11/02/2026
Valentineās Day. The time of year where the world, more than ever, tries to sell us āThe Love Lieā.
Not that LOVE is a lie.
But what weāve been taught about love is. The way weāve been socialised to seek it, how we think of it, what weāve been told to expect from it. The idea that we canāt be truly happy without a partner.
Real Love doesnāt look anything like what weāve been sold.
Love is not magical - at least, not in the fairytale sense. It doesnāt happen by chance (or fortune). Itās not about being swept up in a feeling, butterflies in the stomach, or obsession. Itās not flowers, chocolates, expensive meals, or āromanticā gestures. Those things are fun and exciting, sure. But anyone can offer those - and anyone can get caught up in those.
The performance of āloveā is easy.
But Love is not.
And itās no āhappily ever afterā either.
Love - be it romantic, platonic, or other - is mutual respect, equal partnership, support, safety (both physical and emotional), consistency. Itās being able to be your whole self - and letting them be that too. Itās shared values, hard conversations, and honesty (with yourself, and with them). Itās a willingness to hear them, and be influenced by them (without walking away from yourself). Itās a commitment to grow, separately and together.
Love is not a fantasy, and itās not about someoneās potential. Itās being able to say, āif they never changed or moved (not even an inch) from where they are now, I would still choose themā.
Itās not performing āloveā one day a year. Itās saying yes to someone, exactly as they are, day, after day, after day.