09/09/2025
I’m sure most Mamas feel this way after loss. I remember being terrified of losing John when I was pregnant with him. I had bleeding which triggered me and I went straight for a scan to find his heart was happily beating away. Then I had neurological issues which started from around 15 weeks pregnant and I still physically struggle now (not that anyone would be able to tell) and because of this health issue I fell around 15 times while pregnant with him. Then once he was earthside I was terrified of SIDS and It’s only in the last year my fear of losing him has slowly disappeared, I trust him and his abilities to keep himself safe. But that’s not come easy.
Thinking of you all, it’s ok to be nervous, terrified and constantly worry, I can only hope for you that all is ok and your baby arrives safely in your arms and your love and excitment take over that feeling of worry.
Being pregnant after losing a baby is terrifying.
The joy feels muted.
The celebration feels fragile.
Every twinge, every pause, every check-up has you holding your breath.
You smile for the scan, but your chest doesn’t unclench until you hear that tiny rhythm.
You set up the nursery in slow motion, afraid that hope itself might be too risky.
You carry both love and fear in the same hands.
Each day is a fight to trust that this child will actually make it home with you.
It’s a season overflowing with gratitude - but also shadowed by grief, nerves, and scars few will ever fully grasp.
To every mother walking this path of pregnancy after loss: you are courageous.
And you don’t walk it alone. 🤍
