28/05/2025
“Sometimes, Women Lead Because Men Won’t.”
This was my reality during my single years. I’m a naturally dominant woman—an achiever, a risk-taker, an alpha female. I tried, with all my heart, to encourage my ex-boyfriend to step up and lead. Gusto gyud nako nga siya ang mo take charge, mo barog as a man, mo lead namo. I believed in him. I believed in the man he could become. I prayed, encouraged, supported, cheered him on… pero balik-balik ra gihapon ang kasakit. He just wouldn’t lead.
Yes, I’m strong. Yes, I’m driven. But as a Christian woman, I know my role. I believe in the Proverbs 31 standard. I never wanted to dominate—I longed for a man who could lead me with vision, courage, and direction. I wanted to submit to a man worthy of submission. Pero bisan pa sa tanan nakong paningkamot—wala gihapon. He remained trapped sa iyang insecurities, always intimidated by my strength.
And let’s be honest—sometimes, lalaki ra gyud ang problema. Some men are too afraid to lead. Not because women are too much, but because they choose to stay small.
I don’t think being an alpha female is wrong. Dili sayop nga kusgan ta. Because when men refuse to rise, to take the lead—someone has to step up. And most of the time, it’s the woman.
The breaking point came when he told me:
“Mas maayo man ka mo plano ug mo lead… ikaw nalang ang mag lead, ako nalang ang mo submit.”
Pagkadungog nako ato nga words, mura kog nabunalan. It was that moment I knew—tama na. I had to let go. That long-term relationship had to end.
And it hurt. It really did. Kay I gave everything. I tried everything. But even the strongest woman will walk away when she’s constantly forced to carry what was never meant to be hers.
But God—God is still good. Faithful gihapon Siya. He rerouted my path and gave me a husband who is not afraid to lead. A man who is strong, confident, secure. Dili siya mahadlok sa akong pagka alpha. Dili siya ma-intimidate sa akong drive. Dili siya ma insecure sa akong achievements. Because he knows who he is. And because of that, willing kaayo ko mo submit under his leadership. No struggle, no resentment—only trust and love.
Sometimes, it really is the man’s fault. They chase after strong, independent, successful women—only to be crushed by their own insecurity when that woman outshines them. They forget:
Ang ilang role kay mo lead. Mo barog. Mo tame—not to control, but to understand and handle—a strong woman with care, love, and vision.
If you’re a strong woman reading this—don’t apologize for being who you are. Just wait for the man who isn’t afraid to be stronger. The one who leads with humility, not ego. The one who won’t make you shrink just so he can feel tall.
