Coach ELi Abela

02/12/2025

Boys have different biological needs than girls

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQqAcdijFgL/?igsh=NGd4eTUyY2NuMTBo

01/12/2025

Here are some common parenting mistakes to avoid: (Meta AI from post)

*Parenting Mistakes to Watch Out For*

- *Inconsistent Discipline*: Not setting clear boundaries or being inconsistent with rules can confuse children and make them test limits more often. Set specific rules and stick to them.

- *Not Setting Clear Boundaries*: Children need structure to feel safe and secure. Set age-appropriate boundaries and explain the rules to help them understand.

- *Overestimating or Underestimating Problems*: Understand if the issue is a problem or an age-appropriate behavior. Determine the size of the problem before trying to solve it.

- *Not Trying*: Not making an effort to address problems can lead to frustration and make issues worse.

- *Comparing Children*: Comparing children to others can hurt their confidence and self-worth. Focus on individual growth and celebrate their unique abilities.

- *Being Overly Critical*: Constant criticism can damage self-esteem. Encourage effort over outcome and praise hard work.

- *Not Listening*: Children need to feel heard. Practice active listening and give them your full attention.

- *Expecting Perfection*: Expecting perfection can create unrealistic pressures. Accept mistakes as learning opportunities and teach children it's okay to make mistakes.

- *Neglecting Self-Care*: Parents who neglect their own well-being can become stressed and emotionally drained. Prioritize self-care and delegate tasks when needed.

- *Not Adapting to Your Child's Needs*: Children have different needs at different stages. Be flexible and adjust your approach as they grow.

- *Micromanaging*: Not giving children independence can hinder their development. Set limits that help them develop self-control and self-direction.

- *Fighting in Front of Children*: Constant fighting can affect children's mental health. Manage conflicts in a healthy way.

- *Raising Children to Be Perfect*: Focus on raising capable, happy children rather than perfect ones. Encourage effort, individuality, and learning from mistakes ¹ ² ³.

Mentally strong kids are not born with resilience. They are shaped by parents who make conscious choices about what not to do. These parents understand that growth, confidence, and emotional strength are built through experience, not avoidance.

1. They don’t rescue their children from every struggle. They allow them to face challenges, even when it is hard to watch. Growth happens in the effort, not in avoiding difficulty.

2. They don’t fix every feeling or rush in with quick reassurances. Instead, they say: “I see this is hard. I’m here with you.” Empathy matters more than immediate solutions.

They don’t fear disappointing their children or avoid saying no. Short-term upset teaches long-term resilience. Boundaries, even when uncomfortable, protect growth.

They don’t over-praise, focusing on effort rather than outcome. Saying “I noticed how hard you worked” builds lasting confidence more than complimenting talent.

They don’t make everything easy. They let kids try, fail, and try again. Each failure is a lesson in persistence.

They don’t shame mistakes, viewing them as learning opportunities. They don’t rush emotional regulation, giving space for feelings to pass naturally.

They don’t micromanage, allowing age-appropriate independence. They don’t compare their children, respecting each child’s pace and personality.

They don’t ignore their own healing. Parents who work on their triggers model emotional growth. Mentally strong children need present parents, not perfect ones. Small choices, made consistently, raise resilient, capable kids ready for life.

29/11/2025

A line in my TEDx talk: Dame Daphne Sheldrick added coconut milk to the formula that mimicked
Mother’s milk, before that orphaned elephants had a low survival rate. Now these orphans turned into mothers and would bring back their babies to their human caregivers. Proof that restored nests using Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, a proper herd, food and water, uplifted spirits and all the chances to self actualize, can make one whole again



https://www.facebook.com/share/17aXzsB9YV/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Daphne Sheldrick dedicated her life to saving orphaned elephants, a mission she began with her late husband, David. After his sudden passing in 1997, Daphne vowed to continue their work, despite the overwhelming grief. She bottle-fed and comforted countless elephants, many of whom had witnessed the violent deaths of their mothers. Through her patience and love, Daphne gave these animals a second chance at life.

Years later, something extraordinary happened. The elephants she had raised began to return to the sanctuary, not out of curiosity, but out of gratitude. One day, Daphne found herself surrounded by these elephants, who gently wrapped their trunks around her in a heartfelt embrace. It was a moment of pure tenderness, a testament to the deep bond she had formed with them.

Daphne’s legacy grew as the elephants she saved went on to have their own calves, who also visited the sanctuary. Her dedication not only saved lives, but it created a lasting connection that spanned generations. The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, under Daphne’s leadership, has become one of the world’s leading wildlife conservation organizations, dedicated to the rescue and rehabilitation of elephants.
📌 Full story in the comments.

