Two Hands Traditional Māori Healing and Bodywork

24/07/2025

Why does something so sacred – like being proud of yourself – feel so tabu when its called out!

I grew up as the black sheep of my whānau.

The younger sister. The one who “got everything”.. that’s how it looked to my siblings. But it wasn’t like that. I had fewer restrictions, FOR SURE!, but what my siblings saw as freedom, I often felt as neglect.

I was the youngest by quite a few years. By the time I was 10, I was left to tend to my own needs...left to my own devices! Often in my own world...
Looking back now, I can see that my parents were in their own state of turmoil.. facing their own demons.
My mum retreated to to protect herself..to survive really and my dad turned to alcohol and many other self sabotaging behaviours. This opened the door to patterns and behaviors that did not serve any of us.

My sister looked at me through a lens of anger and betrayal and I coped the brunt of it. My brother.. He was never really there. So it makes sense his "go to" when dealing with conflict- is often to avoid and retreat.

What followed were years of self-destructive behaviours. Alcohol, drugs, self-harming, self-neglect, often putting myself into unsafe environments.. that only lead to more self destruction. I became my own worst narcissist – beating myself up- constantly for years after! I believed I wasn’t worth much, and my actions echoed that belief.

And yet… through it all, a seed had been planted.

Somewhere deep inside, my whānau had instilled in me the message: "Stand on your own two feet." Though it has often felt lonely and hard to accept – it has in served me and still does.

My journey has absolutely been one of standing on my own two feet. And while I don’t blame my whānau now – I see why they retreated, why they shut down and reacted they way they did..but it didn't mean I haven’t the carried anger ( rage) and grief..possibly for the whole family!

From the outside, we probably looked like a “normal” family. But every whānau carries mamae..inner trauma...often hidden behind closed doors. Some are just better at masking it.

My journey has been about RECLAMATION.

Learning to love and honour myself..ALL parts of myself.
Changing my patterns.
Rewriting the inner dialogue that has kept me small and insignificant.
Tending to the pain no one else has been able acknowledge.
Because in truth – no one else is going to do that for me.

You may long for your whānau to see you. Acknowledge you. Accept you- Maybe they will one day...or maybe they never can. People can only ever hold.. what they can hold in themselves.

So it must start with you.

Loving yourself is hardwork. It takes a daily commitment. A reprogramming of all the old stories you created in your heart to survive. But it’s possible. And it’s powerful.

To those of you showing up for yourselves… doing the mahi… making daily choices to change …

Be proud of yourself whānau...that takes work! Courage!

Show up every day with your kaupapa in mind. For your tamariki. Your mokopuna. For all those coming after us.

We aren't here to change the world.. we are here to change our whakapapa- that can only ripple out.

And it starts with being proud of the journey that got you here.

HARD OUT!! Own it. Honour it.

I see you.

And I am so proud of every single person who has the courage to get on the table… to show up… to shift those generational wounds.

I can't leave this kōrero without honouring my Husband Brenden x You always need someone in your corner! And that person has always been you. I often say.. I have no idea how you landed in my life when you did! But you have continued to love me- even when I have not loved myself x Thank you for always being there and walking this journey alongside me 💜💜

Arohanui x

24/07/2025

SHOWING UP...IS OFTEN THE HARDEST PART OF THE JOURNEY 💜 Especially when were are stepping into something unknown, where it feels vulnerable, unfamiliar, even a bit uncomfortable..

When we’re moving from a space of survival into something bigger.. like our own growth, empowerment, or potential, there’s usually a whole lot of resistance.
Trust me..its absolutely normal to feel this way!

Because it means we have to show up differently. Let down our guard and allow ourselves to be seen.
Within the space of growth we are asked to let go of the habits, old thoughts, patterns, and the protection that once helped us survive.

But the truth is, what once kept you safe might now be the very thing holding you back.

Showing up for yourself isn’t easy...but it is honourable. Something to pat yourself on the back for..Especially when the kaupapa you’re walking towards matters more than the wound you’re walking from.

That shift, that decision to keep moving forward, even when it’s uncomfortable.. that’s where the magic starts to happen. That's where the potential lies.

