19/12/2022
I admit it. I am a “nice-a-holic.” It's hard to share this because it is embarrassing, but I have learned that I am happiest when I tell the truth, when my mouth and my heart say the same thing.
To trust that if I tell the whole truth and do it with kindness (the real kindness which means telling the truth with integrity), that all my fears won’t come true, that in fact the opposite will happen. My guess is I am not the only one who does this, and by sharing my struggles you’ll be inspired how to fix yours.
It’s all about fear really. Being nice and saying “yes” when I mean “no,” or not telling people when I am disappointed, or not holding them accountable for things they agreed to or should be doing, at work or in my personal life, causes me all sorts of problems.
First, it makes me unhappy, sleep poorly, angry, irritated and the stress it causes me makes me feel tired and icky. And it creates more messiness in my life. It always backfires.
Being nice when you are unhappy or disappointed or need to express what you need is a form of lying. The amazing thing is that when I tell the truth, then those in my life, whether it is employees, friends or family know where I stand, what I feel and we can have an authentic, and more profound relationship – which is what I was trying to create in the first place but with exactly the opposite and wrong strategy.
