameworks and this Erotic Sensory Assessment integrates aspects of their work into the erotic experience. Their work helps us understand how sensory processing shapes safety, regulation, overwhelm, underwhelm, and connection, all essential ingredients of erotic wellbeing. Sensory profiling tools are used by professionals to identify the sensory patterns that influence everyday wellbeing, particularly for individuals who are neurodivergent, experience anxiety, or have a history of trauma.

For practitioners, this Erotic Sensory Assessment supports guided inquiry, somatic s*x education, and collaborative reflection.
Practitioners using this tool are encouraged to apply it within their scope of practice: integrating trauma-informed, neuroq***r affirming, and consent-based frameworks.

For individuals engaging with this tool, it offers a structured way to explore your nervous system needs within erotic contexts. Individuals engaging with this tool may find it helpful to explore these reflections with a qualified therapist, psychos*xual or somatic s*x educator, or trusted support person, particularly if strong emotions, memories, or sensations arise.

This is not a clinical assessment and does not replace any formal sensory profiling tools - although this tool has the potential to enhance an existing assessment.

This is an exploratory tool is informed by modern sensory profiling tools. Dr. Winnie Dunn and Tina Champagne developed the original frameworks and this Erotic Sensory Assessment integrates aspects of their work into the erotic experience. Their work helps us understand how sensory processing shapes...

01/03/2026

Only half way through and absolutely loving it. Lots of deep think for therapists working in these spaces. Conversations about minority stress frame works, affirmation and exploration approaches, differences and overlaps and so much more …. ‘Our ethical call is towards metapsychologies and clinical spaces that treat gender and s*xual diversity not be simply making room for them or accepting them, but by delighting in the pleasure of difference’
Reminds me of a moment in time about 8 yrs ago - I was going into a school to run a post su***de support group for a rainbow youth group who had recently lost one of their members to su***de. I was talking to the head nun of the school and she said we are very ‘accepting’ of our q***r community and I said oh no that term is a bit outdated we say ‘celebrate’ now… and she wrote it down in her book and underlined it a few times.

25/01/2026

Watched this 9 episode show for the 3rd time on the weekend, with a close friend who is a palliative care nurse. We laughed and cried over and over again. What I love most about this show was the courage, conviction and unapologetic rigour with which a dying woman set out to discover her s*xual self. An adult woman with with nothing left to lose and the ultimate goal, yet to be achieved - to have an or**sm with another human. I loved the innocent accidental discovery, and then exploration, of power play. The curiosity about the different ways people might access pleasure and do relationships, the celebration of kink, the moments of q***rness, and the realistic trauma thread woven throughout. This all coupled with a sobering look into what some people’s death experience might be like. The whole story based on a true story. Yes it’s mainstream and it’s not perfect but I’ve throughly enjoyed this show. Now on my favourites list, I’m recommending ‘Dying For Sex’ to you. Enjoy.

21/12/2025

The Deep Psychology of B**M and Kink offers a potent and expansive perspective that challenges outdated, pathologising narratives about kink. Drawing on the mythical underworld, archetypes, and the human psyche, Douglas Thomas shifts the question away from what is wrong or what caused this, and instead invites the reader and therapist, to ask something more kink positive: what is seeking expression here? Kink is framed not simply as behaviour, but as a potentially meaningful expression of desire, power, and connection, carrying real emotional and personal significance.

As a s*x and kink positive educator and therapist, I appreciated how deeply this book respects lived experience while offering language that helps make sense of why kink can feel grounding, healing, or profoundly connective. It’s not a how-to guide, but it is a thoughtful read for therapists, educators, and reflective humans seeking a more compassionate and psychologically informed understanding of kink. At times I found the content enthralling, toward the end it felt a little rambly, but overall I valued the expansive impact this book had on both me and my practice. Lap it up folks.

19/12/2025

Kia ora folks, what a year it’s been. My books have been full of people coming to me to work on their pleasure, s*xuality and relationships. I ran my first Pleasure Lab - a series of workshops for q***r neurodivergent women. My post grad studies in s*xology @ have been so awesome. Who knew studying could be so riveting. And here I am on the Big Lezzo Boat Party having a dance - meeting heaps of new folks and getting out of my comfort zone. Loving life. Thanks for the cool party and photo -

28/11/2025

The Erotics Of Mess. On caves, kink, hoarding, and the strange ways pleasure finds us — a conversation with s*xologist Maire Joy Barron - An article writen by Rata Gordon.

On caves, kink, hoarding, and the strange ways pleasure finds us -- a conversation with s*xologist Maire Joy Barron

25/11/2025

A beautiful day, filled with amazing people, learning on this important topic. So much connection and culture.

18/11/2025

A comedian, a s*xologist and a s*xual assult counsellor walk into a bar….

13/11/2025

Kia ora social media folks. Just reflecting on how glad I am about my decision to share my recent writings. My ADHD article was read over 740 times across 25 different countries. My trad wives and kink article has been read by over 150 people across 17 countries and counting. I put so much work into researching and writing these articles, it’s great that they are being consumed by so many. These articles started out as my post grad university assignments that I have adapted into blogs - so very different to my usual writing style. What’s interesting is the radio silence about the articles, which is the way of the internet. And thank you for those that have reflected back. I imagine some of the stuff I present is very different to how others think, feel and experience life. That’s the benefit of sharing our thoughts with others - to feel and possibly appreciate the vast and rich diversity of our world. Researching and learning is such an expansive experience for me.

07/11/2025

New blog is up!

This article provocatively and facetiously argues that tradwife culture is kinky. While politically and ideologically distinct, both share the cornerstones of power and control.