29/11/2025

Honored to have been a speaker at the Philippine Orthopaedic Association's 76th Medical Convention to share insights about biohacking the psyche of women and to see menopause as the true coming of age and not decline

28/11/2025

This Thanksgiving weekend, I'd love to go full circle and remember the oath I took as a citizen of a country to which I owe one of THE most unforgettable experiences ever:

The Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics, where I volunteered as an audience member - that just means I get to lead a section of 200 audience members into some sort of choreographed action that was part of the special effects of the event. It was the first time an indoor opening ceremony was ever attempted, and so the special effects needed to not just be extraordinary, but also, out-of-the-box. Involving the audience in the show was both really creative and unprecedented! And the reason they needed audience leaders. They were made to wear ponchos and were each handed flashlights, a lightbulb candle, and a carton drum and stick - 60, 000 of them!

I am only realizing the significance now of why I landed in Canada in 2004 and stayed until 2010 right after the Olympics in 2010. If you watch the Opening Ceremonies, you will see the reverence and respect it pays to the First Nations, the Indigenous Native American tribes who first inhabited the land. All the tribes are acknowledged and display ritual dances signifying unity and a warm, lighthearted welcome to all those visiting their country for this once in a lifetime event. Everywhere you go in Canada, you will see symbols and totems of the first nations - they are displayed with pride and reverence.

If there is anything I adore about British Columbia, it is its breathtaking natural beauty and the connection the people have to it, due to the First Nations' largely animistic beliefs. Wasn't the Philippines this way before we were colonized? We, too, would've been people of the land, forest, and sea, running alongside the animals and co-existing with them with mutual respect, much like how the people of Batanes live. We would have been living according to nature's laws, in rhythm with its pulse rather than against it.

I recently had a past life reading and the first one that appeared was that I was a part of a Native American tribe - I am not surprised. I love horses in this lifetime and consider them partners rather than pets or beasts of burden.

The part of the show that is most breathtaking is when a Polar Bear and Orcas appeared and swam through, after which, a gigantic tree was formed and Sarah MacLachlan started singing "Ordinary Miracle." Now that Orcas and bears and other animals are coming back into my hologram, I feel I've come full circle. Indeed, Orcas are part of my TEDx talk - and Canada is home to many pods.

It's a great big sign - that we need to go back to kincentric collaborative communities who co exist with nature and honor her fully much like the Native Americans did. We should engage in shared care for our children where mothers are fully supported in villages of care so she can be emotionally present for her infant and give it the best possible chances of a balanced and fulfilling life. Where every person in the community is deeply nested, receiving the proper level of nurture based on their biological needs. We must go back to our roots and return to our indigeneity.

Being a part of this particular Olympics was really astoundingly special. It was a milestone for Canada, being the host country AND the official winner of the games, having won the most number of gold medals - 14!! The people, normally timid and shy, went crazy out of their wits and poured out into the streets after Sidney Crosby won us the GOLD medal in Hockey with the now famous caption: OUR Game. OUR Gold. We could not contain our happiness! We ended the games with a BANG!

However, the real gift of the games is the idea that peace is a possibility and we can play and challenge each other in the spirit of friendly competition and lose graciously while still remaining friends. I felt this in the air during the games. Everyone was happy to be together- it didn't matter that we spoke different languages or looked different externally - we were unified by a torch that carried the spirit of HOPE and PEACE and this tells us - it's possible. We can co-exist and really enjoy each other's company We can open our hearts and put our differences aside and see each other with mutual respect.

When you see the athletes beaming with pride and the audience ebullient with delight at the spectacular show, you can't help but wish we could sustain this spirit of joy and inspiration every single day of our lives. Instead we are bombarded with stories of greed, war and corruption. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we had leaders with a strong heart-brain connection?

I will never doubt the capacity of the human heart to open up and change the world. I know it will happen, we're planting the seed in the here and now for to .

This thanksgiving - I would like to offer gratitude to my second country of citizenship, Canada, for this once in a lifetime experience...and for honoring the First Nations, who continue to show us that nature's laws are the highest laws of existence.

Full coverage of the opening ceremony of the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics featuring incredible sporting, artistic and musical performances to mark the begi...

25/11/2025

https://youtu.be/UrEsZbBI90s

This was made in 2021 (payat pa ako!) and in retrospect, I've learned so much more about the human potential and exactly how to actualize it to the fullest.

