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Messy Healing with Mehak, Lahore (2026)

27/04/2024

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25/01/2024

Having someone who believes in you, who believes in your abilities, who can see help you spot a sliver of light in pitch black darkness, who can walk besides you on a rocky road, can be an absolute game-changer. In this individualistic world, we sometimes forget to look around us. We think we can do everything on our own without any help or support from others. That is why when the going gets tough, we lose all hope, and feel defeated, lost. But we need each other, we need that support system, we need people we can fall back on.
May you find that someone who can hold you when you feel like breaking down in million pieces.
May you have the support system which can lift you up and guide you out of the dark tunnel. 💞

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03/12/2023

Listen to your anger. Observe it, examine it, hear what it has to say.

12/09/2023

I have been extremely sick and in bed since one week. It feels like this is how I've lived my whole life. And it was long time coming.
I have a habit to take on more stuff than I can fully do justice to it. Some part of me is always trying to compensate for something. But in the process, I neglect my body. I've never really had a healthy relationship with my body but now it fights back by shutting down. I've started to get sick more frequently. It feels like my body is on a strike. No amount of medication, or remedies work. It aches in places I didn't even know existed. The body refuses to let me get anything done, that's it's way of protesting. My body tells me, 'you didn't listen when I asked to slow down, now I'll take my time'. And that's how it is. The body takes its time to get better and gives me time to 'rest'.
In our insanely busy lives, we hardly ever stop to mindfully rest, to just be. It's always one chore or another, one task to finish after another. And even in our rest, we scroll through Instagram or binge watch Netflix. Our nervous system is always running in overdrive. Our body and mind need to time off. Rest is not you being lazy, it can also do wonders for your productivity. It can unstuck you in many areas of your life. Although it's not easy and believe me, it's very difficult for me, let try and find ways to add rlmore rest into our routines before our bodies give up on us. Let's vow to listen to it when it's asking nicely.

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04/09/2023

Grief, of any type, form or shape, takes its sweet time for us to process it. In my opinion, we can never really fully process it. Whether it's the loss of a loved on or you're grieving the loss of your sense of self, grief settles in our body, in our psyche and becomes a part of us. Sometimes time really can heal it but often times, we learn to live with it. We create space for it in our lives. The only thing that can lessen the blow is support and care from others. When we come together to hold each other's grief, it does not feel like a burden.
May you find it easy to carry your grief. 🍃
May you find a support system on this lifelong journey. 🍃
May you find solace in this process. 🍃

02/09/2023

Real healing happens when you're able to hold the darkness with the light, when you're ready to face it and embrace it.

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01/09/2023

I learned, rather late in life, what an important tile a community plays in our lives. Our culture and society tells us to hide, to keep things to ourselves, to suffer in secret, to not share our happiness. It scares us from forming bonds and attachments. But when we find a community and people who make us feel safe, magical things happen. Obviously, we cannot trust everyone and not everyone deserves to know us deeply. But we must be open to let people in and create safe spaces for ourselves. We must be willing look for 'our' people.
May we all find such communities.
May we all let love in. 💓🍃

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31/08/2023

Part 4: The question of the century is that can we heal from shame? If yes, how to get freedom from it? The simple answer is that healing is possible if we're willing to sit through the discomfort of it all. Healing is a lifelong process which requires commitment with one's self.

Acknowledge and accept:
The first step is to acknowledge the presence and effect shame has in your life, your body, and mind. We must acknowledge how it has dominated out relationships. After the acknowledgement comes the acceptance of how it might have effected you. Avoidance of shame will have to end.

Revisit the past:
Healing from shame requires us to go back as far as we can remember. Revisit the past, try to remember our story. When did it all began? When and how did shame become a part of our story? How has it impacted our current life?

Self-awareness:
Self-awareness is essential to heal from shame. Recognize the patterns, look within to see where shame lives in your body and mind. Notice the voice of shame in your head, and notice how it talks to you. What does it say and what does it really want? Recognize how shame shows up in your relationships.

Tell your story:
Shame thrives in secrecy and feeds on it. It can causes us to isolate, hide, and avoid. But when we tell our story, when we unveil out shame, it loses its power over us. We must uncover and put spotlight on our shame to heal from it.

