Atia.F The Comfort World

16/07/2025

**No contact is not an easy decision.**
It usually comes about because of a lack of any other options. People don’t wake up one day and casually decide to cut off someone they once deeply cared for. No one wants to go no contact — it is never the first choice. It’s a last resort. It comes after countless attempts to communicate, to set boundaries, to fix things, to hold on to hope that the other person will change, grow, or at least try to meet you halfway.

**No contact is not a punishment. It’s protection.**
It’s the result of years of being manipulated, disrespected, gaslighted, and emotionally depleted. It’s reaching a point where your mental, emotional, and sometimes even physical health is at risk. You've spent so long walking on eggshells, second-guessing yourself, questioning your worth, and trying to make sense of behavior that simply doesn’t make sense. Every chance you gave was another opportunity they used — not to repair the relationship — but to continue the cycle of harm.

So when no contact happens, it’s not impulsive. It’s painful. It’s a grieving process of letting go of the person you hoped they would become. It’s choosing peace over chaos. Sanity over confusion. Healing over hoping. It’s the brave, necessary step to finally say: *I matter too.*

And if someone tries to guilt you for it — remind yourself: *you tried*. Again and again. And now, you’re choosing yourself — not because you want to hurt them, but because you’ve finally realized you deserve better.

12/06/2025

When Ibrahim turned away, he didn't explain. He didn't cry, didn't hold her, didn't look back. Just walked. Away. From his wife. His infant son.

Everything he had ever prayed for. Left them standing under a burning sky, in a valley where there was no water, no shade, no life.

Hajar didn't beg.

She didn't collapse.

She only asked,

"Did Allah tell you to do this?"

And when he said yes

she let go.

That's it. That was her answer. That was her faith. Her sabr. Not a speech, not a bargain. Just trust so wild it looked like madness.

Can you imagine the sound of Ibrahim's footsteps fading? The scream she swallowed? The baby fussing against her chest, hungry already, skin blistering under the sun?

She wasn't a prophet. She was a mother. She was alone. And yet, she climbed.

From Safa to Marwa.

Then back.

Seven times.

Not because she knew help was coming. But because she couldn't give up. Because love doesn't sit down and wait to die. Because she still hoped while her feet bled and her child cried.

And Allah saw her.

From that despair came the spring of Zamzam.

From that sacrifice came Ismail.

From that valley came the Kaaba.

From that woman came every Hajj.

You think your du'as aren't being heard?

She had no words left. Just footsteps. Just desperation. And Allah answered her with eternity.

But before the water came, there was the silence. There was heat.

Hunger. Panic.

There was a mother running between two lifeless hills, lungs burning, throat dry, heart shattering with every scream from her child.

There was a father walking away with the weight of surrender crushing his spine, never once looking back, because if he did, he might have fallen to his knees.

There was a baby in the sand, too young to even speak his own pain.

And no one came.

Not at first.

Just the sky.

Just the silence.

Just Allah watching.

You want to talk about sacrifice?

This is what it looks like

Leaving what you love the most.

Not knowing if you'll ever see them again.

Trusting that the God who asks for your heartbreak will be the same God who heals it.

They didn't just pass a test.

They bled for it.

And we walk in the shadows of that blood.

