20/08/2016
OKAY! The long overdue and slightly dense letter from Jett is about to be expelled on you.
Funnily enough, a constant picture flow of your faces is with me on a daily basis. I am just abominable at putting pen to paper and don’t even want to apologize again for my absence, believe me you are in my thoughts.
Then, there was the other daily ‘head debate’ replay as to how I was going to get anything personal out to my friends without having to make it ‘the property of Facebook.’ Raw is what I am and attention is not what I am actively looking for. However this path seemed like the most practical thing to do in the end so here goes.
Also I did want to respond to a number of people who have been in contact with me recently with a private message for each which also added to the backload and guilt I felt because due to life and eternal daily changes…the good intentions of communication did not materialize. To all of you dear friends, thank you for the letters, messages, cards, e-mails and texts every one of them helped and uplifted me.
Talk of “friends” peaked last night; Mike made me promise that ‘the deed’ would be finished by the end of our day today. He reminded me that I was feckin’ useless and unintentionally cruel for not keeping people in the loop.
Here goes…I dive right in. Mike is here (in the n**e, by the pool, drinking a vodka and tonic – making sure that I am sticking to my word).
Portugal is amazing. We landed in a paradise. The house, gardens (veg, fruit and decorative), location, vibe, all are magic and beyond perfect. However everything comes at a cost….
Depending on my September scans; we will have to move if we are to make Portugal a long-term plan. It is just too expensive to stay in this mansion without the subsidy of paying visitors. And I just don’t have the energy to start hosting. To be honest it is so nice to have friends visit and to spoil them without the hindrance of the dirty dollar.
There are many other accommodation alternatives, now we are in the native flow and have a feel for market rental values and how often owners are using//booking their houses in the neighborhood. We will be on the lookout for off-season 7-month rental contracts and take the next summer as it comes.
The surrounding countryside is heart stoppingly beautiful and our daily walks deliver s**t loads of awe (really good for building Kidney Yin!). I also do a 25 min meditation overlooking the sea, from the cliffs or a beach session depending on who is around. Yin, Yin Yin….
I have now completed a 4-month span of Tibetan Buddhist Sound Therapy, which is phenomenal. It’s all about healing the 5 organs (Heart, Kidney, Stomach, Liver and Lung on all dimensions (physical, mental and spiritual), it also totally resets the brain. It works on the basis of intention and vibration. Holy f**k! It really is quite transformational.
Anyways, my latest scan results (received 2 months ago) evolved into an atom bomb. We had initially been led to believe that the results were good but they were quite the opposite.
I had been feeling a lot of internal pulling coupled with sharp pain, so we were not completely unprepared for the diagnosis we received. Unfortunately, the cancer has returned to a number of areas, namely, a 4 by 5 cm tumor between the bowel and va**na, to much of the pelvic area with several metastasis in the abdominal area.
We managed to hold the doctors off for a fortnight by cancelling chemo sessions for 2 weeks until we had collected some cannabis oil from the North of Holland. What a trip! We flew into Amsterdam and caught a train to the North. The following 2 days, post oil collection, were full of adventure.
We caught a myriad of different trains from Amsterdam to Hoorn and back; we caught the bullet red train to Paris. It took 3 and half hours!!! We stayed over in Paris (which is in a state of crisis and totally depressed). The next day we ‘trained’ it from Paris via Biarritz the day of the Nice attacks, the day before Bastille Day! What lunacy…a world in crisis. At the Basque border we changed over to hotel train, had a 3 course meal, plenty of delicious wine and a cabin with shower to ourselves into Lisbon. And then yet another train back home to the Algarve.
I have been taking the oil now for 40 days and am on full dosage. I am in great form altogether and it seems to make for a very fast recovery from chemo (so far 2 treatments down and 1 to go before I will get 3 more CT scans done mid September and the doctors assessment to see if the chemo is working i.e. if the tumors have stayed the same or have been reduced. They would never be able to acknowledge the impact of the cannabis oil on whatever information the scans throw up.
It was a mixture of family heartache and fear at the serious spread of the disease that forced me into agreeing to this despicable method (chemo) of treating cancer.
The oncologists will probably also want to continue chemo treatment for the rest of my days; every 3 weeks until my body is too weak to take it anymore! If the tumors have grown I will come off the chemo treatment and live for the now, for as long as I’m given, further treatments will be solely of the natural kind. I will continue with the oil, meditation and diet and I will know that the success of the scans will have been a direct result of natural methods, rather than the chemo. I feel quite positive and strong. I don’t feel that my time has come yet.
The most difficult aspect of this whole experience is short-term planning. I love adventure and find it really hard not to plan a trip or enroll in a course. We simply can’t do that until we get some kind of result in October. Everything is on hold!!! It certainly highlights my deficit pathologies and I am now forcibly tied to a chair with matchsticks keeping my eyes open. So we sit and watch and breathe and do as little as possible and mostly accept that there is nothing but “the now” and we are in it.
Again, I am strong (apart from a few hellish days after chemo). I have put on weight and am happy. I had a crew cut a while back to make the hair loss more bearable Mike says I look great.
When things get rough, knowing that everything changes all the time and that nothing is permanent is pretty darn helpful.
The Medical team at Portimao hospital, is wonderful, especially the nurses. Also I prefer the public system here much, much more than the 5 star Blackrock Clinic’s money making machine, here they under prescribe rather than over prescribe drugs and are very homely, kind and open to alternative treatments.
Mike is my patient, loving, easy-going soul mate and allows me be the bossy boots that I am. He holds me and loves me and supports me and I could not want a better companion by my side. Kara is exceptionally well, is in love and is growing up. She is coming out for the 3rd time this summer in a few days for a 2 week stay.
Mike is returning to Ireland during this time to set up his students for the coming year and hand in his retirement papers. He will be back on the 11th of September and in time for my Dad’s 80th birthday. The parents and I have become incredibly close; we see each other twice a week, normally meeting up for delicious meals. They are fun to be with, unconditionally supportive and loving; it's a delight to spend this time with them. What a way to come together after us having been apart since I left South Africa at the tender age of 18. We also got the stunning news that I am going to be a proper “Auntie Jett” at last. My brother and partner Nikki are having a little son called Joshua in February. That is a date to keep methinks…
That’s about it folks. Life is good. Live the moment and do take time to reconsider what it is you are doing and what it is that you really want and need to do on a daily basis. Try to get some space and watch what is going on in your head. Don’t judge, resist the temptation to jump in on any dialogue and smile, inwardly knowing that you are already bloody fantastic.
Huge love to all for now from me, Mike and the 4 (very happy) woggly doggies. I will see some of you again of that I am sure. Be well.
