25/02/2026
"Confidence in birth isn't about feeling strong the whole time. It's about staying when it gets hard and having the supportive people to help you through those moments, as nothing lasts forever."
In birth (and in any difficult feat), there are moments of “feeling like giving up”, “hitting the pain barrier” or thinking “I can’t do this”. This is what Rhea Dempsey (midwife & birth educator) calls the “crisis of confidence”.
It’s the point or multiple points as there isn’t always just one moment where a woman says:
“I can’t do this.”
“This is too much.”
“I want to go home”
“I can’t keep going.”
“Get me the epidural.”
“Just get this baby out.”
It’s NOT because she is failing.
It’s NOT because her body isn’t capable.
It’s NOT a sign of escape.
BUT it’s a sign birth is unfolding.
- It’s shifting gear… moving her through physiological and psychological peaks
- It’s when labour is intense, powerful and hormones are surging.
- Her mind is processing so much information at once and sometimes throws her off balance.
Which to the untrained eye looks like self-doubt, not coping, giving up.
1. Firstly, these “crises of confidence” are normal.
Physiological birth takes physiological pain and with the right encouragement and support, women can work with that pain.
1. Secondly, that functional pain has a role in normal birth to stimulate endorphins as part of the hormonal cascade.
And endorphins provide amazing pain relief, sedative effects and euphoria.
So often after these crisis of confidence moments, women are often seen in in an altered state, commonly called “Labour Land”
So how do you move through it?
➡️ Expect it. When you know it’s normal, it loses its power.
➡️ Stay in your breath. Slow exhale. Relax your jaw. Soften your shoulders.
➡️ Lean in — to your partner, your midwife, your anchor words.
➡️ Take it one contraction at a time. Not the whole birth. Just this wave.
➡️ Change position. Water. Touch. Sound. Movement. Massage.
Confidence in birth isn’t about feeling strong the whole time.
It’s about staying when it gets hard and having the supportive people to help you through those moments, as nothing lasts forever.
And sometimes, on the other side of “I can’t do this” is “But you just did.”.
