Healing Springs - Sajia Jabeen

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Healing Springs - Sajia Jabeen Consultant Clinical Psychologist | Pediatric & Child Psychologist | Psychotherapist | Counselor | CPCAB UK–Certified Humanistic Integrative Counsellor

Leadership distortion rarely comes from the room. It comes from the mirror.A group of people joined a psychology experim...
04/02/2026

Leadership distortion rarely comes from the room. It comes from the mirror.

A group of people joined a psychology experiment.

Before a group discussion, a large and very realistic facial scar was painted onto some participants’ faces using professional makeup. They were shown the scar in a mirror. Just before entering the room, the researchers quietly removed the makeup. The participants did not know.

After the discussion, many said the same thing:
They felt judged.
They felt the room was uncomfortable.
They felt people focused on their scar.

There was no scar.

Nothing in the room changed. Only their belief about themselves did.

I was reminded of this after meeting a very successful young entrepreneur. He spoke about how differently people behave around him today. More attention. More agreement. More people looking up to him.

Then he added something more interesting: He noticed that his own self reflection had changed as well.

Not because he became someone else - but because the room started treating him differently.

This is where egocentric bias quietly enters leadership.

We do not just respond to the world. We respond to who we believe we are in it.

The brain does this all the time. For example, your nose is always in your field of vision. The brain removes it because it is not useful. It filters reality to focus on what it believes matters most.

Status and success change that filter.

Sometimes it is not the room that changed.
Sometimes it is not the people.
Sometimes the distortion sits entirely with us.

🧠 ADHD and Learning: What We Often MissWhen we talk about ADHD, the focus is usually on hyperactivity or poor attention....
04/02/2026

🧠 ADHD and Learning: What We Often Miss
When we talk about ADHD, the focus is usually on hyperactivity or poor attention.
But the real impact often shows up in the learning journey.
Children with ADHD are not less intelligent. In fact, many are highly curious and capable. The challenge lies in how their brain manages attention, memory, and organization — the core systems required for learning.
In classrooms, this can look like: • A child who understands concepts but struggles to finish work
• A student who studies but forgets instructions
• Bright ideas that don’t translate well onto paper
• Effort that doesn’t match academic results
Over time, repeated academic struggles can affect more than grades. It can influence confidence, motivation, and a child’s belief in their own abilities.
That’s why early understanding matters.
When adults shift from
❌ “Why isn’t this child trying?”
to
✅ “What support does this child need to learn?”
Everything changes.
Structure, patience, clear instructions, movement breaks, and emotional support can make a life-changing difference.
✨ The goal is not just academic success —
It’s helping a child feel capable, understood, and supported.

Learning is a continuous journey. I recently had the opportunity to attend a webinar focused on the comprehensive unders...
30/01/2026

Learning is a continuous journey. I recently had the opportunity to attend a webinar focused on the comprehensive understanding and management of limerence in youth and its connection with trauma resilience and psychosocial stressors

As a psychotherapist, I want to gently remind you of something deeply important: many of the behaviors we judge ourselve...
22/01/2026

As a psychotherapist, I want to gently remind you of something deeply important: many of the behaviors we judge ourselves for are not personal flaws. They are learned responses—adaptations your nervous system developed to keep you safe, connected, or emotionally intact at some point in your life.
What once protected you may no longer be serving you, and that’s not a failure. It’s an invitation for compassion, understanding, and choice.
Here are nine common learned responses
1.People-Pleasing
What it often comes from: Learning that love, safety, or approval depended on keeping others happy.
Gentle support: Practice noticing your own needs without immediately acting on others’ expectations. Start small—pause before saying “yes.”
2. Avoiding Conflict
What it often comes from: Environments where conflict felt unsafe, unpredictable, or emotionally overwhelming.
Gentle support: Remind yourself that healthy conflict can be a bridge, not a threat. Ground your body before difficult conversations.
3. Over-Explaining
What it often comes from: Feeling misunderstood, dismissed, or emotionally unsafe in the past.
Gentle support: Experiment with giving less justification. You are allowed to be clear without convincing.
4. Emotional Numbing or Detachment
What it often comes from: Having emotions that were ignored, punished, or too painful to feel fully.
Gentle support: Reconnect slowly—notice sensations, music, nature, or moments of warmth without forcing emotional depth.
5. Hyper-Independence
What it often comes from: Learning that relying on others led to disappointment or harm.
Gentle support: Allow safe interdependence. Letting someone help does not erase your strength—it expands it.
6. Perfectionism
What it often comes from: Believing worth, love, or safety had to be earned through performance.
Gentle support: Practice “good enough.” Notice how your body feels when you release unrealistic standards, even briefly.
7. Difficulty Trusting Others
What it often comes from: Betrayal, inconsistency, or emotional unpredictability.
Gentle support: Trust doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Build it gradually, with boundaries and self-trust leading the way.
8. Minimizing Your Own Pain
What it often comes from: Being told others had it worse, or that your feelings were “too much.”
Gentle support: Your pain does not need comparison to be valid. Practice naming it without judgment.
9. Constant Self-Criticism
What it often comes from: Internalizing external criticism as a way to stay ahead of rejection.
Gentle support: Replace the inner critic with curiosity. Ask, “What is this part of me trying to protect?”
These behaviors are not signs of weakness—they are evidence of resilience. They tell the story of how intelligently your mind and body adapted to survive.

