Anniina Talaslahti Gestalt Therapist Trainee

Full of Gestalt

It is June 2020 and I am sitting on my bedroom floor writing this. We are out of Covid-19 lockdown in New Zealand, but the pandemic is still working its way through the world. At the moment I am six months away from being able to call myself gestalt therapist. I have a few clients and sometimes I feel truly nervous of being in the therapist role even though I am in the end of my training and I am well supported by my supervisor Susanne. I have had thoughts of not being good enough, having butterflies in my stomach and feeling my heart pounding when I meet a new client. All this, because I am trying something new, taking a risk of failure and getting out of my comfort zone.

I have also felt bubbling in my chest, my body wanting to jump up and down and had unstoppable urge to smile. I have had the privilege to be present when a client has an Aha! moment. I am talking about the moment, when you suddenly realise something important, something that seems totally obvious the second you get it, but which you had no access to just a few minutes ago. The moment of insight, seeing the light or becoming truly aware of something about yourself. When I witness a moment like that, I get back my confidence. I know that my life experiences and the knowledge I have gained during my training, can be enough. I keep learning more every day.

You could say that my journey of becoming a therapist started a long time ago. It started from those times in high school when I felt I did not belong and found my role as a mediator or a diplomat. Or maybe it started from those long walks with my troubled teenaged sister pouring her heart out to me. Between the beginning and today I have had my share of troubles. Times when I have not wanted to be here at all. Times when I have done things I am not proud of. I’ve also had happy times, graduating from university, having a baby, falling in love.

Different people, benefit from different kind of therapy. For me, gestalt therapy just clicked. It made sense to me. Especially the experimental part of it did. In order to know if something works for me, I have to try it out myself. Also awareness and body awareness, seemed logical. How could I know what I want, if I don’t know how I truly feel and think about things? How can I know if I like something, if I don’t stop to feel the sensations its creating in me? I also like that it is not just talk therapy and dwelling in the past, but trying out things physically and emphasizing the experiences you are having right now. There is a lot of creativity in it.

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