17/02/2026
Chapter 3 (of 4): The Darkness & The Foundations that saved my ass, and might save yours one day.
So - Chemo gets zero stars from me.
Each round was different. - I liken it to stages of grief - I went through a denial and shock round, a deep fear and anxiety round, a depressive and aching sadness round, then came acceptance, and what felt like a collapse of time.
One day I landed on my best friend’s living room floor sobbing in tears.
Some days I stared at a wall for hours trying not to throw up while my kids asked how much longer.
Some days I Face-timed my Mum with no words, and just cried at her, probably ripped her soul apart, but she knew how to pull me out of the hole (that woman is incredible)
Every day I just looked into my husband’s eyes and asked ‘why?’ - man deserves a medal.
I lost 10kg after surgery - so eating became a full time job, slightly difficult when you just want to puke all day.
Surgical menopause + cancer diagnosis + chemo + surgery recovery at 43 is no joke.
There were dark mental spaces. We talking’ darrrrk.
Physical spaces that felt unbearable, that were disgusting.
And yet.
Because I had years of Strength training, Real food habits, Nervous system work, Therapy, Spiritual grounding, A deeply solid support network (yes, there’s an entire book dedicated to this crew!)
I could trust my mindset would recalibrate, even in the harrowing moments.
I knew I had the evidence that I could fall apart and rebuild (and my family reminded me daily)
The love was wrapped around me. I mean, can you ask for anything more in life?
LOVE IS THE FRICKIN ANSWER.
The forest heard me sobbing, nature listened as I yelled out loud, vented, released, begged, sobbed, laughed, and always, always saw something beautiful through my exhausted, dizzy eyes. Hold the faith I would remind myself.
As a life coach, you always wonder if you’re actually walking your talk!
CAN CONFIRM - this happened and I didn’t want to change a thing - EXCEPT create more TIME with my family - something no one has the right to power of.
But I can stand solidly in myself now with confidence and I say I am living my ‘best life’ and I will continue to help others do the same.
My coaching has always been about foundations - food, movement, mindset, intuition - I never quite new why it mattered so much to me, why I was so passionate about supporting people to have this baseline of strength and wellbeing habits.
Well now I know, it’s because when something awful like this lands, you need a solid foundation of great nutrition, exercise and belief, so that the next step up to “wellness survival doesn’t feel impossible”.
I also want you to be able to not wish you had changed some huge part of your life earlier. I want everyday, for everyone, to be a little bit magic (of course thrown in with the dishes and the admin) but you deserve greatness. Everyone does. Their own kind of greatness.
When the rug is pulled out, the step up to survival shouldn’t be miles away!
So many times throughout this, the medics and the wellness guru’s all said one thing in common - eat healthy and move your body, I thought, thank goodness these fundamentals are already part of me.
Survivorship of chemotherapy has a 50% increase if you are able to exercise through it (yup somedays that looks like a 10 minute walk before falling back to bed) but imagine trying to start doing that if you weren’t already moving your body each day.
My nutrition plan was tightened up quite a lot, but I already ate a whole food diet, so this jump and change wasn’t really hard either.
See what I am saying here - sure - we can’t avoid some illnesses, or injuries, but we can sure as heck support our recovery and joy…if we do the work and build the foundations before the ‘tsunami of horror’ arrives.
Much love to you all x