Learning is a continuous journey. I had the opportunity to participate in a webinar addressing psychosocial stressors an...
20/01/2026

Learning is a continuous journey. I had the opportunity to participate in a webinar addressing psychosocial stressors and traumatic exposure in Pakistani youth with an emphasis on post-traumatic growth and resilience.

In therapy, one of the most important shifts is moving from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What happened to me — and how di...
18/01/2026

In therapy, one of the most important shifts is moving from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What happened to me — and how did it shape my nervous system, beliefs, and patterns?”

So many of the strategies people use to cope hypervigilance, emotional numbing, perfectionism, people pleasing, avoidance are not flaws. They are adaptations to past experiences that once helped keep them safe.

A trauma-informed approach doesn’t ask “why are you like this?”
It asks, “what did your system learn it had to do to survive?”

Healing is not about fixing what’s “broken.” It’s about helping the nervous system learn that safety, choice and connection are possible again. ✨🌼

Your words can hurt or uplift your team.But some words might not be heard at all.There are these things called cognitive...
08/01/2026

Your words can hurt or uplift your team.

But some words might not be heard at all.

There are these things called cognitive disappearing words.

They're words (or phrases) said so often that our brains automatically tune them out.

For founders, these phrases are often tied to praise, criticism, and the daily work routine.

So if your team hears you saying something enough times...
It's going to lose its impact.

Now, I'm guilty of this too.

I used to say, "love it, love it, love it" whenever someone did incredible work, and my team caught on.

So much so that they created an award around it.
But I realized that I'd said it so many times that it didn't have any more emotional value.

That's why it's so important to know which phrases you use most and when.

Here's what you should look out for:

1. "Love it."
↳ If it's said about every idea, the praise stops feeling genuine.

2. "Great job."
↳ It's the default reaction after any delivery, so it's easily ignored.

3. "Amazing."
↳ It's used constantly in responses, so it reads as a reflex.

4. "Nice work."
↳ It's said to quickly close a loop when you're busy, not pointing to anything specific.

5. "Thanks"
↳ If it's the response to everything, gratitude starts feeling transactional.

6. "Can you take a look?"
↳ If this is asked on every request, the team are unsure if you need a skim, edit, or approval.

7. "Thoughts?"
↳ If this is the end to every message, people tune out (and don't respond...)

8. "Just checking in..."
↳ This is the default follow-up message and becomes ignorable noise.

9. "Quick question."
↳ When you start messages with this often, it feels more like interruption than importance.

10. "ASAP."
↳ You label too many things as urgent, so it loses its meaning.

11. "Not quite there yet."
↳ It's used as a catch-all critique, so the team hears disappointment, but not direction.

12. "Let's align."
↳ If it's said every time there's friction, it becomes filler instead of a genuine reset.

Sometimes, you've got to change things up so praise and feedback actually do sink in for your team.

This is something I'm working on this year.
I know it's going to be hard at first, but I want my team to know how much I really appreciate them.

If you're a founder, ask your team what you say most, it'll help you switch things up too.

Which phrase are you going to try using less this year?

