01/05/2023
"Reframe your negative thoughts"
I bet you've heard advice that says "be sure to replace all your negative thoughts about birth, with positive thoughts".
now I'm not saying that it's completely wrong or worthless to only focus on positive thoughts about your upcoming birth!
what I am saying, is that it's not enough just to ignore the negative thought, by placing a 'band-aid' positive thought over the top of it.
by avoiding all negative thoughts, you miss out on being able to better understand what it is you are actually anxious about, or what you actually fear.
so often, the things that (we think...) we fear, are the things that we have been told to fear! vs knowing what we actually fear.
negative thoughts, fears, concerns, and anxieties are valuable ways that you can learn more about yourself,
and learn more about the birth that you want.
it's also an incredible learning opportunity.
for example if you have fears about pain, then yes maybe a good affirmation is "I can handle anything for 1 minute" but it might also be good to learn about how your body works, and how best to facilitate your physiology so that you can work with your body through these sensations.
the real birth prep, is knowing that certain things might happen AND that you can handle them, through using coping tools, or making the decisions that you want to make in that circumstance.
ignoring your fears and anxieties isn't that helpful afterall.
being realistic about the 'negative' things that could happen, allows you to consider making decisions that reduce the risk of those things happening. and if they do happen, you have a preferred plan on how to navigate the situation.
meeting your fears head on vs sweeping them off to the side, helps to avoid situations where you might be blindsided by something you didn't know about.
this is just scratching the surface of how to work through fears and anxieties about birth, but I hope it provides some food for thought!
👋Hi, I'm Megan!
Virtual & in-person Doula in Auckland, Childbirth Educator, and mother to 2 boys!
🤩DM to with with me 1:1