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09/05/2025

The following points were highlighted in Aaj Pakistan with Sidra Iqbal where I was honored to be the guest speaker.to talk about
Psychological Manipulative effects of fake news
* Exploitation of Cognitive Biases: Fake news often preys on our existing beliefs and biases. We're more likely to believe and share information that confirms what we already think, even if it's not true. This is called confirmation bias.
* Emotional Amplification: False content frequently uses emotionally charged language and imagery to evoke strong reactions like fear, anger, or sadness. These emotions can bypass rational thought and make us more susceptible to believing and sharing the information without critical evaluation.
* Sense of Urgency and Scarcity: Some fake news creates a false sense of urgency to pressure people into believing and sharing it quickly, without taking time to verify.
* Social Proof and Bandwagon Effect: When we see many people sharing or believing something, we're more likely to think it's true, even if it's not. This "wisdom of the crowd" effect can be easily manipulated on social media through bots and coordinated campaigns.
* Authority and Credibility Mimicry: Fake news often tries to look like legitimate news sources by using similar branding, website designs, or even fabricating endorsements from fake experts or authorities. This makes it harder for people to distinguish between real and false information.
* Repetition and Familiarity: Even if we initially doubt something, repeated exposure can make it feel more familiar and therefore more believable. This is sometimes referred to as the "illusory truth effect."
* Creation of Echo Chambers and Filter Bubbles: Social media algorithms can inadvertently create echo chambers where users are primarily exposed to information that aligns with their existing views. This can make them less likely to encounter and consider alternative perspectives, making them more vulnerable to misinformation within their bubble.
* Erosion of Trust: The constant barrage of fake news can erode trust in legitimate news sources, institutions, and even each other. This can have significant societal consequences, making it harder to have informed public discourse.
* Targeted Manipulation: Sophisticated actors can use data about individuals' online behavior to target them with personalized fake news designed to exploit their specific vulnerabilities and beliefs.
* Psychological Distress: Exposure to emotionally charged or fear-inducing fake news can contribute to anxiety, stress, and even radicalization in some individuals.

29/04/2025

One day, a snake slithered into a cozy rabbit burrow. The rabbits pressed themselves fearfully against the walls — never before had such a guest entered their home. But the snake spoke in a soft, gentle voice:

"Don't be afraid of me... I'm terribly lonely. I have no friends, and I long for warmth. I carry ancient wisdom I wish to share with you."

The rabbits exchanged wary glances but decided to give her a chance. They listened to her stories and legends, enchanted by her quiet, mesmerizing whisper. She spoke like a philosopher...
Until she bit one of them — and disappeared.

The next evening, she returned.

"Please don’t turn me away," she pleaded. "You know I’m a snake. It’s hard for me not to bite. But I'm trying. Friends should accept each other’s flaws, shouldn’t they?"

The rabbits hesitated, but once again allowed her in.
Once again — gentle conversations, tales, soft words...
And once again — a sudden, sharp bite.

On the third day, the burrow was sealed with a stone.
The snake coiled around it, hissing, begging, whispering promises to change, pleading for just one more chance. But no one came out.

"There’s no place in this world for those who think deeper!" she hissed bitterly and slithered away into the darkness.

Sometimes poisonous creatures wrap themselves in eloquence, calling themselves wise and misunderstood — just to strike again when trust is given.
Never forget: if someone hurts you again and again — even behind a mask of sincerity, even with beautiful words and profound quotes — don’t open your heart to them anymore.
Being kind doesn’t mean tolerating endless pain.

25/04/2025

07/04/2025

I was honored to be a part of Aaj Pakistan with Sidra Iqbal to have a discussion on "The Post- Eid Reflection".
Reigniting Motivation After a Vacation and Expectation Conflict Resolution:

Coming back from a vacation can feel like dragging your feet through sand—especially after a festive, emotionally rich occasion like Eid. For many, Eid is not just a holiday; it’s a deeply personal and spiritual reset, a time to gather, reflect, and enjoy the warmth of family and community. But as the celebrations wind down and life demands our focus again, the motivation to get back to routine often seems elusive.

After days filled with delicious meals, socializing, and late mornings, it's natural to feel sluggish. The key is to ease back in gently. Start with small, purposeful steps: make a to-do list, prioritize what truly matters, and give yourself grace for not jumping in full force on day one. Motivation doesn’t strike like lightning—it builds, quietly and steadily, especially when you're kind to yourself.

But Eid itself isn’t always purely joyful for everyone. While the celebration brings smiles, new clothes, and heartfelt prayers, it also carries a set of unspoken expectations—about how we should act, what we should give, how we should appear. These expectations can cause tension, especially within families or among friends.

It’s important to acknowledge that these emotional undercurrents are part of the Eid experience too. Embracing the joy while navigating the discomfort is a mature, compassionate approach that leaves room for growth and understanding.

