Nathanael Dei Gratia Counselling

16/03/2026

despite the messages from society at this time - emotional safety comes first. Evidence shows that when a brain is under stress - or dysregulated we cannot take in information. When people are under extreme stress they need support and need to know that they will be safe.

Some children sit quietly in classrooms while their minds are racing with worry.

They may look like they are listening, but inside their brain is busy scanning for safety, managing big feelings, or trying to hold themselves together.

When the nervous system is in survival mode, learning simply cannot take centre stage. The brain prioritises protection before curiosity, connection, and thinking.

This is why emotional safety is not a “soft extra” in education.

It is the foundation that makes learning possible.

When children feel safe, understood, and supported, their brains can finally shift from protection to participation.

Have you ever noticed how a child’s ability to learn changes when they feel calm and secure?

15/03/2026

23/02/2026

You are the navigator, you hold the keys to the map. I work with a lot of people where their map has been dismissed, or snatched from them - and people disempowered. The reality is the only person who knows you the best is you.

12/01/2026

Kia ora, back in the office - just showing you a view of the room. It has been changed around during the holidays. Please give me your feedback when you are with me. Also a reminder - if the lights are too strong or something doesn't work, talk with me and I will try and resolve it if it's in my ability :-)

01/01/2026

Kia ora, just letting you all know - I'm on leave til the 6 January 2025 - I will be back then for private sessions

01/01/2026

This! I love working with asd young people and adults and chatting about their special interests - it gives me joy. As a neurodivergent adult with adhd - it can sometimes lead me to hyper focuses.

One of the best things about counselling is allowing people to unmask, to allow people to be safe in exploring who they are

23/11/2025

Please read this article if you want to know about the positives of puberty blockers. I like many others who work with trans youth are dissopointed and saddened by the governments decision to ban the use of puberty blockers in trans youth. This policy is discriminatory and will lead to emotional and social harm. The current regulatory system has been in itself very caution, with loads of checks and balances, allowing for tamariki, rangatahi and their important adults and whanau to work together for the best outcomes. It will lead to more cost along the way for our health system and deny support for young people. I have seen the transformative affects of gender affirming care, including t and e and puberty blockers.

A survey of trans youth highlights the enormous value of puberty blockers – and the strong need for continued access to them.

18/11/2025

This is a good look at ADHD and Autistic burnout.

Neurodivergent burnout causes exhaustion, sensory overload, and loss of functioning. Learn how to recognize it—and what helps with Autism and ADHD recovery.

09/11/2025

One of the biggest challenges as a parent is to remain centred and connected. Parenting is a tough gig, particularly as we manage our own energy and selves through life.

We’re often quick to correct, but real change starts when a child feels seen, heard, and safe. Behaviour shifts when there's connection. Lead with empathy, not just discipline.
"Connection changes behaviour more than correction ever will."

More information in my book
Guidance from The Therapist Parent
Available on my website www.thetherapistparent.com and Amazon

26/09/2025

Yep, as parents, we are doing to get dysregulated. It is part of who we are.

22/09/2025

I've been thinking a lot about grief lately. Seeing people put rules around how "we should" grief, and how "we should" relate to those who have passed is always one of the most frustrating things for me. Grief is a deeply personal experience - there are ways to help work through the experience, but, as I grow older, the more and more I realise it is different from each time - it brings up things about ourself in relation to us, and also to those we are in relationship too.

I was thinking a couple of days ago about grief, and how often it can be a reminder to embrace the good things we have. Grief also can be a mix, for me, sometimes it can remind of those relationships I have and to honour them, and celebrate the memories and the joys of life.

For others, grief can be intensely difficult. Sometimes the person/ thing we lose we may not have a great relationship with, for example, a abusive parent, or a community / or a belief system that may have aspects of meaning, but have been deeply toxic and hurtful. Grief may remind us of trauma. This is ok.

The emotions we deal with with grief may so depend on the person, place, experience. Sometimes we have relief, sometimes we are deeply angry, sometimes we are sad, sometimes we may have joy. All are ok

The process of grief is not one to be boxed in, I personally get angry when I see people subscribe a one size fits all approach.

Personally the way for me is to be empathetic with myself when grieving, allowing the emotions, following the needs that are called up, been kind, been open, and been curious with myself.

If you are grieving at the moment, I hope you have a place you feel safe to process and to be.

08/09/2025

Great little tips