09/04/2026
For several years, I noticed a pattern. In the days before the anniversary of my mother’s death, I would wake with a heaviness in my chest. A patch of dread. A sadness that sat just beneath the surface, unable to find release.
Then, on the anniversary itself, something would shift, and the weight would lift.
This happened for a number of years even when I hadn’t consciously registered the date approaching.
My body knew before my mind did.
This is called an anniversary reaction, maybe you recognise it?
Anniversary reactions occur on or around the date of a significant loss or trauma.
It can look like:
🩶 Sadness or emotional numbness
🩶 Anxiety or a sense of foreboding
🩶 Physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or stomach discomfort
🩶 Irritability or difficulty concentrating
While often most intense in the first year, they can recur for many years afterward, sometimes without any conscious awareness of the approaching date.
These reactions are not a sign that something is wrong. They are the psyche’s way of continuing to process, perhaps by what couldn’t be fully held at the time of loss. An invitation to tend to what remains unfinished.
When met with compassion, they can reconnect us to meaning, to life, and to the deep thread that still connects us to those who have died.
If you find yourself feeling inexplicably low or unsettled at a particular time of year, it may be worth gently asking: what does this time of year hold for me?
Have you experienced anniversary reactions? I’d love to hear your reflections in the comments.