If you're getting call to step forward x trust it..🤎

23/07/2025

💜💜

Kia ora e hoa mā,

It's that time again where our rōpū will be offering the koha clinic to all those wishing to receive Romiromi and Mirimiri.

Nau mai, haere mai we will be at Hā Ha Pai Wellness next to Maorilands tomorrow Thursday 24th July from 4pm - 7pm.

No bookings required. Just come on in and we will get you onto the next available table. This is open to all ages from new born right through to our kaumatua.

We look forward to seeing you apōpō.

Mauri ora

20/07/2025

"GIVING IS THE EASY PART..RECEIVING IS WHAT'S HARD"...

We often pride ourselves on being the giver.. of time, of energy, of love, of service. It feels purposeful. It feels noble even. But when the tables turn… and someone wants to give to us.. That's when things get uncomfortable.

Why is it so hard to receive?
Is it because we've been taught to be strong, independent, self-reliant?
Is it because somewhere deep down, we question our own worthiness?

True balance is not just about the outpouring.. it's about the flow both ways.
To receive with an open heart, without guilt, without shrinking, is a practice!
And sometimes… the deepest healing happens when we allow ourselves to be held, to care for...

19/07/2025

📞Waea mai, 📧 īmēra mai rānei!

Get in touch if you are interested whānau! Details in the poster below ⬇️

🌱🥣

17/07/2025

THE GREAT ASSIGNMENT 🤍🤍🤍

Lately, I've been receiving many downloads, and one whakaaro that keeps coming through strongly is around “The Great Assignment.” It’s been sitting with me for a while now, especially since feeling like I’m transitioning..from “Maiden to Crone,” from SEEKER to TRUTH, from QUESTIONING to INNER KNOWING.

At first, it felt a little uncomfortable to talk about, especially because I know this term has strong links to religious scripture. And if I’m honest, religion has never really sat well with me.

I went to a catholic college growing up, and from that experience, I witnessed things that had me questioning. The way people treated others in the name of their faith, based on certain beliefs, never felt aligned with the love being preached. It felt contradictory, and from what I saw, heard and experienced. It was hurtful..shameful!

But now, as I reflect back, I can also see how those experiences helped shape the way I am today.

I’ve always been someone who discerns deeply, someone who questions, observes, and doesn’t take things just at face value. I feel into things. I listen way beyond words and love to be open to perspective.

To me, God is not a man in the sky... it is not a man at all. God is energy. SOURCE. The purest vibration of AROHA.

I have never understood...how could that energy ever hate, judge, or shame others? How could it discard anyone, when it comes from a place of unconditional love and acceptance?
That kind of behavior doesn’t come from the truth in which the Bible was intended. It comes from human hands, from fear, from distortion, from power systems and control.

My whakaaro of “The Great Assignment” comes from the purity I believe was in the original wairua of the Bible..the heart of its intention. AROHA.

What if we all came into this world with our own unique assignment?

Maybe it’s to learn how to truly love ourselves and honor what we value most-to lead from our heart, to trust our own path based on the journey we’ve walked, with true intent.

Maybe it’s to serve..to give to others with understanding and empathy, to help others remember who they are.

In some ways, I believe we all share the same assignment. And in other ways, it’s completely unique.

We all carry different challenges, different obstacles to overcome. Some of our journeys feel heavier than others. Some of us were born into deep intergenerational wounds, cycles that have played out for years, decades, centuries...possibly since the beginning of time.

But I believe these challenges..these soul-level assignments, are not punishment. They are opportunities. They are the karanga for us to rise.

To return to the purity of who we are.

To stand in our Mana, in our Aroha, in our Light.

And maybe… that’s the Great Assignment.

TO REMEMBER WHO WE ARE.

To love deeply. To forgive. To let go. To trust.

To serve.. even through our own healing.

To be a great mother, father, aunty, uncle, grandparent—for our pēpē to learn that there is no greater energy than love.

To walk our path with intention..so that others can remember theirs too.

Xx

14/07/2025

Tihei Mauri Ora!! There is life...

There is always a deep remembering of my connection to Source. to AROHA. to SELF..when I connect to the Awa. To Te Taiao!

"He mihi nui ki Te Awa o Tauherenīkau ki Wairarapa! For always holding me in your loving embrace! I always feel a fresh sense of strength and vitality for making the space to connect!