♻️ Repost to share this post with folks who'd appreciate it!

Your Brain Is Not Broken—It’s Protecting YouTrauma doesn’t just live in memories; it reshapes how the brain works to kee...
08/01/2026

Your Brain Is Not Broken—It’s Protecting You

Trauma doesn’t just live in memories; it reshapes how the brain works to keep you safe. That can mean intense emotions, foggy thinking, exhaustion, or feeling “on edge” even when life seems calm from the outside. None of this is a personal failure. It is your brain doing its best with what it has lived through.

Here’s how trauma can quietly affect your brain:
↳ Hippocampus & Memory: Memories may feel fragmented, intrusive, or hard to trust, making it difficult to make sense of your story.
↳ Amygdala & Fear Response: The “alarm system” can become overactive, increasing anxiety, startle responses, and sensitivity to potential threats.
↳ Prefrontal Cortex & Executive Functioning: Decision-making, planning, focus, and emotional regulation can feel harder, especially under stress.
↳ Connectivity & Brain Plasticity: Certain networks may become wired around threat and self-criticism, but the brain can also rewire towards safety and self-compassion with time and support.
↳ Neurotransmitters & Sensory Processing: Changes in brain chemicals and heightened sensitivity to sounds, lights, or touch can contribute to mood swings, overwhelm, or shutdown.

If you see yourself in any of this, you are not “too much” or “broken.” Your reactions make sense in the context of what you’ve been through, even if others don’t see the full picture.

The hopeful part is that the same brain shaped by trauma can also be reshaped by safety, consistency, and healing practices. Gentle trauma-informed work—grounding, body awareness, boundaries, and supportive relationships—can help your nervous system learn that it no longer has to live in constant survival mode.

As a psychology student, I am learning how early emotional experiences can shape adult behavior, relationships, and emot...
01/01/2026

As a psychology student, I am learning how early emotional experiences can shape adult behavior, relationships, and emotional regulation.

"Inner child wounds" refer to unresolved emotional pain or unmet needs from childhood that continue to influence an individual’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in adulthood.

Common inner child wounds may include:
• Abandonment
• Rejection
• Emotional neglect
• Invalidation of feelings
• Criticism or shame

These wounds may later appear as low self-esteem, fear of rejection, difficulty trusting others, emotional sensitivity, or people-pleasing behaviors.

In psychology, inner child wounds are often understood through attachment theory, developmental psychology, and trauma-related frameworks.

Learning about this concept has strengthened my understanding of emotional development and the long-term impact of early relationships.

With awareness, supportive environments, and professional psychological care, emotional growth and healing are possible.

Not everything you're carrying is yours to hold.You’re not weak for letting go.You’re wise enough to stop breaking your ...
01/01/2026

Not everything you're carrying is yours to hold.

You’re not weak for letting go.
You’re wise enough to stop breaking your back for things that no longer serve you.

Here are 6 things you're allowed to set down today:

Old mistakes
↳ You don’t live there anymore.
↳ Learn, but don’t relive.

Guilt
↳ Guilt with no action becomes emotional clutter.
↳ Forgive, fix what you can, and move forward.

Unrealistic expectations
↳ You're not here to meet everyone’s standards.
↳ Set your own pace.

Pressure to be productive all the time
↳ Rest is not a weakness.
↳ It's fuel.

Other people’s opinions
↳ Don’t rent out your self-worth to someone else’s judgement.

Trying to prove yourself constantly
↳ You are enough without the performance.

What you let go of matters just as much as what you hold onto.

A letter to MYSELF
01/01/2026

A letter to MYSELF

01/01/2026

Not everything related to mental health needs to be clinical.

Therapy is valuable.
So is diagnosis.
So is professional intervention.

But education, reflection, and self-awareness also matter — especially early.

We don’t wait for physical illness to learn about nutrition or movement.
Mental health shouldn’t be different.

Teaching people how emotions work, how habits form and how regulation happens is not replacing therapy.
It’s strengthening prevention.

Education doesn’t compete with therapy.
It complements it.

Address

Street No : 9, Iqbal Park Opposite Aadil Hospital Main Boulevard Defence LHR

54000

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Tuesday 10:45 - 14:30
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Saturday 11:00 - 20:00

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+923261598489

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