So as we return to our daily routines, let’s carry forward the best parts of our break—gratitude, connection, and reflection—while rebuilding our motivation one step at a time. And let’s allow Eid to be what it truly is: a celebration that is both beautiful and complex, just like life itself.

22/03/2025

We Are All Wounded

We all are wounded,
somewhere deep inside where no light reaches.
We walk through life with invisible scars,
hearts stitched together by trembling hands,
hoping no one looks too closely.
The world teaches us to hide it,
to smile when it hurts,
to cover our cracks and pretend we are whole.

But we all are broken,
each of us carrying stories
we're too afraid to tell.
The mother who cries in secret after her children sleep.
The man who laughs the loudest but feels the emptiest inside.
The friend who always says, "I'm fine,"
because she knows no one truly asks twice.

We bleed differently.
Some wounds are fresh, still raw to the touch.
Others have scabbed over,
but the pain lingers when we press too hard.
And some are buried so deep,
we’ve convinced ourselves they don’t exist—
until something tears them open again.

Maybe it was betrayal that broke you.
Maybe it was the love you gave
that was never returned.
Maybe it was the dream you chased
that left you empty-handed.
Or the loved one you lost too soon.
Maybe it was the words you heard growing up,
or the silence that followed
when you needed words the most.

But your wounds don’t make you weak.
They make you human.
They are the evidence of a life lived,
of battles fought,
of a heart brave enough to feel.

And while we’re all wounded,
we’re also all healers.
We carry salve in our words,
in the way we listen without judgment,
in the way we show up for each other.
We patch each other up,
sometimes without even knowing.
A kind word, a gentle touch, a reminder that,
"You’re not alone"—
that’s how we start to mend.

So don’t hide your wounds.
Don’t pretend they don’t exist.
Let them breathe.
Let them teach you empathy,
let them remind you that everyone you meet
is fighting a battle you can’t see.

We are all wounded,
but we are also resilient.
We may limp, but we keep moving.
We may break, but we learn to rebuild.
And in the end, our scars tell a story:
not just of pain,
but of survival.
Not just of what we’ve lost,
but of what we’ve found.

So, if you feel broken today,
know this darling....
you’re not alone.
You’re part of a world full of cracked souls
still shining light through their brokenness.
And that’s what makes us beautiful.

09/02/2025

There’s no way around it: your mind can be your greatest ally or your toughest adversary. The weight of negative thinking could derail progress at any given moment, so it isn’t about changing who you are; it’s about reclaiming control over the war that’s been waging inside you. And trust me, it’s one worth fighting.

1. Thoughts Are Not Facts
I’ve often thought that my inner critic was a part of me that I couldn’t escape—one that defined who I was, what I was capable of, and even my worth.
The truth? Thoughts are not facts. You don’t have to believe everything that crosses your mind. Learning to distance yourself from negative or inaccurate thoughts is one of the most freeing lessons this book has to offer. Instead of thinking, "I’m a failure," it’s about recognizing the thought and saying, "This isn’t the truth."

2. The Power of What We Focus On
The more I read, the more I realized how much of my life was determined by what I chose to focus on. What we focus on grows. For a long time, I focused on what was missing, what wasn’t working, and what I feared. Experience taught me that shifting my focus to what is working, what I’m grateful for, and what’s going well doesn’t just feel good—it shifts my mindset and opens up possibilities I didn’t see before.

3. Change Doesn’t Happen Overnight
I used to believe that change was a sudden moment of revelation, but the reality is that transformation is a process. It’s like training a muscle: you have to exercise it daily. Changing the way you think takes time, and it’s built on repetition. Instead of trying to make a huge shift overnight,small, intentional changes over time create real, lasting transformation.

4. Control Your Input, Control Your Output
What I consume—whether it’s the books I read, the shows I watch, or the conversations I engage in—greatly influences me. Be mindful of what they allow into their minds. Our thoughts are shaped by the input we choose. If we want to be more positive, productive, or peaceful, we have to be deliberate about what we feed our minds. It’s a simple but powerful shift: control your input, control your output.