To my dear friend and Sister Tracey Lee Whaanga for my new taonga! She is me. and I am her Xx

10/07/2025

WHAT WOULD THE WORLD BE LIKE IF WE DROPPED ALL EXPECTATIONS?

I sat with a mentor, friend, sister last night.
And a whakaaro came up that felt quite profound…

What would the world be like if we dropped all expectations—of ourselves and of others?
What would that mean for our STATE OF BEING?

We’ve all been so indoctrinated by an endless list of societal expectations…most of us running on autopilot, not even realising we’re doing it...

And often, because of that, we struggle to trust our own authenticity..and let's be real the authenticity of others.
We’re left questioning—what’s right? What’s wrong?
Should I do this, or should I do that?
Is it okay to let go of the expectations?

And what would actually happen if I did?

To be honest… it can become a bit of a head f**k..excuse my language.

When you go on the journey of self-awareness, self-love, you arrive at a place where you start to question your own thoughts, behaviours, and actions:
Are they still serving me?
Am I doing this out of love, or out of obligation?
Are the things I used to do really aligned—or were they more about keeping up appearances?
Trying to keep up with the Joneses?
Worrying about what the neighbours will think?

And sometimes we give...not from a pure place of love but as obligation or with the quiet hope we’ll receive in return.
We place boundaries or show up for others with this silent..unrealistic expectation that they’ll know what we need... and that they’ll meet us there.
But when that doesn’t happen, we start to feel let down...possibly alittle resentful.
“Why am I always doing for others… yet no one shows up for me?”

Or even why can we not receive without the idea that we have to give back in return? Isn't it nice just to receive? And allow ourselves to receive? A struggle I know! Especially for wāhine!

It becomes a subtle cycle of giving to receive...or receiving to give back.. There seems to be no space for authenticity in this cycle of silent expectations..

Imagine what the world would be like if we let all of that go.
If we simply trusted that what’s meant for us will come...will BE..as it's meant to..without expectation or control of the outcome.
That we don’t need to chase, control, or bend ourselves to keep up... That we can give freely to the things we truly love and have space for..Knowing this can change all the time- through different stages of our lives.

How would that feel?
How much more time and space would we have for the things we genuinely want to do..need to do!

I look back now and realise that for years… I was running on false expectations of myself.
Doing what felt right in the moment… but ultimately burning myself out every time. And often leaving the things that held more importance on the shelf.! Like my whānau, my whare, myself!
And it made me ask—were my actions truly authentic? Was I pushing myself for reasons hidden in the subconscious.
Would I really be this depleted if I were living in true alignment?

It’s a humbling...and slightly confronting place to arrive at...I have to admit.
And it still takes time to settle into and integrate into life.
Even when we think we’re doing things in alignment, sometimes we’re still working off an subconscious system…
An old story that doesn’t feel quite right in the heart anymore.

So.. e te whānau.. I ask you??

What would happen if you let go?..and trusted in the natural flow of life?

How would your relationships shift?

How would life look… feel… move differently?

Would you have more space to breathe? To relax?

Would the world be more kind, more honest, more authentic, more true?

09/07/2025

09/07/2025

Mauri ora e te iwi,

We are past the shortest day of the year which means we are on our way towards Te Kōanga (Spring). However there is some cold weather still ahead of us.

To make sure we stay in tip top shape and keep our tinana strong and prepared it's a great time to come to our koha clinic and help release any stored mamae, tension or emotion that is stuck in the tinana. When our tinana and wairua are strong then we are less likely to succumb to those nasty flus that are floating around.

Our beautiful rōpū of practitioners will be available again this Thursday 10th July at Hā Ha Pai Wellness next to Maorilands in Otaki from 4:00pm - 7:00pm to offer Romiromi and Mirimiri to all who wish to get on the table.

No booking is required and the exchange is koha.This clinic is open to all ages. Rongoā Māori does not discriminate so everybody is welcome. If it's your first time or you regularly attend, Nau Mai Haere Mai.

It's a privilege and honour to offer this clinic to our local community and we are humbled every week by your continued support.

Nui te mihi ki a koutou 🙏