Seek support:
There is a famous quote: shame dies when stories are told in safe places. Although it's not easy to trust and feel safety when shame has been telling you the opposite, we must seek help. We must find safe places to share our hurt and pain. It can be a therapist, a friend, a sibling or anyone that you can put your trust in. Love, care and empathy can help us heal from shame and make us free.

DM to book a session now.

28/08/2023

Part 3: Where does shame come from? How are the ways we feel shame? We exist in this world I'm relation to others. The first ever relationship we have is with our parents, out primary caregivers. Just like love, affection, care makes us thrive, feel safe and protected, when conditions of worth are put on our existence, we feel shame. When we are made to feel inadequate, when we are told through words, actions or nonverbal cues that we are not good enough, shame emerges. When we are made to earn live, affection and care of our primary caregivers, and are unable to achieve it for whatever reason, shame settles within us. Mostly it starts to manifest in our childhood. For example, a child who gets good grades is praised and acknowledged. A well-behaved child is liked by everyone. We internalize these voices and actions which become our inner voice.
As we grow older, we start to put these conditions on ourselves. Our inner dialogue which had formed it's basis on these conditions, that you're only worthy if you fulfill others' needs and expectations, dictates our lives. These voice could look like this: I'll only look good if I lose weight. I'll only be appreciated if I get good grades. I'm only successful if I have a certain kind of job. I'm only worthy if others are happy with me. If we're unable to fulfill these demands, we feel ashamed, or rather we shame ourselves. But can we get rid of these conditions of worth? Can we heal from the shame?

To be continued...

25/08/2023

Part 2: How does shame manifests in our body, mind and soul?
We all must have heard, "the body keeps the score". But how? Like every traumatic event, body also keeps the score of our emotions. Shame literally has physical effects on us. When this emotion occurs, our brain sends the signals to the rest of the body, which leads to the fight, flight or freeze responses. Studies show that shame can literally cause cardiovascular diseases. It effects the part of the brain which is associated with moral reasoning, leading to judgments about the self. Shame can also alter our body postures. Downcast eyes, lowered head, body psotires which signify that we're retreating within ourselves, somehow making ourselves small. Shame can block your voice, you choke on your words, sentences stumble out of your mouth, words cling to your throat not wanting to get out. You would be trying to speak and shame would take away your words in the middle of the sentence.
Shame can alter our thought process, our self-belief. Your thoughts become the cruelest and most brutal enemy, always attacking you, blaming you, criticising you. Shame forms an entire identity in your head, a voice forms which can be all-consuming. It is overly critical, harsh, loud, scary, over analyzing every single thing you do. It doesn't allow to make mistakes, doesn't allow you to have flaws. You become a perfectionist but unable to finish your tasks. You start to self-loath and have low self-esteem.
Shame is an overpowering emotion which dominates our body, mind and soul. But where does it come from?
To be continued...

23/08/2023

Part 1: I have a very close relationship with shame. I like to say that I feel it in my bones, because it is that deeply ingrained in me. It manifested in every aspect, t of my life, my mind, my body, my soul. It formed it's entire existence within me, dominated me, conquered me, made me it's living, breathing puppet. For the longest time, shame was the loudest and scariest voice in my head. It was not just an emotion I felt, it was my way of life.
But what exactly is shame? In literal words, it is a "highly unpleasant self-conscious emotion arising from the sense of there being something dishonorable, immodest, or indecorous in one's own conduct or circumstances". Many times, it overlaps with the feeling of guilt. But guilt says that you've done something wrong, meanings it fixable. Shame is the feeling of BEING wrong. It says you're inadequate, unworthy, unwanted. It brings a range of emotions with it: rage, fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, anger, envy, humiliation. Shame can really alter your psyche, your self-belief and your body. But how does it manifest in our body, mind and soul?
To be continued...

Messy Healing with Mehak

27/04/2024

25/01/2024

03/12/2023

12/09/2023

04/09/2023

02/09/2023

01/09/2023

31/08/2023

28/08/2023

25/08/2023

23/08/2023

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