16/03/2026
My Mum called me into the bathroom to mark a lump on her breast. She was crying. Little 5 year old Nina said “it’s okay Mumma, you’re going to be okay” and that was the start of my journey; in many ways.
I started looking after her, taking on the role of the carer, not intentionally I’m sure but probably almost naturally.
She was only 33 at the time and battled on and off with cancer for 5 years before losing her life at 38.
At 10 I became the mother. Coming home cooking, cleaning and caring for my Dad and brother as much as I could.
Into my late childhood and early teen years I was obsessed with saving animals. Bringing home stray ducklings, injured birds, kittens and eventually backpackers that had nowhere to stay much to my Father’s disgust I’m sure. 😂
I took on the roll of saving, fixing and being strong.
These blueprints in our lives aren’t always because we want to be a certain way. Sometimes that’s the way life plays out for us and who we become because of our circumstances.
Most people don’t understand human behaviour and how one becomes a certain way but it’s fascinating when you do!
The more you heal your past, the more you understand others as well as yourself.
The part around being born knowing I had to or would survive resonates so much as I’ve nearly died many, many times in various ways and in fact have actually died for 3 mins with CPR about to be started in the middle of nowhere in Africa.
But do you know what; in the vast majority of those accidents, I was the one saving myself. Managing the accident scene when others couldn’t or I was alone. Fixing, saving, healing, being strong.
A lifetime of that took its toll on my nervous system and for so many years I lived in a high state of stress/fight or flight/hyper-vigilance - ready to fight to survive.
I hope this helps you perhaps look at others you’re close to and pause and reflect on how their past may have contributed to who they have become.
It’s not always pretty; PTSD, anger, rage, insomnia, depression, anxiety, illness ~ there’s so many ways prolonged hyper vigilance can play out.
Does this make you think of anyone in particular or even yourself?
🎵 Mum’s fave song. 🤎