This journey has been nothing if not amazing. Evolving into one's wholeness has never been more possible than now, especially because we are aligning with the LAWS of ENERGY, the BIOLOGICAL Laws of Nature, and Nature's LAWS of NURTURE. Nothing can stop humans from RISING stronger than ever.

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

23/11/2025

HOPE is a high frequency energy vibration. When we restore safe territory and afford the highest level of nurture, we can repair the biggest ruptures. Let's give every being the chance to survive and thrive. I'm amazed they used a bit of biohacking too :)

But it was the group of mammalian humans who offered support and the frequency of LOVE, that allowed this horse to survive, because social connection is wired in our nervous systems, and it heals...lifts spirits....makes whole. The humans felt just as rejuvenated! They formed the herd it needed to live again.

This is what we do when we re-nest families. It's not just the child with issues that benefits, it's all members of the family as they heal their childhood wounds too.

There are amazing humans on the planet already! we need more heart-centered sentient beings roaming the Earth.

21/11/2025

In my TEDx talk, I mentioned the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust and how their founder, Dame Daphne Sheldrick used coconut milk to mimic mother elephants' milk to help orphaned infant calves survive. They have a 61% wild survival rate - an amazing outcome since without this milk, the infants had a very low chance of survival.

Here, we have an orphaned calf who is now a mother of 2! Proof that nature has endowed us with the potential to undo what happened to us in the past, and with the right care, the right resources and lots of loving kindness, the future can be rewritten into the one we never imagined could be possible. But it's never impossible with nature's laws, even if the laws of nurture were broken.

There is always HOPE. Trust in the laws of nature and know there is a living force in every one of us that wants us all to thrive!

We can remodel maladaptive behavior once we restore SAFE territory - we are all miracles of life itself.

21/11/2025

Yesterday, I was was one of the speakers in a medical convention for orthopaedic surgeons where I totally felt like a fish out of water :) I was certainly questioning why I was there and why I was invited, but at the same time, felt very honored to have shared the stage with esteemed speakers and be given the chance to talk about biohacking. The event was very successful - with tons of sponsors, glitz and glamor - needless to say, I was the only human potential coach there. I felt very grateful!

The invitation was about "biohacking menopause" and of course, I gleaned combined nuggets from biohacking, Germanische Heilkunde (thank you to my mentor Andi!) and Nestedness in Indigenous Communities and menopause in the Animal Kingdom, especially in Orcas and Belugas, Narwahls, and Short finned pilot whales and the RISE of the Wise Woman or Matriarch.

This idea is practically uninterrupted in the animal kingdom as they are aligned to the rhythms of nature. Though not going through a real menopause which means reproductive cessation and long lifespan post menopause, the Elephant herds rely on the wisdom and experience of a matriarch. She can still give birth at age 60 but the odds are quite rare, nevertheless, she doesn't go through reproductive cessation, but still rises into the leadership position that the herd relies on heavily for collective survival. The grief and loss experienced by the herd over the death of a matriarch is deeply felt by all but mammalian social structure allows for rapid succession and new leadership to replace her so the herd can stay intact and redirected to safety.

MENOPAUSE is a true coming of age, where we become "elders" - the Wise Woman, like in Elephant herds and Orca pods, who dedicate their whole lives educating and watching over their kin. In indigenous communities, there is no word for hot flashes nor for menopause nor perimenopause (thank you Andi). They simply stop the moon cycle and move forward.

The problem in today's modern world is that we have demonized menopause and have looked at it as a decline, rather an ascension. This programs the psyche not only to want to avoid it, but also to fear it. And many women do all they can to fight aging, using plastic surgery, cosmetics, diets, workouts with the idea of avoiding menopause, which is synonymous to "going downhill."

We need to understand the impact of our self-concept and our Identity/Ego vis-a-vis our territorial relationships in the nest, extended kin, and close communities, have on our biology and the presentation of physical symptoms, which are really just echoes of survival responses triggered internally. We evolved as bio-social creatures hundreds of millions of years ago, so it's a no-brainer to greatly consider how the quality of our relationships impact our overall health - something not found in the medical journals, but SHOULD be.

Let's shift our mindset and look forward to the "true coming of age," where we step into a position that requires honor, mutual respect, compassionate leadership and a deep sense of responsibility, where our intuition gleaned over decades of experience and rationality from more balanced hormones (lowered estrogen), ensure every member of the clan and the whole community, not just survive, but thrive together.

20/11/2025

We evolved 256 mya as bio-social beings,wouldn't it make sense that the quality of our relationships dictate our level of health?

20/11/2025

Need to know! More of this info from our mentor who came to Manila to teach this last year, teaching it online!! Stay tuned in 2026!