Talkin Headz Counselling

17/07/2025

16/07/2025

You're invited to a special live-online discussion with Deb Dana, LCSW, —renowned polyvagal expert, Co-Founder, and Course Partner at PVI.
Monday, July 28, 2025, 12:00pm-1:00pm ET

This free community event is a rare opportunity to hear directly from one of the leading voices in the field of Polyvagal Theory. Deb will answer your questions, share practical insights, and offer guidance on how to apply polyvagal principles in your own life and work. Whether you’re just beginning your polyvagal journey or have been integrating the theory for years, you’ll leave with renewed inspiration and deeper understanding. This is a special chance to connect not only with Deb, but also with fellow students and practitioners from around the world who share your commitment to creating safety, connection, and healing.
We can’t wait to come together, learn, and be inspired by Deb’s wisdom and warmth—you won’t want to miss this special event!

Please note: we are unable to offer a recording of this event. We hope you can join us live in real time.

Register here: polyvagal.org/events

16/07/2025

Cognitive dissonance is what happens when your brain and body are screaming one thing, but the words you hear from them tell you something completely different.

Your nervous system feels on edge. You feel the tension, the anxiety, the shutdown. But then they say, “I love you.” They tell you that you’re overreacting. They remind you of all the good times. You want to believe them, because believing the alternative would shatter everything.

This split between what you know deep down and what you’re being told creates emotional chaos. Your body registers danger. Your mind tries to rationalise safety. And the disconnection between those two states leaves you frozen in confusion, doubt, and shame.

This is not you being weak or dramatic. This is your brain trying to survive something it can’t fully make sense of. Cognitive dissonance is a trauma response. It’s your system trying to protect you from the unbearable reality that someone who claims to love you is also harming you.

If you feel stuck, unsure, or ashamed for staying too long, please know this. You were not confused. You were traumatised. And your survival system was doing its best.

You don’t have to keep questioning your instincts. You were right to feel what you felt. Healing begins when you stop trying to make the story fit and start trusting the truth your body always knew.

Have you ever been here? Let's share stories without shame

16/07/2025

The words we speak to our children don’t just echo in the moment — they settle into their nervous system, their self-worth, their sense of what’s possible.

When we speak with criticism, they learn to question themselves.
When we speak with compassion, they learn to trust themselves.
When we speak with belief, they learn they’re capable.
And when we speak with love — they carry that love into every corner of their lives.

This is how language becomes legacy.

Not through grand gestures — but in the quiet, consistent ways we shape how they see themselves.

Because how we speak to our children becomes how they experience the world.

And the stories they live tomorrow begin with the words we choose today. ❤️

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16/07/2025

This one stings — but it’s worth sitting with.

Because confidence isn’t built through praise alone.
It’s built through safety.
Through the tone we use. The way we respond. The energy we bring into the room.

Yes, we all have hard days.
But when raised voices and sharp words become a pattern, it teaches more than we realise.

Not just about us — but about them.
About their worth. Their safety. Their place in the world.

Apologies matter — but so does prevention.
So does self-awareness. So does repair.

Because every moment we choose calm over control, presence over power,
we’re not just avoiding a meltdown — we’re building a foundation.

Let’s raise confident kids by first creating a world where they feel safe enough to become confident in.

It starts with us. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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16/07/2025

Quote of the Day

Today's Topic - Meltdowns & Tantrums/Building Regulation Skills

IN THE RESOURCE STORE - INSTANT DOWNLOAD
EMOTIONAL REGULATION, the TOOLKIT/PARENT PACK (age 4-12yrs) at https://thecontentedchild.co.uk/product/emotional-regulation-the-parent-pack-age-4-12yrs/.

16/07/2025

There’s nothing like parenting to show us just how much growing up WE still have to do.

We expect emotional regulation from children — while we yell, shame, and slam doors.
We demand maturity — while we model reactivity.
We want cooperation — while we dish out commands with no room for connection.

Children aren’t the problem.
Their behaviour is a mirror — reflecting what they’ve been shown, not what they were born knowing.

And too often, they’re punished for being human
by adults who haven’t yet learned how to handle their own humanness.

We expect children to regulate emotions we haven’t even mastered ourselves.
We punish them for being impulsive, reactive, overwhelmed —
as if those aren’t feelings we still battle, too.

Not only is emotional dysregulation normal for kids —
it’s normal for HUMANS. All of them.

But instead of helping them through it,
we often respond with the very behaviour we’re trying to correct…

We scold them for yelling, then raise our voice.
Demand they stay calm, while losing our cool.
Call them disrespectful, while dismissing their need for dignity.

The truth is: they’re not “misbehaving.”
They’re developing.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness.

Because if we want to raise emotionally intelligent children, we have to become emotionally intelligent adults.

We have to pause more often.
Reflect more honestly.
And repair more bravely.

THIS is the work.
And it starts with us. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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16/07/2025

Quote of the Day

Today's Topic - Meltdowns & Tantrums - In the Moment Strategies

16/07/2025

Inside Parenting 💗