13/10/2023
Hello friends,
It's been a very long time since I posted on here properly and it's been several months since I could sit with any degree of comfort and write or hold myself upright to concentrate with any degree of tension mental or otherwise.
Even though I continue to do light duties and sessions as circumstances allow, writing is something I've shoved aside for the present time and I've really missed sharing, connecting and being present in this forum as well as missing contributing in several others.
This week I've received the news I likely have a nerve impinged in two places in my spine, plus likely damage to the nerve bundle right at the bottom tip of my spine (not to mention disc damage and left SI joint). This was a shock (hearing others acknowledge this to me) although I've known this inside myself for a long time.
It's a bit hard for me to share this as I'm still coming to terms with it and am feeling very vulnerable whilst in severe pain and dealing with a lot of uncertaintly about the future.
I've also received an urgent referral to the local back surgeon which scares me for many reasons. Partly because of previous misdiagnosis from his colleague, as well as the general incompetence I've seen here in many, (if not most) health professionals.
Most are simply incapable of dealing with complexity (even those with masters degrees), are concerned with the money and rely on their position to generate their lifestyle rather than being client centred.
That's without the condescension, gaslighting and inability to take me seriously because of my gender, which has caused serious delays and blockades to my treatment, undoubtedly contributing to my current situation and outcomes.
The upside of this malarky is that I've learned the system really well, how to deal with difficult people and get what I want anyway. And I've met one or two absolutely brilliant and special people along the way. These individuals are absolute rock stars, are usually free thinkers and operating outside the system just enough to make things work for their clients.
As many of you already know the health system here in Aoteoroa is broken at best and completely f**ked at worst, although there are pockets that work, there are gross incompetencies, systemic failures and a lack of transparancy and poor standards of training and care in general.
On that note, I hope you will all get out and vote accordingly today (if you are in NZ), because there is really important stuff at stake this time.
I see more desperation, suffering, crime and despair every day in this country and of course as the orchestrated gap between rich and poor continues expanding. This will rapidly escalate and become the norm, especially depending on the outcome of today's election. In fact here in Nelson, we've had an armed robbery, attempted murder of a woman by her partner and ram raid all within the last two weeks.
Anyway, politics aside, I am thankful for all of you, for your continuing support and acknowledgement of my work and for me as a person. The connections I have with those of you I know and/or who work with me is very special and means a lot to me.
I am available for sessions in a part time capacity and will hopefully eventually return to full capacity in the not too distant future...I've had to discontinue my clinical psychology studies for now, but I hope to be back when I am healed and I am continuing with my psychotherapy studies.
With much love
Rose 🌹🌹