5. Truth is the Weapon You Need
Your mind is a battleground, and truth is the weapon you need to fight. When I face moments of doubt, fear, or anxiety, I’ve learned to arm myself with the truth—whether that’s the truth about who I am, my abilities, or the bigger picture of what I’m working toward. Truth is the antidote to the lies that sabotage us. And it’s a weapon we all have access to.

6. You Are What You Think
Our minds shape our lives. If you think you’re stuck or doomed to fail, then that’s the trajectory your life will follow. But, when you take command of your thoughts—replacing negativity with truth and self-doubt with confidence—you begin to change your reality. This lesson was a revelation for me: the way I think directly impacts the way I live, and by changing my thoughts, I can change the course of my life.

7. The Fight Never Ends, But You Can Win
It’s not about eliminating every negative thought or achieving perfection; it’s about progress. Each day you take control of your thoughts, you win the battle. While the struggle might never go away entirely, I have the power to show up every day and fight with more strength, clarity, and purpose.

15/01/2025

I was honoured to be a part of Aaj Pakistan as a guest speaker to talk about "Emotional Abuse".
Some key take away notes are as follows

1. Love bombing

Love bombing, or rushing into a relationship too quickly, often with grand gestures and signs of emotional manipulation can be a big red flag.

2. Lack of appreciation

Feeling unappreciated and even unloved cannot only be hurtful but “it’s also part of making you feel like you need them and it makes your self-esteem go down,” and over time it makes you doubt your own competence and your ability to get into better relationships.”

3. Boundary crossing

Boundary crossing tends to be a slippery slope—if they cross a boundary more than once, they’re likely to keep crossing more boundaries over time.

4. Lack of communication

If someone shows an unwillingness to communicate or signs of emotional unavailability “it is essentially like shutting the other person down whenever they try to raise a concern,” “It also makes the person feel completely neglected, invalidated, and almost questioning their own reality.”

5. Unwillingness to compromise

Even if a person is willing to communicate about issues in the relationship, “being unwilling to compromise, stubborn, or selfish over time may lead the other partner to feel that they are compromising too much of themselves to be satisfied with the relationship,”

3. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation and blame-shifting that often comes down to the fact that the person is “not validating your experiences and reality,” and “You can agree to disagree,” but for a partner to negate your thoughts, feelings, and perspectives is extremely unhealthy and can lead to feelings of insecurity and even questioning your own sanity.

7. Inconsistency

If you feel as though you’re always on your toes and you’re unable to predict what’s going on, your partner is likely being inconsistent with you in ways of their words and actions.This makes you cling to the person even more and develop like a sort of like an addiction to that person to try to please them.

8. Put-downs

If someone feels that they always need to be right, and they always put you in the wrong then they’re wanting to see you in a poor light that’s very bad.

9. Controlling behavior

Lots of times, red flags are difficult to spot because they’re not always very obvious from the start.However, these red flags usually begin in the form of gradual “coercive control,” which can include limiting where you go without the person, always asking where you are when you’re not together, dictating how you dress, asking for your passwords for social media.

10. Alienation

This is a specific and dangerous form of control which means a person is likely trying to keep you to themselves for ulterior motives— a huge warning sign of potential issues down the road.

11. Excessive lying

Catching your partner in lies—whether they’re small or big—can be difficult to deal with and make it hard to build a solid, trustworthy foundation necessary for all healthy relationships.

12. Jealousy

Jealousy can present in two forms: a feeling of a lack in the relationship, or insecurity. If someone is needing more of you, they might be jealous of your job or the time you spend with friends, which can be worked through, but if the jealousy is coming from a feeling of insecurity within themselves (not feeling worthy to keep somebody), this can lead to controlling behavior.

13. Lack of trust

Some people were simply brought up in a way that made them behave in a way where they must “verify” the truths being presented to them, or they’ve been treated as if it’s the norm to not trust people.

14. Hot and cold behavior

Often when a partner is “hot and cold,” it means they’ve made it a habit to act poorly or hurt your feelings and follow up with lots of apologizing.

13/01/2025

13/01/2025