27/07/2025
ORGANIZED NA FAMILY SET-UP BA NAIS MO SA SARILI MONG PAMILYA?
"Organized family set-up series by DrAngelo E BasePhd"
SCENARIO:
WIFE - sa kanya ang bahay. May anak siya sa una. Nakatira sila doon with her new husband na pinakasalan niya, kasama din ang kanilang sariling anak.
HUSBAND - Good provider. Good father & husband. No past wife or issue with his parents or family. Started with a clean slate.
CONFLICT:
1. Maingay na anak ni wife (sa una) dahil sa online games, sa tuwing uuwi si husband.
2. Wife na mapagduda lagi sa husband niya about his "past relationship" sa workplace nito.
3. Husband na may "anger management" issue against his wife and her child from prior relationship.
SOLUTIONS:
1. Since ang marriage ay isang "spiritual institution" na hindi ginawa para pamunuan ng dalawang ulo, isa lamang ang itinakdang "ulo" nito, ang husband o ang lalaki. Dahil ang isang katawan ay nangangailangan lamang ng ISANG ULO. Pag dalawa ang ulo ng isang katawan, "monster" ang tawag dito.
So misis, kahit ikaw ang nakapapeles na may-ari ng bahay ninyo, hindi na siya "bahay mo" lang ngayon. Bahay na siya ng buong pamilya mo na may "isang ulo", na siyang ginagampanan ng husband mo. Let your husband feel na siya ang "ulo" ng bahay mo by giving him the "full authority" to set rules in "your house". Sabihin mo ito sa kanya. Do not wait for your husband to do it. Give him that "authority" ASAP. He would appreciate it later and be grateful to you for giving him the RESPECT he longed to receive from you. Now he can set the rules to your children about "noise pollution" in the home. Wife's role? To enforce the house rules set by your husband. Every home needs ONE policy maker, not two policy makers. So you can both produce law abiding children in the society later, not confused children for having two opposing policies from two "policy makers".
2. Isa sa requirements ng pagpasok sa marriage ay "TRUST" (pagtitiwala), at hindi "doubt". Kung marami kang doubt noon pang bago kayo kinasal, di mo na dapat itinuloy ang kasal ninyo. Pero "love" siguro ang umiral sa iyo kaya tumuloy ka sa pagpapakasal sa kanya. Kaya lang, TRUST ang kasunod na dapat iiral sa iyo after ng kasalan. Dahil may pirmahan kayong ginawa sa araw ng kasal, kalakip naman dito ang legal obligation ng bawat isa na mag-TRUST sa isa't isa (hindi yung "Trust" na condom). Na maalis sa inyong isipan ang takot (na magtaksil siya) dahil lason ito na magpapadumi ng inyong kaisipan hanggang sa dahan-dahang lalasunin nito ang buong katauhan mo. Gaya ito ng epektong binibigay sa tao ng panonood ng mga tele-nobelang laging may tema ng pagtataksil at mga "anak sa labas".
So, anong dapat mong gawin misis para hindi ka laging nakabantay kay mister? Make yourself "fruitful" or productive by discovering your passion. This passion, when nurtured well, can turn into profits. Then save such profits for the benefit of your marriage & family. Your husband would be very happy to see you in your new endeavors than watching him all day at work suspecting him of extra-marital affairs.
What's the catch if you make yourself (wives) very "fruitful" or becomes very productive in the process?
You can stand ALONE by yourself without depending on him when he mess around and become stupid later. Ang status ninyo dapat sa oras na magloko siya ay "isang malaking stupidity ang ipagpalit ka sa iba". This is another route when he messes up with you but its still the RIGHT route after doing the RIGHT thing. It still redounds to the benefit of your family, without the stupid one.
The original route after making yourself "fruitful" actually leans towards the preservation of your marriage, and the family institution.
3. Ang TAMANG husband ay "mapag-pasensya" sa lahat ng bagay. Kayang mag-kontrol ng kanyang emosyon at mas nag-iisip ng consequences bago magalit. Ito ang isang napakahalagang skills na dapat madevelop sa bawat husband ng tahanan. Dahil ang lalaki daw ay created to be "logical", normal lang na iniisip nito lagi ang consequences of his actions. Dahil pag hindi, undeveloped pa ang kanyang logic kaya maraming kapalpakan itong magagawa sa sarili niya na ang tanging magsa-suffer ay ang asawa, mga anak, at buong pamilya.
We hope that this article helps you understand the true design of marriage according to its original author. Sticking ourselves to this original design helps every "malfunctioning marriage" get back into its "normal beneficial stage".
Just always remember that the "author's design to his own product" will not adjust to your upbringing, learned culture, even to your DNA, or your own beliefs about how "marriage" should run in your own lives.
Do you have questions about the RIGHT FAMILY SET-UP?
Just send us a message.
- Dr. ANGELO E. BASE, Ph.D.
Behavioral Therapist, BCIDP Psychological Wellness Center
Founder, Managing Director
BCIDP Exclusive School for Couples
BCIDP Marriage & Family Center Institute, Inc.
